My Beating Heart
by Vampire-princess14899
Summary: I woke up to find my life twisted around. This must have been some cruel joke or something. But it wasn't. This was real. And whether i like it or not, this is my life now. I was going to die, sooner or later. I was hoping later.
1. Preface

Preface

You know your life is over when everything that you worked so hard for is destroyed.

When everything is flipped upside down and you have no clue how to change it back. And you have no clue to how it even happened in the first place.

When he stalks you and your family to the death and you can't even fight back. When's he stronger than you are and there's no way to win.

Love destroys things, I should know.


	2. Chapter 1: Dreaming

Dreaming

I ran hard. The forest flew by me in a moment before I realized I was closer to home than I had originally thought. He must have tricked me, making me think that there was no way I could get home fast enough.

Jason was dying in my arms, bleeding. But the blood meant little to me now. Jason was a werewolf; it was completely unappetizing to me. I didn't feel any different about him though. Werewolf or not, I loved this boy. But I couldn't love him anymore if he died.

I pushed my legs faster. It was at time like this that I was glad I was a vampire. That I was able fast and not get tired at all. Who knew I would be so thankful for being who I am when Jason was going to die.

But I couldn't let him. I had to find some way to save him. I could bite him, but who knows what that would do? It could kill him. My venom could be poison to him now, but what else is there to do? There had to be some way to save him! I couldn't just let him die without trying _something_.

I saw my house about a mile away, stretching over the sand. I burst out from the trees and then I was flying over the beach. It was pitch black out now, the moon rising, full.

The irony struck me that Jason would die on a full moon.

I shook the thought from my head. He wouldn't die. He couldn't. I pushed life back in him and he shoved it back out.

"Stay with me." I growled. I was sure he couldn't hear me. He'd been unconscious for about five minutes. And if there was only one thing I had learned about him, was that when he was out, he was_ out_.

Then my house was coming closer, but it was like I was getting slower, like I couldn't run any faster. I kicked the door open, and ran in the living room, my hands full. Everyone was frozen, puzzled at what they were seeing. But only for a moment. Then they were moving almost as fast as I was.

Cody threw together a thing that looked like something you would see in a hospital, but it was only a piece of furniture. Angel brought down bucket after bucket of warm water, while Trevor looked at Jason. I knew how he would feel. He would feel helpless that he couldn't do anything, but we were going to save him.

Then I remembered how much I didn't know about him. Though I've spent so long with him, I didn't even know his religion. Jason never talked about church or a god he believed in. Was he going to heaven? I sure hope so.

A memory came into my mind about a man I met so long ago. The one who claimed himself as the Messiah. He was killed and he came back to life in three days. I knew the truth of it because I could feel his life. He really did die and he wasn't a ghost. He was alive.

Skylar brought me back to this century.

"Claire what do you want us to do?" he was cleaning the wound and Nick already had an IV in his arm. I heard his heart getting slower and if I was going to act I had to act soon. There was only one way to save him and I had to do it now.

I felt weird, like someone was draining the life from me, but I couldn't think about that now.

I leaned down to bite his neck.

Then I began to dream.

_**Five Years Later…**_

I miss him. I couldn't go a day without thinking about him. My heart ached for him, but that was a thirst I couldn't quench. I don't know what to do without him. I don't know how to live, how to breathe. Again my mind flooded with the night it ended. To five years ago…

_Jason was alive. He was healed and I didn't even need to bite him. The werewolf in him healed the wound much quicker than I would have thought, but he was ok now._

_ Then I knew what I had to do. I knew he could never forget me, so I didn't try to pull what Edward had done with Bella, but I told him it was too much of a danger to be around him. I was dangerous and he was going to end up dying the next time Cody got his hands on him._

_ "Claire…" He whispered. He held onto me tightly, but not tight enough. He wasn't strong enough and that was exactly why we all had to leave._

_ "Jason, I'm sorry. It's for the best." I didn't want to let go either, but I had to. "Just promise me you won't ever forget any of this." I looked up into his deep Hazel eyes. He smiled, his eyes starting to water a bit._

_ "I promise." He vowed. He kissed me and let me go._

_ There was no big goodbye scene, I told Jason we might run into each other again. It was just too hard to keep him alive. I was leaving because I loved him and I had to make sure he knew that._

_ "Je t'aime." He called, his voice cracking on every syllable. He waved and I stepped into my car, Skylar in the drivers' seat._

_ I smiled, waved back, and then we disappeared from sight._

There wasn't too much to remember, but at least it was something to do. My life had made a complete one-eighty. Instead of having fun, I didn't smile anymore. I didn't laugh, but I didn't mope around either. I took care of my family, what was left of it anyway.

Sam had died trying to save us. It had worked, but it wasn't the way I had planned it. It wasn't that way any of us would have thought would happen, but they followed me anyway.

Keith was gone so that was the bright side to it all. He had been gone for five years, no sign of him at all. And there was no reason for him to show up. I killed him. He couldn't have risen from the dead, unless Cody made him, but I highly doubted it. Keith was going to kill me, there was no way Cody would let him live. Believe it or not Cody did have his moments.

We made our way to Alaska. Settled down in Anchorage, and was going to attend school like normal. We had no parents as our usual story and I was the eldest so I was in control of them. It was going to be our first day.

Though it was August there was a thick blanket of snow. It wasn't going to heat up for a while so we were free to roam around like normal people.

I wasn't very social anymore so no one would have to worry about me getting caught up in anything else, but I couldn't love anyone other than…_him_. I could say his name, but it hurt. It wasn't tearing me apart like Bella had described it, but it had a very hollow feeling. Like I was empty, like something was missing. Which there was, but I tried to avoid that sensation at all costs.

The sun rose and everybody was ready to leave. We cleaned our new house, made the beds and made sure it was nice looking, not that it was dirty before anyway. Laughter filled our large home and I didn't stop them. Though _he_ was family to them, they never did have quite the bond with him as I did. It would be really awkward if Skylar loved him the way I did.

Normally a joke like that inside my head would make me laugh, but I didn't even crack a smile. And no one made me. They could see the hurt on my face, but they didn't dare try to help. It was no use. It only made me feel worse.

So I didn't stop their fun, I just didn't join it.

Angel wanted to take _his_ mustang, but when she saw the way I looked every time I saw it, she said she didn't want it anyway. She missed him too and she wanted to remember him, but I didn't. Of course I didn't want to let go of all the memories, but it too much. What was it that Bella said? Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. That seemed to match perfectly here.

"Claire, you coming?" Skylar asked, pausing at the door. His face was worried, but he knew it wouldn't work to try to get me to smile. He stopped trying a long time ago.

"Yeah. I was just…thinking." Skylar and I weren't as close anymore. I didn't tell him everything and how I felt, but he understood. He nodded and waited for me, holding the door wide open for me to pass by. He shut it and dead bolted the door, but I was sure no one would even think about stealing stuff from our house. It didn't have the much stuff in it anyway.

Skylar drove my viper to our new school. Anchorage West High School to be exact. It was pretty nice and it reminded of me of the school in Oregon. At least it was the eagles instead of the Hawks.

We parked in the back of the lot. We didn't bother trying to get close, it didn't matter how far vampires walk anymore.

Though they were still curious, the teenagers got over the new comers quickly. Especially my red eyes. To be blunter they didn't really seem to care.

Skylar and I went to our homeroom-history-while Angel and Ben went to Chemistry. Nick, Syd and Taylor made their way to math. I knew how Taylor hated math so she wasn't going to be in a good mood. But I couldn't judge. I was never in a good mood anymore.

I only talked to Skylar and the kids realized soon enough I was ignoring them and I didn't want to speak. I hoped they didn't take it personally, they just didn't know my past. And they weren't ever going to know.

The teacher walked in, but nobody got quiet, but the teacher didn't mind. In fact these students seemed to like him, by the way they sort of hushed their voices and how they didn't mind history. I wonder if he was a fun teacher instead of the boring ones that I've met.

"Ok Class, welcome back to school." His voice was oddly familiar, but I just couldn't place it. There were a few groans, but none of them were disrespectful. Everyone was smiling and they looked like they were waiting for the fun class to begin.

He stood with his back to us. He had short blonde hair, I want to say buzzed but it was a little longer than that. He was about five foot eleven. Even under his suit I could see he was pretty buff. As I glance around it looked like some of the senior girls might have a crush on him. I rolled my eyes. Teenagers.

"It seems we have some new students." He said, still having his back facing us. That voice! Where had I heard it before?

"Could you please say you name out loud so we can all hear them." He was writing something on the board, not seeming to pay attention.

"Claire Emerson." I said.

Skylar spoke a little louder. "I'm Skylar Emerson."

The teacher froze. He dropped his marker on the floor and the books he held in his hand were forgotten. He turned around slowly. Then I saw his face. I knew it anywhere. His jaw dropped and his Hazel eyes locked with mine.

"Jason?" Skylar and I said together, amazed he was here. They were a few shocked murmurs from the rest of the kids. They wondered how we knew each other. I could tell him that I was a vampire and he was a werewolf and I left him to protect his life, but that wouldn't have gone too well.

Jason didn't speak. He looked older. Well he was older. I couldn't believe he cut his hair.

So without thinking I blurted out the first that came out of my mouth.

"You-cut-your-hair." Skylar busted out laughing. He must have thought that I couldn't say anything better. At least it was original.

Jason walked slowly over to me, like this was a dream and he was waiting to wake up. He touched my hand. I could feel the warmth of it. Then the smell hit me. It made me want to hiss, but I held it back.

Jason was a full werewolf now.

Of course he was. Why should I have expected it any different? Maybe because I tried to not think about him period. But it didn't matter. Every part of my body knew this was the man I loved, werewolf or not.

I saw his nose wrinkle, but he was still smiling. He pulled me up-surprising me of the strength he now possessed-and held me tight. I held on back, not ever wanting this moment to pass.

There was a wolf whistle from Skylar. How ironic.

"Nice to see you again, Jason." Skylar said, punching his arm. "I haven't seen Claire smile in who knows how long."

I couldn't believe it. Skylar was right. The corners of my lips were pulled up into a wide grin. It felt so right. It felt safe, it felt like home. And in a way I was home. Jason was my home, where ever he was, that would always be my safe haven.

Then Jason was kissing me with such force is shocked me. I couldn't believe how strong he was. It must be a werewolf thing. I didn't stop him either. I kissed back. I put my hands on the back of his head, trying to find his curly hair. I laughed on the inside. I settled for wrapping my arms around his neck.

I pulled away. "Jason we can't do this." I said above the shocked gasps coming from the people around us. His face fell, but for some odd reason, mine didn't. I was still smiling.

"Why?" he asked, still frowning. I didn't know why my face didn't frown in return.

"Because I love Cody." And then Cody was in my arms, but as I soon as I said the words, they didn't feel right. You know that music that plays in a horror movie when you realize that something is terribly wrong? Well it was playing loudly in my head.

In fact I don't remember ever loving Cody. I don't remember falling for him again. I didn't remember what I had done for the last five years. I didn't know anything.

Then it all went black. I didn't feel anything and I couldn't see anything. But I could hear a faint voice in the back of my head.

"When will she wake up?" Asked a worried voice. I could barely hear it, but I made out the words. They must have been talking about me.

"I don't know, Jason." Skylar said. I could make out his voice.

So it was Jason talking. He sounded so different. He sounded like him, but something was off. He sounded more graceful, even in his words.

I felt something ice cold put pressure on my wrist.

"It's been _five days_, Skylar." His voice was louder, closer. I could hear it better. Five days of what?

"She's not dead if that's what you're getting at. Can't you hear her heart?"

My heart? Since when did I have a heart?

My eyes flew open and I heard a few sighs of relief. Everything was fuzzy in my view. It wasn't as clear like normal. But as I blinked a few times I saw that nothing changed. Nor was it going to.

"Claire?" Skylar's face was in mine. I could taste his breath. It was sweet, but I couldn't taste it like normal. It was like my tongue wasn't as sensitive anymore.

"What?" my voice even sounded wrong. It wasn't as clear and musical as it had once been. What was going on? I looked around, but I couldn't see everything I had once seen.

"What happened?" I craned my neck and leaned up to see.

Jason looked different, but it was a good different. He was a little paler, but he still had the same hair and eyes. He seemed to have gotten more muscle if that was even possible, but it wasn't too much. His eyes were the same color of Hazel that I loved.

"You fell asleep." He said, his voice shimmering. He looked perfect. And as he said the words it was familiar to my mind, but I didn't understand at first.

"Oh ok." I said. Then it clicked. "Wait did you say I fell asleep?" I looked at my normal colored body. It wasn't pale anymore, it was quite tan.

Jason and Skylar looked at each other for a moment.

Skylar spoke. "Claire…you're human."

**Heyy I know I said I was going to take a break, but I just couldn't stay away! Anyway I hope you all like this first chapter because I had a tough time trying to figure out how I was going to do this at all. Oh and don't get offended by the Jesus reference please! I just had to put him in there because of my religion and all that so please keep reading anyway. -Kate**


	3. Chapter 2: Pryor Wolf

2. Pryor wolf

"Human?" I whispered under my breath, looking down. I didn't want to believe what I was hearing. That was utterly impossible. Wasn't it? "I must be dreaming."

"Sweet heart, even if this was a dream, you would still be human." Jason said as I looked up into his eyes. The sight of him took my breath away, now that I was paying attention.

His skin was a few shades paler, but it felt normal to me. There was no other way to explain it besides that he looked perfect. He looked like a…vampire. But that still didn't quite fit. He still looked human.

Something bit at my memory, but I couldn't quite pull it up in my head. My vampire memories were still hard to access.

I put my hand up to his face and I felt his smooth skin. He looked normal, he even felt warm, but Jason was colder than I remember…

"What happened? All I remember is bringing Jason home and everyone beginning to work on him. I even remember starting to bite his neck. But the rest is…is blank. Well, besides the dream." I looked around and then a question popped to my tongue. "What year is it?"

"August third, two-thousand and nine." Jason said, still grasping my hand that was on his cheek. Again the sight of him flared something in my memory, but I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Nick came to sit beside me, which made me realize I was on the floor. Why was I on the floor?

"They didn't want to move you in case something was wrong." Syd answered from upstairs, clearly doing something else.

Of course she was going to answer me. My mind reader was back.

"Well you did bite Jason, that sent him into the changing process, but his was really weird. It took him three days like normal and he seemed to be doing fine. That is until he woke up and his heart was still beating." Nick looked over my body, still having a shocked expression on his face. He looked so beautiful.

"I thought he was going to kill somebody when he saw you, Claire." Skylar said. He smirked and then went on. "He was still a newborn, but he kept shaking until we told him to calm down. He stayed by your side until you woke up, which is right now. Nothing really exciting."

"Besides me being human."

"Right besides you being human." He smiled.

"It was so interesting." Nick said, looking upstairs. "It was like you were going through the changing process, only backwards."

"Thanks, Nick." I said with heavy sarcasm.

"Well her humor hasn't changed." Skylar said, ramming his elbow into Jason's stomach.

"What was your dream about, love?" Jason's voice was amazing. For a moment I couldn't speak and when he smiled back I felt a faint warmth in my cheeks.

"She's blushing!" Nick cried, bursting into laughter.

"Shut up!" I yelled with so much force, Nick looked at me with some fear.

"Amazing." Skylar said. "Even as a human she still strikes fear into us."

"Your dream?" Jason pressed, ignoring their jibes. When I leaned up a bit, he picked me up into his arms and set me on the couch. It was much more comfortable.

"Well I had left you and I didn't have to bite you. The werewolf side of your body saved you. Then we left and it was five years later. I was a mess. I didn't smile or anything anymore. Sam had died and everything was back to normal.

"Then we went to school in Alaska. I and Skylar were in history and then you came in, only I didn't know it was you. The kids loved you." I told him. He smiled. He slid under my legs and sat at the other end of the couch, watching me.

"Anyway, you asked us to say our names, but you weren't looking at us. When we said them you froze and turned around. We had a big scene of hugs and stuff. But do you know the first thing that I said to you?"

He waited. And when I realized he wasn't going to answer I spoke again. "I said, 'You-cut-your-hair'. It was pretty funny." Skylar looked at Jason with a weird face. I guess he was trying to imagine him bald or something. Jason touched his hair and gave me a wired look as well.

"So then you kissed me and then I stopped it." I didn't talk anymore. I didn't want to. The next part still scared me. I almost thought I was real if Jason hadn't of told me I had been dreaming.

"And?" Nick said, his voice coming from the kitchen. I even heard Trevor's, but I couldn't hear his exact words. This really sucked.

"I told him we couldn't do this because I was in love with Cody-" Jason growled. I couldn't believe that he had actually growled-"And then it turned weird. It was like a horror movie and then it all went black when Cody came into it. Then I heard you two and I woke up." It was amazing how well I could do with summaries.

Skylar looked curious, but Jason looked somewhat pained. Nick popped his head out of the kitchen. Then it wasn't long before Trevor went to see what the commotion was about.

"Hey she's awake!" Trevor yelled before Nick pushed him back in.

"Here eat this and shut up." Nick said, his voice wasn't very loud.

I kicked off the couch and went to go look into the mirror in the bathroom downstairs. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I could see in this girls' features, but she was so…different. The girl in the mirror had my same hair, only it wasn't as soft. I was still the same height and my face looked the same, other than I wasn't pale or perfect looking anymore. My eyes stood out the most. Her eyes were a deep blue. Not too dark. It looked almost purple.

But I did know this person. This was the girl I used to be when I was still human. I was still a little pretty, but I knew once I saw Angel or Bella my self esteem is going to drop big time.

"You were right about your eyes. They're so beautiful, just like you." Jason said, making me jump. He laughed. I didn't hear him come in. he was just so quiet and stealthy. He had to be a vampire, but then again, why was his heart still beating if he was?

Again something was tugging at my mind, but it wasn't clear. I saw a man. He looked familiar. Then it became so clear.

I ran out from the bathroom and went straight into the kitchen. Jason followed me quickly and I jerked one of the drawers open. I grabbed a knife and went back to where Skylar was standing.

"What are you doing?" Skylar was eyeing me, well more of the knife on my hand.

"Stand in front of me." I ordered. He took his place, but before he could say another word I shoved the knife into my shoulder. Blood spilled out, but I wasn't afraid of Skylar.

White hot pain flashed through my shoulder. I wanted to scream, but I ignored the feeling.

"What the-" Skylar began, but his head whipped around at the sound of Jason's snarls.

Jason was twisting uncontrollably. He trembled from head to foot as he fought back, trying not to kill me. Trying to fight the vampire in him. Though he did smell blood so his wild side was triggered. As he shook and trembled the others assembled into the living room, ready to fight. But I wasn't afraid. I knew what was going to happen and in a short moment, everything would be ok.

Then Jason erupted. In his place stood one of the most magnificent jet black wolves I had ever seen. He was about three feet taller than Jacob, and even he was a huge beast. The shaking stopped as he looked from side to side. His green eyes were too intelligent to pass for an animals. He was long and sleek. Jason had muscles in his calves that were two times bigger than Skylar and Nick's bodies put together. He looked directly at me with an expression that could not be mistaken. Jason was confused.

Skylar's eyes were wide. He looked back at me, my bleeding shoulder, then back to Jason. Angel was past words. Taylor stood ready with her hands up, but she lowered them slowly as Jason calmed down. Once everyone realized the danger had passed, they all stared at me.

I smiled.

"You knew this would happen?" Skylar asked, putting his hands on my shoulders. I cried in pain as he touched them. He pulled back, apologies on his face. Jason stepped forward, whining at my pain.

I knew that when Jason turned into a wolf that he would no longer feel the pain of a vampire. He wouldn't want my blood. His head would be calm. But I needed him angry so he would change. In this case he was fighting so hard his frustration grew and he changed.

"Of course I did." I said, sounding offended. "You don't think I would be so stupid to make myself bleed if there wasn't a reason, do you?"

Jason whined again, as he turned at Syd.

"Jason said he doesn't understand." Syd said quietly. She could read his mind like Edward did with the packs. Good. I needed a translator.

"What is he?" Taylor said, at my side in a flash. I still couldn't believe how fast she was moving. How fast I moved when I was a vampire. No wonder Jason got dizzy.

"He's a Pryor Wolf." I stated, walking closer to Jason. I put my hand on his neck, trying to reach up to his head. He barked and even though he was in wolf form, I could still see his smile. He leaned down and I scratched his ears.

"Sweet." Nick said, walking over to Angel, who was still at the foot of the stairs. "I always wanted a dog."

Jason growled.

"He said he's not anyone's pet." She paused for a moment. "Except for Claire's." Syd added. I rolled my eyes, still toying with Jason's hair.

Skylar looked at me with an expression I knew too well. But he seemed to let it go. "And how did you know this?"

Jason laid down on his stomach and I slid into the floor as well. I leaned on his side, closing my eyes. His stomach rumbled in pleasure.

"I met a guy once. Before I saved Skylar and he was, what he called a Pryor Wolf. Half wolf, half vampire." I made more clearly. "Jason will be exactly like a vampire in human form. He's strong, fast, and perfect. But he's like Sam so when he gets angry he's going to turn into a wolf.

"That's why I wasn't worried, but I wanted Skylar in front of me. Just in case." I yawned slightly, my eyes drooping. "When Jason's a wolf he won't have the craving for my blood like when he's in his vampire form. I think it's really cool."

"Why is he like that?" Trevor asked, coming in slowly. I saw Jason wink and when he looked at Trevor he flashed his teeth. Trevor bounced back a step, his eyes wider than Skylar's when he saw Jason.

"Well Jason was a full werewolf, just not full grown yet. Now when I vampire bites a werewolf, it kills it. But when a vampire bites a werewolf in the changing stage, it turns him into a half vampire, half werewolf.

"I knew I was getting real close to that fine line when Jason was complaining about the vampire smell, but I had to do something fast or he would have died. So in my defense he would have died either way if my plan didn't work." I shrugged my shoulders as they tried to follow along.

Syd spoke for Jason. "So I'm a vampire-wolf hybrid?"

I nodded. He grinned and howled loudly.

Ben put his hands over his ears. As did everyone else. "Ok, as long as he doesn't pee on the carpet, you can keep him." Ben laughed at his own joke. We all moaned.

"Come on that was punny! Get it? Food joke?"

Jason shoved his giant paw over Ben's mouth.

"Use for Pryor Wolf paw one-thousand and one: shuts vampires up." Angel seemed quite pleased with her joke and with a flip of her golden hair, she walked off.

I saw one of Jason's big eyes roll.


	4. Chapter 3: Family

3. Family

Jason spent the night as a wolf, curled up with me on the floor. I never got cold with his warm fur always rubbing up against me. I watched him sleep, amazed that he even could. Jason was so lucky. He was both vampire and werewolf. He was almost like Renesmee, but he was more indestructible. Edward's daughter was still so fragile.

I slept dreamlessly, still shocked when I woke up that I was actually human. With Jason still sound asleep, I walked to the kitchen, stomach growling. I wanted my first meal to be amazing. Something that nobody had for breakfast. What was it that Jason had made not too long ago? I searched the kitchen looking for all of the ingredients when Trevor waltzed in.

He looked at me for a moment, taking in the black fur that was on my clothes. He nodded and went to the fridge.

"Trevor?" I asked, taking a few steps over to him. He looked around at me, food already stuffed in his mouth.

"Yeah?" he said after swallowing. He grabbed a few jars and put them on the counter, opening them. He put out a few slices of bread in the toaster we got and then turned around for the butter.

"I was wondering if you could show me how to make that _thing_ you were eating the other day." I opened the drawer and handed him a butter knife as he was searching for it.

He looked up at me and smiled. And something in that smile made me realize is wasn't about me giving him the knife.

After getting out the different kinds of food he asked if I liked spicy food or not.

"I don't remember."I told him, shrugging my shoulders. Even my old human memories were a little foggy. He put the spicy crap in anyway and added different layers of stuff from our food pantry. After about five minutes of him pretending to be a chef, he topped his creation off with whip cream. He was going to put a cherry on it, but I never did like cherries. That much I knew.

When I went back into the living room Jason was gone. I looked around about to freak out, but Jason came in through the front door, looking human. He came to my side at once, eyeing the plate full of food in my hands. It was too much.

As soon as I took my eyes off of the plate in my hands it started to wiggle. I tripped sending the plate into the air, while I was heading straight towards the floor.

Warm hands caught me. Jason smiled at me. He must have thought that it was absolutely funny that he had to rescue me instead of the other way around. Skylar had my food in his hands, not a chip out of place. I growled at the look on Skylar's face with Jason holding me back.

"Give me my food." I said, taking it from him and sitting on the couch. Jason laughed and sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder, taking a chip and shoving it in his mouth.

I took a small bite and set it on the tip of my tongue. It tasted like nothing I have ever had before. Probably because I haven't. I put more in my mouth, being careful to chew so I don't choke.

After finishing my food in silence I turned to look at Jason, who was watching me. I still couldn't get over how dazzling he looked. He looked beautiful before, but this was just spectacular.

"So did the venom hurt?" I asked him. It was a stupid question, but the other guy never did tell me if he went through the changing process the same as we do or not.

"Like hell." He paused and looked at me. "But it hurt worse to wake up and see you on the floor, not knowing what was going on." He smiled and took my hand, flipping it over.

"That's really cheesy." I told him.

"Yeah, but it's true."

I leaned on his shoulder. Then I looked at mine, surprised that it didn't hurt and there were stitches there.

"Once you were asleep Skylar cleaned it up and everything. If you're going to stay human for a while I'm going to need to learn this doctor stuff." Jason explained. He looked up at the stairs and then my stomach hurt.

Angel came gracefully down the stairs and the sight of her put my confidence way down a few thousand notches. How could I compete with her walking around? She looked so perfect and I was just plain. Just an ordinary human.

"Which reminds me, don't ever do that again." He ordered, pulling my eyes away from Angel's approaching figure. "Even if you do know what going on, you could have been killed. I was so freaking out, I didn't know how _not_ to kill you. I don't like the image of your mangled body in my hands in my head. Are you listening?" in truth, I wasn't. I was too busy wondering how something like Jason could love something like me.

Jason sighed and looked to see what had my attention. When he put my pained looked and Angel together he looked back at me. "You're still the most beautiful thing in my world."

"You must have a pretty boring world then." I mumbled, not really knowing what I said. I stood up and went to get a shower.

The next few days flew by without me fully realizing it. Everyone explained what happened with Keith and it looked like everything was fine. Sam hadn't come back though. Then it was August 16th. Jason's birthday. Skylar and I made plans to go over to his father's house and hang out there for a while. His mother's brother, Kyle, was coming over as well.

I got dressed and brushed my hair, when Angel came in. a familiar pain entered my gut, but I couldn't dwell on her beauty anymore. It hurt too much. I knew it was only going to get worse once I saw Bella again.

She offered to do my make-up. I didn't plan on doing it, but when she towed in a big bad full of that stuff, I agreed. I had no idea why she had since she didn't need it, but I didn't really want to ask.

Jason walked by the bathroom and he came in. he didn't look very happy when he saw what Angel was doing.

"I didn't say she needed it." She said after looking at his face. She must have known what he was thinking. "I just haven't done it since Sam didn't come back so I missed it." Her face winced at the mention of Sam, but she let it go and went on with the foundation process. Jason shook his head, mumbled something under his breath, and walked off. He still didn't know what we were all getting ready for.

After about ten minutes Angel was finished and we all walked out the door. I went to drive, but nobody wanted to let me. They said something about humans driving too slowly. I was going to say something, but I remember not letting Jason drive because he was too slow. I hated this human thing so far.

Nick pulled up to Jason's house and we all got out. When Jason heard his father yell surprise it finally dawned on him that it was his birthday. Men. They forget everything except football games.

His dad seemed to notice the few changes on his son, but he did look more human than anything. He just had the strength of a vampire and he could turn into a wolf. Maybe we should leave that out.

His uncle Kyle wasn't there because he wanted to see him on the beach. Thank goodness today wasn't sunny. I didn't have to worry about it, and neither did Jason, but the rest did.

We walked out onto the shore and Jason went up to a hot dog stand to get us some food. Trevor and Cody went with him. Skylar and I just walked up and down beside the water.

He put his arm over my shoulders and just kept the human jokes coming. I think he was trying to get as many as possible done before I turned vampire again. When was I going to be a vampire again?

"Skylar, couldn't you just bite me and it would all be done with? I mean I don't really like being human anymore." I said, sitting down in the cool sand. There weren't very many people out.

"We already tried. That's why it took you five days to wake up, because we put the extra vampire venom in you. I can try again if you like." He teased, leaning down closer to me. I knew he was just faking when he put his lips to my neck, but then I heard growls coming closer to us.

Skylar was pulled from me from a tall man. They began fighting, barring each other's teeth, snarling. The man had Skylar pinned down in a moment, but then Jason came over pulled him off. When the man saw Jason's face he stood up, no longer growling. Jason did the same. Did they know each other?

"Jason?"

"Uncle Kyle?"

Kyle smiled. "How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Kyle?" then he seemed to really look at him. He sniffed the air and then hissed.

"You're one of them?" Kyle asked, nodding over to Skylar.

Jason held his hands up. "In a way, yes. But it's not what you think."

"I just saw him trying to bite her." Kyle's eyes flashed to me.

"Skylar? Nah he already tried o change her back into a vampire." Then Jason stopped talking, realizing he said too much. Kyle wouldn't understand.

"What?"

Jason explained to him my predicament. He told him how he fell in love with a vampire and everything that had happened. Luckily he was as good at summarizing as me. He told him how he was dying and that I bit him to save him. Then turned human. Then he told him what he was. Kyle seemed surprise to hear that one.

"That's pretty interesting kid." Then Kyle gave me his hand to help me up. "So you were a vampire huh?"

I nodded. It was nice to see that he understood.

"So I'm guessing that you're the reason Jason has werewolf in him?" I asked Kyle, shoving the hot dog in my mouth when we all sat down.

"His grandfather was a werewolf. He passed the gene through me, but his mother got some of it. Then I guess you got the full blast of it. My sister figured it out without having to be told about it. She was always superstitious." He laughed for a moment. "If I ever meet the vampire who killed her…" Kyle trailed off.

The blood drained from my face. Jason put his arm tighter around me. He shifted a bit in front of me. I was actually afraid. I wasn't stupid to think that I could take on Kyle. If he could bring Skylar down, he could take me out in a snap.

"That would be me." I whispered.

"What?" Kyle asked, turning to me.

"I killed her."

It took a few more minutes for Kyle to calm down. He was shouting so many profanities I wondered where he learned them all. I saw Nick writing some of them down. Jason tore the paper in half.

After explaining the story again Kyle seemed to get the picture that I had been a vampire with a guilty conscious. Jason even said that I hated what I was sometimes.

"But I hate being human again. It sucks being weak." I grumbled. Everyone laughed, even Kyle.

"Out of all the vamps that I met, I'd say you're about the best group." Kyle said, eating another hot dog. I'm telling you the man with the hot dog stand was really getting some business.

"Then you should meet the Cullens." Angel said, already getting out her phone.

"Who are the Cullens?" Taylor asked, putting her arm around Skylar. She kissed him quickly. Skylar had the face that said he missed that part of Taylor.

"Don't call them, Angel." I spoke, too late.

"Hello, Carlisle." Then she started speaking too quickly for me to understand. I wanted to spring at her and yank the phone away, but with this new body, I knew it would never work.

After hanging up with Carlisle she told us was going over there in two days. She didn't tell them about our recent troubles so we would have to explain them ourselves.

After talking for 30 minutes we decided we should go back to Jason's house. That's when I heard a voice that I never thought I would hear again.

"Nice to see you again, Claire." said my brother, Lukas.


	5. Chapter 4: Unexplained

4. Unexplained

I stood there like a fool, watching my brother. Lukas looked at me strangely, wondering if he got the wrong person. But as he glanced over my features he knew he had found his sister.

"You look…human. That's new." He laughed and pulled me into a tight hug. I looked at my brother. It had been so long. He still had the same black skin, the same, red eyes, and the same black hair. But did I really expect him to change?

"What? No welcome home, Lukas?" then he looked at Kyle. Kyle growled and Lukas swung me behind him, tense to fight. Was I ever going to have a day where no one was going to fight anyone? As I thought I figured that wasn't going to happen.

Skylar stepped in between them both, facing Lukas. Skylar looked over Lukas, not seeming to be able to connect the dots.

"Your brother is…" Skylar began.

"Black. Yes, I'm black. Good job figuring that out captain obvious." Lukas's tone was playful; he was just like a brother should be. Only he ditched me as did the rest of my family.

"And you're the reason Claire is not with us anymore."

Skylar grinned. "Yeah I wish you would have told me what a handful she is. Maybe I wouldn't have followed her." Skylar winked at me and smiled at Lukas. Well at least they were getting along.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked, stepping back over to Jason's arms. He didn't like me being in a vampire's perimeter with the way I smelled.

Lukas looked from Jason to me, ignoring my question. "Got yourself another one?"

Jason growled.

"Relax, dude." He sounded almost Australian. "As long as you hate Cody too, you're alright by me. As long as you don't break her heart too." Yes, Skylar was my closest brother, but not even he could fill the role Lukas was, and he had only been here for 3 minutes. I hadn't realized how much I missed my brother.

"To answer your question, mom and Lindsay are still in France. Dad went AWOL about 130 years ago. He was getting too frustrated with you leaving with…Skylar, right?"

Skylar nodded.

"So I get you all to myself." Lukas picked me up and swung me over his shoulder. I knew it was no use trying to fight it, but I hated this position, even when I was human a while back.

"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?" Nick asked, growing really impatient. Lukas sat me down on the sand.

"I was just visiting my little sister. But if you want me gone…" he shrugged and looked at me.

We spent another hour talking about my old life. We told everyone how I changed my whole family in grief from Cody and we spent our lives together. But when Skylar came along I wanted to go with him, but my family wanted nothing to do with another boy. I told them how he was different, but they still didn't believe me.

"Then I watched my family ditch me as I stayed by Skylar' side the whole time. And the rest is what I made after they were gone." I finished, sitting on Jason's lap. He still didn't seem to like Lukas, but I knew he made an attempt to be nice.

"It killed mom to see her stay from some human, but we had to go." Lukas said. I think he figured out that Jason didn't like him because he always followed him around. Right now he was sitting right next to him.

"You guys didn't have to leave." I pointed out, playing with his short black hair.

"True, but wait until I tell mom that you're human and you're with some mutt hybrid." Lukas said, taking my hand and putting it with Jason's.

Then Lukas leaned next to my ear. "So…have you yet?" he did that funny eyebrow thing that made me know what he was talking about.

"Lukas!" I shouted, slapping his face. He didn't even flinch. "That is my personal life. But no." I said a little slower. Skylar was trying not to laugh, Nick was already rolling on the ground with Ben, Taylor had her head turned away, but she was shaking, and Angel…well I didn't really know what she was doing.

"No? Wow that's a shock." Lukas winked at me. I was already mad at him, now I was just plain pissed. He tried to look innocent at my glare.

"So who are the Cullens?"

"How did you know about that?" Angel asked, after she stopped laughing.

"Oh it's just the family Claire lived with for a while before Skylar. Her best friend killed her sister and she hated him, but she's cool with him now. She made some new friends with two wolf packs and a half human half vampire."

Lukas's jaw dropped. "That's…that's really something. Jeez your life is exciting isn't it?" I didn't want to answer. I folded my arms and looked away.

Lukas rolled his eyes.

After our little chat we returned to Jason's house and stayed a little bit for a party. His dad kept wondering why Kyle was in such a bad mood. He just kept saying he doesn't think talking about it would help. Jason had to put his hand over Ben's mouth to keep from talking about vampires.

He went with us to the Cullens. Edward was really shocked to see my brother. Carlisle had a million questions about me being human. Jacob was just like Skylar, he couldn't stop with the human jokes. Just wait till I was a vampire again. Then they were going to get it. Renesmee was upset that we couldn't run anymore and Bella was just the same in my memories. It hurt to look at her.

"Pryor Wolf?" Jacob said after we told about what happened in the past couple weeks. "That's awesome." Of course Jacob would think that was awesome, he was a wolf anyway.

Seth was literally bouncing for joy when he came in to see what the fuss was about. Lukas did intimidate him though. His face was priceless.

Edward kept looking at me with the same expression.

"Why didn't you call us to fight?" Carlisle asked. "We wanted to help." There was a squeal from Angel as her and Rosalie did something upstairs.

"There wasn't any time." I told him. It was the truth, but more of it was that I couldn't think right. Jason was gone and I had only a few minutes to save him.

Edward raised one eyebrow.

_Get out of my head_, I growled internally.

"So Lukas, do you do anything special?" Jacob asked. Once Jacob sat down, everyone seemed to migrate to the couch. Jacob held Nessie in his arms, eyeing Lukas with that you-touch-her-I'll-kill-you look. Lukas seemed to get the idea, besides he just wanted to bug Jason. I didn't understand why Jason didn't like my brother because it seemed like everyone else did. Edward didn't even pick up anything bad in his mind either. I wonder what his deal was?

Lukas thought for a moment. "Not really. Not that I know of at least." His eyes darted around like he was waiting for something, but then he calmed down. Edward didn't look tense so I wasn't going to freak out.

I started yawning after about two hours of talking about my old life so Jason decided to take me home. Esme said I was welcome to stay as long as we wanted, but for some reason Jason wanted me out of that house, and he wanted me out of it now.

He set me down on our bed and paced the room.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He paused on his 27th step and looked at me.

"I want him to leave. Now."

"Who?"

He glared at me. "Lukas. That's who." He began to pace again. I saw his body twitch every few seconds.

"Why? He's my brother!" I got up and grabbed his arms, bringing him to a stop. Well I didn't, but he saw me and slowed down.

"I don't trust him. There's something about him, Claire, and it's something I don't like."

I groaned. This was just what we needed, a fight about my family. "Well you can't like everyone in my old life." I told him, trying to get him to look at me again.

"It's not about liking someone; this is about how I feel. He's trouble, Claire, why can't you see it?" he looked at me, just in enough time to make me wish he hadn't. There was something in his eyes that made me want to kick my brother out at this exact moment, but I just couldn't. Lukas was family and he had come to see me.

"All I see is my brother, Jason. Someone who loves me. Is this because he's black?" what a time for someone to be racist. I loved my brother, no matter what he did or what color he was. Why couldn't others?

"This isn't about his damn skin color!" he shouted. And before I could do anything, Jason threw me up against the wall. He held my arms there and curled up his fist. He brought it back and then punched me square in the jaw. He repeated that a couple times on both sides, before I heard a crack and he heard my cries of pain.

He let go of my arms-which I was sure I was going to have bruises there-and I slid onto the floor, tears spilling over my cheeks. I looked up to see his face. There in his expression was the most tortured look I had ever seen. It looked worse than I had when he cheated on me, when Shadow died, when Edward killed Sierra and when I saw him for the first time in a year.

When he saw me he leaned down and put his hand to my face. But before he could get it there, I flinched. I couldn't believe the own reaction in my body. I didn't know how I moved so fast, but I knew it hurt him. It hurt me more.

He I sat. Terrified of the one I love.


	6. Chapter 5: Torture

5. Torture

Jason Greenfield.

I didn't know how it happened. One moment everything was perfectly fine. Then one moment, it was all out of control.

"All I see is my brother, Jason. Someone who loves me. Is this because he's black?" Claire asked me. The expression on her face was very readable. I know I didn't need a mind reader for this. She thought I was racist. I was about to say that it didn't matter about his color, that I just had a weird feeling about him when something took control. The feeling was unreal. It was like someone just jumped inside my body and was using it.

And I couldn't stop him.

This is what Claire must have been talking about when she said it felt like she was trapped in her own mind. Like what the rest of my family said when Keith took control of them. But Keith was dead. Wasn't he? Claire had killed him. Hadn't she?

I watched my hands grab her arms and slam her into the side of the wall. Pictures well to the ground with a crash. I tried to yell and scream, but I couldn't gain access to any part in my body. If I could I wouldn't be here punching the life out of Claire. But I was and I watched in horror as she yelled.

"Cody stop." she must have said it without knowing it because normally she flinched at anything that had to do with Cody. I hated her thinking I was that scum, Cody. The one who abused her. The one who took her for granted. Sometimes I just wanted to be able to have the gift Claire possessed. I wouldn't kill him without a blink of an eye. And I wouldn't feel bad about it either.

But as soon as she said that word and I heard a slight crack, my body became mine. I let go of her and I watched Claire sink to the floor, blood flowing out of her mouth, and tears washing over he eyes. She looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes as she took in my face. I wonder what it was displaying because I couldn't feel anything at this point. I felt awful. I knew it wasn't me, but I wish someone would just kill me now.

I reached towards her face, wanting to just rewind the last minute or so to stop this from happening. I would give anything to take it back. To even not falling in love with her in the first place. Anything.

Then she flinched at my hand. I saw it in her eyes. She was truly afraid of me. I was a monster to her now, something to fear. I had hurt her. But that was nothing compared to what I saw next.

The moment she jerked away so fast, she just crumbled. Not like she fainted, but like she was dying. I leaned down and put my hands on her again. Her pulse was slowing. I was concentrating only on saving her. I was so focused even that I was completely unaware of the person that stood in the doorway.

The body tackled me, throwing me into the wall this time.

"Claire?" Jacob whispered, holding her jacket in his hand. She must have forgotten it. That's why he was here I guess. "What happened?"

But I couldn't answer him. I didn't even have an answer. I mean how could I explain what came over me. Did something really make me do this or was I just so angry I had lost my mind. It wasn't hard, being a newborn and all.

He shook his head angrily. Then he picked Claire's limp body up and ran out of the door. I followed, quickly phasing into a large black wolf. The first time Claire saw me like this was amazing. How she knew it would happen astonished me. At least I wasn't dead.

But I wanted to be.

I ran alongside the human Jacob who was surprised to see me like this. But he ignored that as he held Claire preciously. I wish I could be the one holding her like that. Like this whole thing never happened. It hurt to see it, but at least he couldn't love her. He had Nessie. Right?

We busted into the cullens house, surprising everyone. All eyes were on me before Jacob spoke. Then Claire's dying body had their full attention.

"I don't know what happened, but she needs help fast." he looked at everyone's frozen bodies. "Well come on!"

Too bad he didn't know that I was what happened.

Edward and Syd both snapped their heads to look at me. Damn, I forgot about the mind reading. But then they would know that I hadn't meant it. I couldn't control it in the first place.

"How…?" Syd choked off at the end. Her face was full of anger. I knew that if any woman showed you that look it was best to walk away slowly. If you didn't you were about to lose your head. Literally.

But how did they not know? I was showing it inside my head wasn't I? Was there something wrong with my head? Was there something blocking it like something had blocked Bella's? Did the werewolf blood in my cause some weird reaction?

There was a flurry of vampires and werewolves running to save my love. Carlisle and Skylar were already working on her upstairs; I could hear their breathing. I could also hear Skylar's constant grunts and hisses as he looked over her.

Edward glared at me then rushed upstairs, ready to lend some hands. Syd didn't look at me anymore. She went around the room, whispering to the others. She must have said something about what she heard in my head, because now everyone was glaring at me.

After about an hour of long working, I returned to my human form and changed clothes when Jacob and Edward came down. Carlisle stayed up there, monitoring her status. I heard Claire's heavy breathing. It didn't sound right. It was too strained.

Jacob and Edward approached me slowly. Each wore identical masks of hate.

Jacob was the first to speak. "You better hope she lives, Jason." he glanced from Edward's hard face to mine. "Or else we'll have the pleasure of killing you."

Good. I wanted them to kill me. Without Claire I was nothing. I couldn't live without her. She showed me this new life, this life where things that were fantasy became real. But it was only grand with her in it. I couldn't let her die. But one question tugged at my mind.

"Why would she die? I just broke her jaw." though the words were simple, the agony was very clear in my voice. I mean I heard her jaw crack didn't I? But then why did she crumble when she moved too fast?

"Oh you did much more than that." Edward spoke. Obviously he loved Claire. Not like I loved her or how he loved Bella, but he cared for her. He wanted her to live. Just like I did. "You snapped part of her neck." I felt the blood drain from my face. For once I think I was paler than Edward was.

"So, saying that I have something I really want to do." Jacob cracked his knuckles. He grimaced as he looked at my face and threw the first punch.

Well to shorten it a bit I got my butt kicked by a werewolf and a vampire. Being indestructible didn't mean that things like this didn't hurt. It hurt like crap. I couldn't remember the last time I had been in a fight. I really had to learn some better moves, but in this case I didn't really want to fight back.

I cleaned up the blood on my face and returned inside. Just waiting, hoping that the love of my life didn't die.

It was three days before anyone even let me close to Claire. Not that she had woken up, but just to see her face. Carlisle said she was more stable, but anything could still happen.

When Edward let me go inside with a smirk on his face the first I saw was Skylar. He was hovering over her body and when he turned to see it was me, I got the second beating. You'd me surprised what someone could live through. I didn't even get a glimpse of her.

It was another two days before I got to finally see her. I didn't eat and I didn't sleep. As a part vampire I really didn't need sleep, it was just something that came natural. When I walked back into Claire's operation for the second time, Skylar glared at me, but he let me in.

The sight of her purple face made me gag. I grabbed the closest trashcan and pretty much puked my guts out. Yep. I now knew I was more human than anything.

After heaving last weeks dinner up, I walked closer to her. I didn't dare touch her, but I wanted to. Skylar watched me with intent eyes. Did he not see the misery on my face? Did he really think that I would do that sort of thing again? I wonder what Edward read in my mind.

I studied her face. I saw where I broke her nose, her jaw, and gave her the nastiest black eye I think I have ever seen. Her neck was blacker than white and right now I think she looked more like her brother that anything. How ironic.

Her shoulders looked broken too. Was there any bone in her body that I hadn't broken? I watched Claire breath. And by the sound of it, it didn't sound as harsh as it had been days ago. It seemed to come easier; like that fact for trying to stay alive didn't make you want to give up.

I looked farther down her body. Her waist looked a little off, but it wasn't broken. Bruised, but not broken. It didn't look like anything happened to her legs, but it was impossible to tell when your mind was pounding like this.

I left the room in a hurry. Other waited down stairs with disgusted looks, but I ignored them. They couldn't make me feel any worse than I already did. I opened the door and in such a quick motion I snapped a tree off from its trunk and watched it fall over. I tossed a few boulders over the river and sat down by the bank's edge. I just wanted this torture to be over.

No matter how many times I had tried to explain it to the rest of them nobody believed me. Over the last days they just thought I was trying to keep some excuse up. I saw Taylor look at me like she wanted to believe, but after she went up to see Claire, I knew all hope was lost.

I wish I were burning right now. I wish I had never met Claire so I wouldn't have hurt her like this. Why couldn't anyone see that it wasn't my fault? Or was it?

I groaned loudly and the anger that flared up so suddenly made me shake. Before I knew it was on all fours, running away from here. I flew past the forest, making my way towards Canada. This was where Claire had run to when she had hurt me, now I was going to do the same.

At least she hadn't come close to killing me. At least there was someone there to stop her, to save her from making the biggest mistake of her life.

Two questions formed in my mind at that moment.

Who was going to save me?

And.

Where was her brother, Lukas?

**Ok personally I think that chapter sucked. And now you know why Jason had done that, sorta. And you know how this story is called My Beating Heart? Well just because Claire's human now it doesn't mean that the title is talking about her. That's just something to keep you up at night thinking about. Haha. Lots of love-Kate**


	7. Chapter 6: Awake

6. Awake

The sun was shining directly on me, sparkles shimmering on my own skin. It amazed me though even I was half human, I still glittered. I would have thought I would just have a soft glow like Renesmee. But no, here I am, sparkling like a gay kid. I hope I wasn't turning into one. That would be really awkward.

It had been a full day since I left the Cullen's house. Once I got to the spot where Claire had been, I hadn't moved. I still smelled her scent. It had a sickly sweet smell to it as did the other vampires, but since I was one it didn't bother me much. It was the same for the werewolf smell.

Dang, I was my own worst enemy. How funny.

I heard soft feet moving quickly towards me. The wind was going in the other direction so I couldn't smell if it was a friend or an enemy. But was anyone my friend right now? The vampire was getting closer. I heard the soft thuds that were too graceful for a werewolf's. It was neat to be both monsters put together.

Taylor was standing in front of me then. Her blonde curled hair was blown by the wind, pointing out in different directions. I watched her face, looking for anything that might tell me she was here to fight, but it looked sad.

I jumped up fast. "Is Claire…?" I asked quickly. What if she had died? Then why shouldn't she be ready to fight me? Was she too far in her own sorrow for the loss of her sister to be angry.

"She's fine." Taylor said, reading the emotions on my face. She must have saw something she liked because she smiled, but only slightly.

"Oh." I said, sitting back down on the soft ground. I sighed and put my face in my hands. What was Taylor doing here then? She hates me, why would she come?

"I bet you're wondering why I'm here." she stated. I lifted my head to see her face. It was as beautiful as any vampire's, but not as pretty as my vampire's, or was it human? Sure Taylor was wonderful, but not the one I loved.

"Does everyone is this family read minds?" I joked. Taylor chuckled a bit, but it wasn't enough to make me feel better.

"Not really, but with Syd around always talking about what's in peoples minds, you learn to be able to read expressions." Taylor looked away from me, her eyes drifting off to look at something that wasn't there. Her skin was also glowing like mine. We looked like Christmas lights.

"I believe you, you know." Taylor said, pulling my face up to look at her. At first I didn't understand what she meant, but after a while you could even hear the click in my brain as I put her words and actions together.

"Why?" why would she believe that I hadn't actually harmed Claire? Why would she believe me that something had controlled me? Why wasn't she ripping my head off about almost killing her sister?

"Mostly because I know what its like to have someone control your body. It feels weird and abnormal, but its not something you can just pull off like a needle or something. I was trapped in my own body, a prisoner to myself. There were moments when my body did something that made me have such a strong reaction that I was able to over power Keith. But not even with my strength could withstand his.

"Keith even tried to control Claire, but that didn't work. He wasn't strong enough to wrap around her mind and pain. It cause him to hurt as well. The only was able to cope with her dangerous mind was Cody. That the only way she could be trapped too. That's why the Volturi couldn't hold her."

I've never heard the story about her and the Volturi. I mean I know she was a part of them, but I didn't even know who they were, other than nobody liked them.

"Oh and I see the way you look at her." Taylor said. She had a certain charm to her, something that made you want to listen to her. But maybe it was more powerful for Skylar, because at this point I didn't really care.

Taylor looked down like she was going to say something that made her uncomfortable. "I also don't want to lose another brother." her words were hushed, but they shocked me. Nobody other than Skylar had actually called me that. I didn't think the others really liked me, but I've really only met half of them. I didn't really know this girl right next to me. "I mean I don't really know that Sam's dead, but I've known Keith since he came. I never thought he had it in him to do that kind of thing. Or maybe I just didn't want to think about it."

"Um…thanks." I didn't know what to say about it. She called me part of her family, even though I almost killed her sister.

"Hey I forgot to ask while I was getting the life pounded out of me," Taylor's laugh chimed like bells, but it wasn't nearly as alluring as Claire's. could I ever love anyone other than Claire? It hurt to think about it. "Where's Lukas?" I hadn't seen him. More importantly I wondered why he hadn't killed me.

Taylor stopped laughing. Her face got all confused as if she was still wondering the same thing. Like she wondered why he hadn't killed me yet either. She pushed her hair behind her ear and I saw her play with a piece of clothing at the end of her shirt. She was nervous.

"He left like thirty seconds before Jacob came with Claire and you. He was all fidgety the whole time and he kept looking out the window like he was waiting for something to happen. Syd didn't pick up anything and neither did Edward, so I just brushed it off. Then he just got up, said that he had to leave, and then he just ran. The way he left was what puzzled me the most." Taylor stopped to take a breath. She looked off into the trees again, not moving.

"What did he do?" I asked, tired of waiting for her to pick back up on her story. I seemed to bring her back by the force of my words. She smiled and mouthed "Sorry" before she began again.

"Lukas said 'Elle a commence'. And I'm pretty good in French, but I was never as good as Claire and Skylar so I can't tell you what it means.

"After that he had the weirdest expression on his face that looked almost like a sneer. But even with our eyes, he was gone too fast for me to see." she paused before saying something that lightened the mood. "He's definitely Claire's brother." it may have lightened the mood, but I still scowled.

"You don't like him." it wasn't a question. I couldn't believe how well everyone was at reading faces, but then again I don't think I've tried to hide my dislike for him.

"That's what the fight was about, I'm assuming." again it wasn't a question. Why did girls always have to know everything? Jeez, it always gives us such a disadvantage.

"Yeah." I said unwillingly.

Taylor smiled. She combed her hands through her hair. I couldn't believe how she made me feel. She had like something around her that made you trust her, make you want to just tell her everything. I wonder if that's why Skylar is so in love with her.

"She loves you, you know?"

"She shouldn't, but yeah, I do." more than Taylor would ever know. I couldn't ever explain how Claire made me feel. I couldn't describe it for her. Isn't that what love was about anyway? To feel so deeply about someone and not ever wanting it to stop, or was that just lust? Yes, Claire I'm a teenage guy. Of course I've thought about Claire like that. From the hotel room to the night she had kissed Skylar and then I had tried to without even thinking about it. Yes, Claire was beautiful. Yes, Claire was beyond sexy. Yes, she had a great body that I had imagined so many times undressed, but I didn't let that control me. If Claire knew-and she probably knew I had thought about it-she would be saying I was only human. Sort of.

I didn't love her only because I wanted sex, I wasn't like that. My mother had raised me to respect women and I'm sure if she were here also she would have told me to wait and be responsible and make sure I loved the woman for her, not just the things that came with it.

"You should have seen her at lunch the first day she ran into you. I thought it was funny to see Claire fall so hard for one simple human." what she said hurt a little bit, but I didn't let it show. Or maybe I did. "Not that you turned out to be simple. How Cliché that Claire not only falls for a human, but a future werewolf.

"Then when you asked her on a date for that game she was going crazy. She didn't know what to wear and she was so worried you wouldn't like her. I'm telling you, I don't think I have ever seen her act so human other than that night and the morning she woke up and she was literally human." she laughed again, more like a fond breath like when you think about pleasant memories.

"Claire is truly one of a kind." I breathed, picturing her in my mind, smiling and not bleeding. Holding her in my arms and kissing her deeply.

I jumped up. I had to go back. I needed to see her.

Taylor smiled and waved me off.

"Thanks." I told her before flying away like I was never there. I laughed breathlessly when I ran fast. No wonder Claire loved running on foot. It was beyond exhilarating. Speed was everything at this point.

The picture was different when I returned to Forks. Everyone in the house wasn't as tense and it only took me a second to figure out why.

"Jeez I look like I went through a meat grinder." Claire laughed, her voice sounded normal. "Look at my hair! Did nobody bother to brush it?"

I took the stairs ten at a time and it took me no time at all to knock on the door. Nobody was in the room, but she was talking loudly. She must have been complaining to them downstairs.

"Come in." her voice was a little rough, but no human would notice unless they had hearing like us.

I stepped in slowly, letting her register it was me. When she looked up from the mirror she was holding in her hand her face was surprised. When I saw her face again, knowing that I did that to her, I grabbed the trash can again and puked. It wasn't as bad as last time I did it, but it still made my stomach twist.

"What's wrong?" when I looked into her blue eyes, they were guarded. Like she was afraid to let me seen how scared she really was. She had gotten really bad at that.

I could have lied and said nothing, but I didn't want to lie to her. "I don't like looking at your face." but that sounded wrong. She looked offended so I back tracked. "I mean I don't like seeing what I did to you." that sounded much better. It was the truth. That was the most important.

Claire looked down.

"I don't really know if you want to hear it, but I'm sorry. Nobody believes me about what happened and I'm sure you won't either, but I just want you to know." I took in a big breath, pushing my hands through my hair, normally like I did when I was about to do something that was difficult.

"I want you to know I wish I could rot in hell for what I did to you. You'll never understand how much I hate myself for putting you in harms way. I know it's no excuse for what I did, but I am truly from-the-bottom-of-my-heart sorry."

Her face was unreadable. I didn't know if she forgave me or not. It took me a moment to realize that her bones weren't broken. She was using her arms and legs. Her face was still bruised, but her body seemed intact.

When she looked up her smile was warm, but it faltered sometimes. It seemed like she was with me here and with me the day I beat her. I wanted to hold her again, but I knew that wouldn't help.

I took a step closer, hesitating when I reached my hand to her face. The smile disappeared and she flinched a bit. When she looked back at me her face was hurt. She looked like she wanted to say sorry to me for hurting me a bit. Yes, it hurt to see her fear me, but it hurt more to see that she still wanted to make me feel better. I wish she would yell at me or something. That would be better.

Tears rimmed her eyes as they got red. I moved quickly and wiped them from her eyes. Again she cringed, but she relaxed after I stepped back some.

I turned around to walk out the door.

"Jason?" a shock jolted through my body making me stop. I turned around as she spoke my name. It made me smile when her voice wasn't full of fear when she addressed me.

"Yeah, Claire?' her blue eyes locked with mine. It that single moment I knew she still loved me. Without her saying a word I knew what she meant.

This was going to be hard. This was going to take some time. This was going to some thing she had never dealt with before or I for that matter. In that same moment I knew she was scared, not for her own life, but for us. She wanted what we had to last, forever. Believe it or not, she wanted me.

"I know. It's going to be ok." I walked out the door.

I hoped it was at least, but I wasn't going to say that to her.


	8. Chapter 7: Together

**7. Together**

**I walked down the stairs feeling better than I had the last time I walked down them. I had a smile glued on my face and it felt like it wasn't ever going to go away. I sat down on the couch beside Alice, who was picking up on my good mood.**

"**You noticed huh?" her voice was smooth. Alice's face was so strangely perfect. I mean all vampire's look like they are perfect, but her's was different. Her hair was in its normal spiky due, like always. I don't think I've ever seen her without it up like that.**

"**It was hard to not notice." I told her. Of course her face hasn't changed, but Claire looked a little less fragile. I looked into Alice's eyes, noticing the black starting to eat at the gold. She was getting thirsty. Thinking about thirsty vampires around my Claire sent an automatic growl through my throat. Jasper didn't react like he would have if he knew I was going to attack. He knew my emotions probably better than I did at this point.**

**Then it popped into my head.**

**How long had it been since I had even eaten? My throat burned, telling me I wasn't hungry. I was thirsty. I bet if my eyes were like a real vampire they would be blacker than pitch itself.**

**What would I even hunt? Clearly I could hunt humans and animals, either in wolf or human form. How would I even hunt? I had no clue to how to do anything anymore. How would I find my food?**

**Panic washed over my body, sending my heart into fast forward. I never knew a heart could pound that hard and fast.**

**Edward laughed. When I looked over at his face, he glanced at me. The way his eyes met mine, I knew he wasn't as angry about me as before. He looked almost friendly. Now is the time not to push it.**

"**How right you are, Jason." Edward said, chuckling. The others looked at him then back to me, wondering what I had thought. "Don't worry, we can help you hunt." He didn't sound mocking, but there was a edge to his words. More like he was teasing me in a brotherly way. I hoped so. I don't think I can take another beating like he and Jacob gave me. But theirs wasn't anywhere near as awful as Skylar's.**

**The gesture made me feel better though. I knew I couldn't except it.**

"**I need to do it on my own." I said quickly, walking out the door. No one tried to follow me, but I knew their eyes were. I quickly jumped over the river, underestimating my strength as I leaped farther than I wanted to. I edged deeper into the woods, getting father away so know one could hear my thoughts. I didn't want anyone to know what I was thinking. I needed to do this on my own. I had a choice to make.**

**Choice number one: I could be like Claire. I could hunt humans and be like a normal vampire. I could know what she had felt like every time she hunted and I could have that pain with her. I didn't have to let her be alone. The down side to that amazing plan was that people would die and Claire wouldn't really approve.**

**Choice number two: I could be like the rest of my family and hunt animals. I could earn the approval of everyone, even Claire. I could be a good vampire, saving the lives of many humans. The down side to that. Was there really a down side to that? It seemed nice, but before I made my decision I moved on.**

**Choice number three: I could hunt animals with the others, but I can hunt humans only when I'm with Claire. I could ease her guilt and pain because she would know I was with her through it all. I could help her wash away the ache that she felt every time her eyes went red. I didn't see a downside to that either. Other than killing people of course.**

**I liked number three.**

**I closed my eyes and didn't think at all. I sniffed the air as I let my mind extend into the open forest. I passed trickling streams and scurrying little animals, trying to flee from the threat they sense.**

**I caught two scents. One was clearly a human, the other was some elk herds. I wanted to go for the one scent that made my mouth water, but I rushed towards the elk. It took only a few bound before I brought down the biggest buck.**

**I drained it quickly, feeling the thirst strongly for the first time. I jumped quickly for the next biggest and sucked the blood quickly. I decided since I was going to be around a human that smelled so good I was going to play it safe. I went for another one and then I started to feel full. I could feel the numbness in my throat, but I knew it wasn't going to stay that way.**

**I ran back to the house, stepping inside. I hadn't realized that my shirt was in strips until I saw Jacob trying to hide his laughter.**

"**Was the elk too much for you?" Jacob said, trying to breathe. Nick and Ben howled with laughter. And Skylar even cracked a smile.**

"**Don't worry." Bella said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "It happen to everyone on their first hunt."**

**I smiled and went upstairs. Again I knocked before Claire invited me in. I saw her eyes get wide as she bit her tongue. The way she was smiling I knew she was trying not to laugh.**

"**First hunt?"**

"**How'd yah guess?" I said putting my hands up.**

"**Well I'm tired so don't bug me." her tone was light. She smiled as she let her eyes close.**

**I didn't say a word. I just watched her dream.**

**When she woke up she already had breakfast that I made for her by her side. She smiled and almost inhaled it. Were they feeding her? After that she belched. The expression on her face was priceless, I wish I had a camera for it. Good thing I had a perfect memory.**

"**Nice." I said, laughing. I don't think I've ever heard a girl burp like that. She was so wired. Well I guess that's what she gets for having a family with more brothers than sisters. Or maybe it was even now.**

**Claire beamed. She leaned up, wincing at the sore marks, and grabbed a brush off of the table. She started to comb her blonde hair, but I yanked the brush from her. She looked up at with eyes that said 'You wanna go?'.**

"**It would be easier if I brushed it." I clarified. She smiled again and turned around. I started brushing Claire's hair when she belched again. I rolled my eyes and started to untangle her messy hair. **

**It looked like it hadn't been washed at all since the accident. It was starting to curl at the edges and it was a little greasy. Knowing she was watching my face I sniffed her hair and pretended that it smelt bad. She punched my arm. It didn't hurt, but it was a good hit for a girl.**

"**I know I really need a shower." then she looked at me again. "Do I smell bad?" she sniffed her hair and her arms.**

**I chuckled. "Claire even if you did I couldn't notice. You always smell good to me." of course I could smell that she hadn't taken a shower in a week, but the sweet smell of her pounding blood over powered everything else.**

"**Yeah, sure." she said, picking up on my lie. Though it wasn't really a lie, but I wasn't going to say anything.**

**When Claire looked at me her face got all red. And man do I mean red. She made a lobster look pale. At first I thought something was wrong so I put my hand up to her forehead. It was warm, but not sick warm. She was blushing. What could Claire be embarrassed about?**

"**What?" I asked. "Is there something in my teeth?" I picked at my mouth and it got the reaction I was hoping for. She laughed but as she looked over me again she got more red. **

**I groaned. "Claire this is killing me. What are you thinking?" what was she so embarrassed about that she would get this red? I couldn't take it anymore.**

"**Never mind. It was stupid." her voice was mumbled as she looked down, trying not to look in my eyes.**

"**Tell me, please?" I breathed, getting closer to her. Her body stiffened at the close contact, but she seemed to want to be near me.**

**I had heard how Bella had always been dazzled by Edward when he did this. I knew I was always dazzled by Claire, so it was my turn to dazzle her.**

**Her heart started to beat faster. Her blood pounded faster, setting her cheeks on fire. She looked up at my eyes and I saw that she was trying to remember how to breathe.**

"**I…can't." her words stumbled out. Claire breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. She opened her mouth and held it there. It looked like she was trying to see how to phrase it.**

"**I was wondering if you wanted to come help me…take a shower."**

**It was my turn to forget how to breathe. Shall I repeat how many times I had thought about Claire that way? Now she was asking me to help her. Not exactly what I thought she was going to say, but I wasn't going to question it.**

"**Sure." it amazed me how my voice was strong. I was afraid it would come out like a squeak. She blushed again as I put my hand to her cheek. Claire leaned in to my palm and relaxed her muscles.**

**I picked her up gently and made sure I wasn't causing her any pain before I walked out of the room. I carried her into the bathroom and put her on her feet. She swayed a bit and I knew she really needed help with this. **

**I watched her undress and I couldn't help myself. I lifted her mouth to mine and kissed her softly. At least it started out that way. She wrapped her arms around my neck as my kisses got hungrier, longer. I picked her up and held her against my bare chest. She felt warm. The way her body molded into mine felt like heaven. The way we felt like we were truly connected made my heart feel like it was going to explode in pure happiness.**

**So much for a shower.**


	9. Chapter 8: Unreal

**8. Unreal**

**I had my arms wrapped around her when I woke up. I felt her breathe in and out, shifting slightly under my touch. She moved her arms and stretched them out in front of her. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her blue eyes seemed to stretch on and on, never ending. Would it be stupid of me to say I could get lost in her eyes? How many guys have tried to pull off that lame saying? Too many to count and I was not about to become one of them.**

**I kissed her forehead. She sighed, putting her lips to mine. Pleasure filled every corner in my body. Nobody had more than I right now. But then I remembered what Edward had done.**

**I jolted out of bed, tripping on the side of the post and even with my fast reflexes I was too dazed to catch myself. I landed flat on my chest, sending vibrations through the floor.**

**Claire giggled, peeking over the side. Her face, no matter how bruised, was still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.**

**I stood up and grabbed her arms. I tore the covers off of her body, searching for anything that wasn't already there. A few bruises that I left last time I hurt her, but other than that nothing was out of place. I sighed and laid my head on the pillow.**

"**What was that about, Jason?" Claire put her head on my chest, twirling her fingers across my skin.**

"**I didn't want to be another monster." I sighed. Then another jolt of panic swept through me. What if she was going to be like Bella? What if something like Renesmee was going to form in her body? What if she didn't survive?**

**I groaned and put my hands on my face, throwing my head back on the pillow. "I shouldn't of done this."**

"**Done what?" Claire asked. She tried to pull my hands away, but not even she was strong enough. I lifted them from my face so I could look at her face.**

"**This, Claire! You're lucky that I didn't hurt you again." she flinched. "What if you get pregnant? What if you don't make it because something like Nessie is going to kill you? God, what was I thinking!" I didn't know why I was shouting. I don't think I could stand it if I killed her this time.**

**She laughed. I couldn't believe she was laughing! This was her life, did she not care? **

**Fact number one in life: never try to understand a girl.**

"**Jason, I don't think you understand." yep she was right. I was clueless at this point. I was just staring at her like a moron. I even felt like one. "Even if I did get pregnant it wouldn't be like Nessie. You're half human. I'm pretty sure I'd be ok. Besides I hate this human crap, I want to be a vampire again." she smiled and closed her eyes.**

**For some reason her words didn't make me feel better.**

"**Besides you don't even have to worry about it…" Claire mumbled, her voice getting distant again.**

"**Why would you say that?"**

"**Because I can't get pregnant, Jason."**

**Her face was sad. The only thing a girl dreamed about in life was growing old and having a family. But she was human now, how could she not be able to have children?**

"**Claire I'm sure-"**

"**No you don't get it." she looked away from me. "Carlisle did some tests. I. Can't. Get. Pregnant."**

**It took a minute for her words to finally sink in.**

**I sucked in air too fast for comfort as I realized something. "I did that." it didn't ask because I knew it was true. I had did something to her to stop it. Jeez, like I needed another reason to hate myself.**

"**No you didn't!" she said quickly, grabbing my face.**

**Whoa, back up a second. I didn't do it?**

"**Jason, I'm just not normal. There's something wrong with me."**

"**There is nothing wrong about you. You're the most beautiful, perfect, and amazing girl I know. And for some reason I can call you mine." I kissed her again, very aware of her body against mine. I shivered.**

"**How about that shower?" I asked after another minute.**

"**Really you're going to let me shower this time?" Claire teased, swinging her legs over the bed. I had to grab her arm to keep her from falling over.**

"**Come on." I knocked the legs out from under her and carried her to the bath room. I grabbed some boxers on the way. It felt weird to not have clothes on. It felt weird to not have a title that I have had my old life.**

**Take that Trevor! I scored before you did! Not that I did that last night as a competition, but there was no way I was ever going to say that out loud.**

"**Why are you smiling?" she asked turning the hot water on.**

"**I was just thinking."**

**She blushed and hopped into the water. I helped her wash her hair and I kept her balance as she scrubbed her body. I grabbed her two towels. She put one around her hair and then one around her body. She leaned against the wall as she watched me put the boxers on. She seemed much stronger because she was able to walk back inside the room without my help.**

**This day was going pretty well, that is until I saw Skylar sitting on the bed. His face was in a scowl. Great. I really didn't want to die now. Not after last night…**

"**Can I talk to Claire alone?" Skylar snapped, his voice sharp. Claire smirked from behind the closet. She was smiling. Obviously she thought the way he spoke to me was funny. Without realized it, I smiled too.**

"**Leave!"**

**I chuckled as I closed the door behind me. I walked down the stairs in nothing but my boxers, but that didn't seem to bother me. I felt incredible, like words couldn't describe it.**

**My smile was so wide, my jaws hurt by the time I grabbed a snack from the kitchen. Edward walked in and nudged me with his elbow.**

"**Have fun?" he asked nonchalantly. I felt like bursting out in laughter at his attempt at a gay voice. I didn't need to say a word to tell him how it was, but then again, I didn't want him in my head. I didn't want him to see. Was there no privacy anymore?**

"**You would know." my voice was meaner than I meant it to be, but he knew why so I didn't have to explain it.**

"**Sorry." he apologized.**

"**S'okay." I said, grabbing my sandwich to sit down.**

"**Why are you in you're boxers?" Trevor asked. I raised an eyebrow at him. No one must have told him. I just smiled and sat down. I knew it would really get to him. Nothing irritated Trevor more than being out of the loop.**

"**That's not fair." he grumbled.**

**Cody leaned over and whispered it in his ear. I need to get me a camera because Trevor's face was so full of shock you would think he was watching someone come back from the dead.**

"**That's not fair." he repeated. Then he said something about force. That was all it took.**

**I shoved Trevor against the wall. I wasn't going to hit him, but he was scared. "Don't you ever say that!" where had this anger come from? I could feel my body shaking. Was this what the pack felt all the time? "I would never be like that piece of crap, **_**Cody**_**." I didn't need to say anything else to show I wasn't talking about my best friend. I dropped Trevor and walked outside.**

**I really had to get this temper thing under control. How did the other wolves do it? How did they just not explode every time they got pissed? Did I need to take a yoga class or something?**

"**Hey Jason!" Seth came striding over. That kid was too happy. Not that I didn't like him, but how did he ever have enough of a temper to be like this? I just couldn't imagine it.**

"**So how are you?"**

"**I was fine up until thirty seconds ago." I told him. I picked up a rock and launched it over the river. I heard it hit a tree about a mile away.**

"**Oh yeah. I heard that." he tried to throw it as far, but he came up about half a mile short. He still had a good arm.**

**I was silent.**

"**I'm guessing you want to be left alone?"**

"**If you don't mind." my words weren't harsh. I said them as nice as I could. I just needed some time to cool down.**

"**Sure, but hey, don't sweat it if you lose your temper. You should have seen Paul the first time he phased. Man he was a mess." Seth shivered, laughing. He walked up inside the house and began telling some story about what Leah had done today.**

"**You don't get it!" I heard Claire yell from the second story. She sounded really frustrated. What had Skylar said to her? Everyone had paused in the front room.**

"**He's using you!" Skylar's voice screamed, over powering Claire.**

**Had I heard him right? How could I be using Claire? Skylar was still upset that I had hurt her. Then now after last night he thinks I'm only using her? That bites. **

"**You don't understand him!"**

"**I don't like him, Claire. I don't like him on bit." the steel in his voice couldn't be missed.**

**I heard a door slam and feet thrumming down the stairs. The door was pushed open as Claire scanned the yard until her eyes landed on me. She breathed a sigh of relief and then Claire came over to me. She grabbed my hand and towed me to the car. She shut the door on the passengers side of Edward's Volvo while I slid onto the other side. Claire threw a bag into the back seat.**

"**Where are we going?" I asked, trying to find a way to calm her down. She must really love me to love a monster like me.**

**She put her hand on mine and her shaking body seemed to still. "I don't care. Just anywhere away from here."**

**I ended up driving to the beach. Claire had opened the windows on the way, letting in the warm, clean air to fill the car. Her scent was around me, sending desire in every wave of her blonde hair. This must have been how Claire had felt around me. Something she wanted, but couldn't have. A burning desire. Interesting how things had flipped. I still didn't see how I was using Claire, but then again I didn't have the mind of a brother.**

**Claire smiled as I parked and grabbed the bag from the back. She pulled out a swim suit. "I knew you would come here." she bounced out of the car, trying too hard to be calm when she shut the door to her changing stall. I could see through her and how tense she really was. Claire was always trying to make me feel better.**

**I pulled on my swimming trunks and eased out of the car. The sun was still touching the horizon. I didn't realize what time it really was. The beach didn't have very many people. Just a couple of guys in fact. Great, just what I needed. College boys.**

**Claire walked around the edge of the path and made her wade over to the soft sand. She motioned with her hand, waving me forward to her. The guys watched her as she dove into the ocean. Her head bobbed up, smiling.**

**Before any of the wise guys could do something stupid I ran and jumped into the water, splashing Claire. After going under I realized I didn't need to breathe. I could stay under forever, but it would draw too much attention if I did.**

**Claire wrapped her arms around me and kissed me softly, pressing her warms lifts against mine. I could even feel the warmth of her body through the freezing water. It wasn't cold to me, but I knew it was to her.**

**After swimming for a few minutes I made her get out. The last thing I wanted was for her to get really sick out here. Then Skylar would have my head. I told Claire to go ask for a towel from them. It was hilarious to watch them trip over each other just to give Claire a towel. She was something to look at.**

**We walked on the sand, swing our hands that were entwined together. She didn't talk for a while. We just watched the sun rise over the water, taking our breath away.**

"**So beautiful." she whispered in awe. I could se her wet hair had started to curl, drying in the warm breeze. I wanted to say that it wasn't as beautiful to look at as her, but I just kept my mouth shut, not wanting to break the silence.**

**When we sat down I had to ask her something. **

"**What was Skylar talking about?"**

**Claire looked over at me, her blue eyes glistening in the sun.**

"**It was-Oh my God!"**

**Her shriek caught me off guard. I looked to see what she was looking at. Claire fell over and landed in my arms. Thinking she was going to throw up I grabbed her hair out of her fair, as tears began to fall down her red cheeks.**

**I couldn't believe what I had just seen.**

**Heyy yalls sorry it took so long to get another chapter done! I mean exams and everything. But I also have to ask you guys a question. Do you think I should stay as Jason or go back to writing with Claire? Cause I'm having fun either way.. : ] kate**


	10. Chapter 9: Death

**9. Death**

**I couldn't **_**breathe**_**.**

**The world seemed to spin around me, taking me down with it. It dragged me deeper through the depths of the earth, drowning me in my own blood. I didn't even fight it as it pulled me under, taking me away from this life.**

**I knew I was still alive though. Jason was holding me up, pulling my hair away from my face. I was too disgusted to even puke, all I could do was cry.**

_**Cry.**_

**I wasn't used to such emotion. I never had to hide it before because I never had it. As a vampire I couldn't cry, not in the literal sense anyway. I was strong, I was fearless. Now I was just weak. Now I was just human.**

_**Sam.**_

**I wouldn't dare to look at her mangled wolf body again. Her white fur was covered in blood, still bleeding. The bones were out of place and some were even sticking out. I couldn't look away fast enough to get it out of my head. How I wished I didn't have to remember this.**

**I felt my stomach heaving, and I heard my heart pounding, but I couldn't breathe. I couldn't find my lungs. I felt my heart slow and my pulse die out. Was I dying?**

**At that moment I felt a rush of air flow through my throat, filling my lungs with sweet oxygen. I hadn't realized how lightheaded I felt, but maybe that was just from seeing Sam dead.**

**The sad part of it was that I knew she was dead.**

**I just didn't want to believe it.**

**I knew she could never be able to defeat Cody. She knew it was going to be a suicide attempt, but she did it for me. She did it for Jason. But how did she get out here?**

**I looked over her body, not wanting to go through those painful spasms again and looked at the bloody prints in the sand.**

**She walked here.**

**Sam was alive when she walked here.**

**How had she escaped Cody?**

**I wiped the tears off my face and managed to walk over to her last paw print before I collapsed again. Then the thought came into my mind.**

**Could she still be alive?**

**I thought of the blood still pouring from her body. Maybe she was still there.**

**My first instinct was to pour life into her, to save her from the death she was in, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't get a hold of the life around me. I couldn't mold it or shape it, I couldn't feel it swirling around me, sensitive to my every nerve.**

**But I could feel death.**

**I knew it was there. Sam couldn't be alive because I **_**felt**_** it. I wasn't life anymore. I could feel the death. I could grasp it, I could hold it. I could wrap it around something, taking away its very breath. Maybe Cody didn't give me both.**

**Maybe he gave me life.**

**I was always weird when I was human a long time ago. I preferred the dark, I preferred the cemetery. My brother would worry about me going there alone, but I never felt any harm. I felt safe there, I felt alive.**

**Or maybe the death around me made me feel my own life, made me feel alive. Was there any difference?**

**Of course there was.**

**It was strange. Normally someone would shy away from knowing they were death. But I didn't. I **_**welcomed**_** it. Maybe it was who I was. Maybe I was some sort of demon, waiting for death to carry me away.**

**I sounded Emo.**

**I looked back at Jason, who was trembling. I could feel his body radiate his remorse. To feel his sorrow for the loss of life. For some reason, I felt happy to be surrounded by death.**

**I sounded Emo again. I shook the thought from my head and walked carefully over to him. I couldn't feel his life, but I knew he was there because I couldn't feel his death.**

"**I…"**

**Jason couldn't even speak. I put my arm on his warm body, suddenly having a chill roll down my spine. I could feel him.**

**He was here. He was somewhere, but I didn't know who. Who was here? Who could I feel?**

**I whipped my head around, searching for the figure, but I found none.**

**I looked closer at Sam. Her body didn't sicken me anymore. Sure, I felt bad and I wanted her back, she was my sister after all, but what was on her body made me think.**

**There was something wedged in between her ribs, sticking out. I walked closer, not wanting to get too near to smell the blood that was still spraying out.**

**It was a stake?**

**It was. The round, wooden stake was unmistakable. It was shoved through her heart. Now why would she have one of them in her? Something pulled at my mind, but I couldn't think straight. But I knew one thing.**

**Cody didn't kill her.**

"**Yeah we'll be here. I'll see you soon, Taylor." I heard his phone snap. Odd. I didn't even hear him talking before. I wonder if Alive saw anything. But she wouldn't. She couldn't see werewolves.**

**When Skylar showed up, he looked at Jason weird. I didn't know why. Maybe because he was still angry at him. Sometimes I just wished I could slap that look off his face once and for all.**

**Taylor was in agony on the ground, whispering her words to Sam, as if she could hear her. Skylar looked pained for the loss of his sister, but he didn't say a word. He picked at the stake and threw it into the rocks. Skylar started digging.**

**Jason and Taylor helped. They had it done in no time. Even though it was a story deep. They carefully placed Sam inside and filled the hole back up. that's why they dug it so deep. They wouldn't want anyone finding it or stumbling across it.**

**I could feel someone watching me, but when I turned to the trees at the edge of the sand, I saw no one. Maybe it was just my imagination. But I couldn't lie well enough to myself. The chill down my spine was back.**

**It took hours for everyone to calm down. Syd felt horrible, but not as bad as Edward. At first I couldn't understand why.**

"**I already took a sister away from you. It hurts to see how badly I have scarred my other family." Edward explained when I was alone.**

**I could feel my stomach rumble, but I didn't feel like eating. Her death just dawned on me that my family was down to five, not including me. I felt hollow, but it felt different. It felt weird.**

**It took days to finally get back to some normalness.**

**I kissed Jason when I woke up this morning, realizing I hadn't kissed him in days. I wonder how bad I had hurt him.**

**When I looked in the mirror I saw that the bruises were fading away. It was a subtle yellow in some spot, still a little blue in others, but they didn't hurt as bad anymore. I could move my arms, but they still felt a little stiff. I still didn't understand how I had healed so quickly, but I didn't feel like questioning it today.**

**Jason took my hand as we walked to the car. We decided it was best to go home, even though Esme said we could stay as long as we liked. I still wanted to go home.**

**After a last check from Carlisle of course. He stopped me on the way and just did I quick check up. He didn't find anything wrong with me so he let me go, with a strange look in his eyes. I didn't have time to ask what he was thinking before Skylar dragged my to the car. He Didn't look normal either.**

**I guessed it had to do with Sam's death. **

**It felt weird to say she was really dead. I always thought she was, but now it was just so…so final. For some reason I thought she would walk home with a smile on her face and be ready to eat some lunch. How could I be so stupid? I just prolonged the suffering, making it worse for me later.**

**But I wasn't the only one who had to cope at least. **

**I landed in the bed and buried my face in the pillows. I looked around my room and saw the dent in the wall. It brought me back to the other night. It took all my power to stay in the present, to not go back and feel pain. At least not now. Maybe when I was strong enough to handle it.**

**Skylar made me lunch while everyone else stayed locked in their rooms. Jason was allowed in mine right now. Something about Skylar was making Jason keep his distance from me. He stayed in an extra room. He never came in mine anymore. When he kissed me it didn't feel the same, like he was trying to find a way to stay away from me. Like he was trying to give me space. **

**But I didn't want space.**

**I tried to curl up with him in his new room, but as soon as he heard Skylar walking up the stairs he let go of me and faced away from me and the door. Skylar would walk me out and Jason wouldn't tell me to have sweet dreams like he always did.**

**After a while I just stopped trying.**

**I didn't know what he was doing, but maybe he wasn't giving me space. Maybe he wanted space from me. Had I done something wrong? I tried to think back to the day before we found Sam. It was normal. I had woken up from the best night of my life and took a shower. I walked back in with Jason to find Skylar and he told Jason to leave. Then Skylar talked to me about stuff.**

**What had Jason heard?**

**Skylar wasn't mad about Jason. Hell, we didn't even talk about Jason. We talked about somebody else. But I didn't want to think about him right now. I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted Jason to hold me, to tell me everything was going to be ok. I wanted him to kiss me like he always did, I wanted to see him smile. I wanted him to look at me like he loved me.**

**My breath caught.**

**Did Jason love me anymore?**

**Of course he did, didn't he? He always told me that he did, until we found Sam. He always held me, until we found Sam. He was everything I had wanted, until we found Sam. For some reason finding Sam had put a wedge between us. Now I wanted to know **_**why**_**.**

**I walked downstairs, grabbing Jason's hand. I yanked him off the couch and dragged him outside. He followed me down the road until we were downtown. At that point he pulled back on me, making my arm jerk.**

**Jason planted his feet and I looked at his dark, Hazel eyes. His jaw was set and for some reason this picture of him frightened me a little. I was so used to Jason being warm and happy. Now he looked dead, he looked like it anyway. He didn't look like he had life. He didn't look human.**

"**What?"**

**His voice was like a slap to my face. The way he spoke to me made my eyes water, but the tears didn't spill over, I held them back.**

**He let go of my hand and just stared at my face.**

**Then I saw it.**

**Jason was never a good liar. I could see his guarded eyes, but even with him trying to hold back he showed me everything. He didn't like doing this, but he had a good reason to. And I was going to hear it.**

**I looked around the crowd of people, trying to buy some time. I saw couples and families walking around, enjoying the semi sunny day. I watched teens throw footballs around and skate on the side walk.**

**Then I saw him.**

**I knew who he was. And this was the one who I could feel by Sam. He was looking at me. No, he was looking at Jason with that glint in his eyes.**

"**Jason promise you'll stay right here."**

**His illusion fell from his face. My Jason was back.**

"**Why?" the hurt in his voice was clearly there, I just couldn't hear it.**

"**Just promise me." I repeated.**

**I strode over to the blonde guy who was looking at us. He looked at me like he though he had seen me before, but he couldn't place it. The sad part is that he did know me. He looked at me in shock.**

**I always had a great right hook. Cody had always said I could do some real damage to people.**

**I cringed internally at his name, but I didn't show it on my face. Like I needed to portray anymore weakness on my face. So instead I lashed out in anger, which I was already full of.**

"**What did you do!" I yelled. And before he had time to answer, I punched Christopher square in the jaw.**


	11. Chapter 11: Enemies

**10. Enemies**

**Christopher's face recoiled from the hit, blood dripping from his nose.**

_**Strange**_**, I thought. I could have swore I had hit a little lower. Well, I didn't have the amazing accuracy that I had two weeks ago.**

**He looked at me with those brown eyes, warm chocolate eyes, but I didn't have time to get lost in them like I did last time. He hadn't changed since the last time I had seen him. He still towered over me and his blonde hair was still straight. He looked tanner and his face was red, but that was just from the smeared blood.**

"**Who **_**are**_** you?" he asked, bewildered. He spat blood on the ground and looked around. The people around us had frozen. Everyone seemed to have our attention. He grabbed my arm and towed me into the shadows. I tried to fight his grip, but he was stronger than me.**

**When Christopher looked down at me again he seemed to relax. Of course I didn't look dangerous. I had blue eyes and blonde hair that went along with little girls having tea parties. Good thing I wasn't one of those wimps.**

**No offense.**

"**Don't you know who I am?" I retorted. Shouldn't he know me? He had hunted me for months after all. Trying to get another vampire to die. How many had he actually be successful with? Certainly not me. I was still here wasn't I?**

"**What's going on?" Jason jogged over here, putting his arm around my waist protectively. I was alarmed by the way Christopher looked at him. I could see his fingers twitched and I could almost read his mind. He was thinking how many ways he could kill him.**

"**Christopher, down here!" I snapped my fingers in his face, bringing his eyes down to mine once again. He put his fingers through his hair, still glaring.**

"**You know him?" Jason asked, trying to get **_**my**_** attention.**

"**I thought I told you to stay over there."**

**Jason chuckled. "That was until I saw you punch him, Claire." he leaned down by my ear. "Nice hook by the way." his warm breath made my skin tickle.**

**Christopher was awake then when Jason said my name. "Claire as in Claire Emerson?" I looked back at him as he studied my face. I watched his count the features that he recognized and then the ones that he didn't.**

**I nodded.**

"**But you're human." he gasped, taking my hand, feeling my pulse. I jerked my hand back to my side.**

"**Yes I am."**

"**But you were a vampire the last time…" Christopher didn't finish.**

"**You hunted me?" I finished for him.**

**Jason was in silence, still trying to figure out what was going on. I pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and looked around.**

"**Wait. Hunted you?" Jason growled, pushing me behind him.**

"**Oh relax, vamp. I wouldn't touch a human. No matter how many times I have tried to kill her. You were the one that got away…besides that other blonde haired one. Cody is it?" he shrugged his shoulders**

"**He's a vampire hunter." I clarified. "You ever watch Buffy the vampire slayer? Well picture him as Buffy and then us and the much cooler vampires. Well you I guess, sort of."**

**Jason stilled seem confused, but he stiffened, ready to fight. I tried to push myself between them, but Jason wouldn't let me. I watched Christopher who also seemed ready to strike. He was always a snake. He had the fastest reflexes I had ever seen in a human. Maybe that's why he was so good at his job.**

"**Now before we end up on Jerry Springer," I said, trying to get between them again. This time I was able to slide past Jason and put my hand on each of their chests. It felt awkward to put it on Christopher's, but I had a job to do. "Jason is not a full vampire, Christopher. He's past human so you can't touch him either."**

**Christopher rolled his eyes, but he relaxed. He let out the gust of air he had been holding. Jason did the same, but he was much slower.**

"**He's human. How can he kill vampires?" Jason questioned, pulling my behind him. Man I wish he would stop moving me.**

"**Oh not just vampires. I kill werewolves and witches and all of that good stuff." Christopher sounded like he was talking about the comics on the newspaper. **

"**Wait a minute. Witches exist?"**

"**Oh yah. But not Harry Potter. Sorry to disappoint you."**

**I rolled my eyes. Of course the ones who were supposed to be enemies would end up talking about Harry Potter. Besides I was sure Harry existed. I mean we exist don't we? Maybe he just wasn't looking at the right place.**

"**He's real." I muttered, they ignored me, still talking about creatures that Jason hadn't realized was walking around with him.**

"**So back to the original question." Jason said, clearing his throat. "How did you manage to kill all of those creatures?"**

"**Well not with stakes or silver bullets if that's what you're asking." Christopher said. He paused and watched a girl walk down the sidewalk. When she turned to look at him I saw her hiss and walk faster.**

**Great. People were starting to know him.**

"**I have just had so much experience. My dad passed on his knowledge and I will to my son…or daughter. When I have one."**

"**Your married?" I blurted out.**

**Christopher looked at me again, seeming to forget I was here. "No I haven't. Don't sound so surprised." when he looked at me he seemed to get the look that said he wished I would marry him, but Jason saw it too.**

"**Mine." he snarled.**

**Christopher put his hands up in defeat. "You're a lucky man. Even as a vampire she was something else." he winked at me. "Nicest one I had ever met. She could have killed me many times, but for some reason she didn't." he shrugged his shoulders again. I was starting to wonder if it was a habit. "I think it was just my good looks." he said smoothly, ruining the moment.**

"**What did you do to Sam?" I asked, punching him in the arm again.**

"**Jeez, would you stop doing that?"**

"**What did you do to Sam?" I asked again.**

"**Who's Sam?" he asked, running his shoulder, trying to not show his real pain.**

"**The white wolf. I felt you there so don't try to lie to me." I narrowed my eyes at him. The grin was gone as he looked away quickly.**

"**It's complicated." he said quietly. He rubbed his hands together. I could see his starting to sweat.**

"**Then explain."**

**Yes I was being harsh, but he did something. I knew he did. He even said he hunted werewolves and stuff. But what did Sam do? But the more important question was how she got away form Cody.**

"**At first when I saw that Cody guy I started to hunt him. Then I saw him killing that wolf. I could hear it's-her screams. When he saw me he smiled, blood glinting off of his teeth and then he ran off.**

"**When I made it over to her I knew I couldn't save her. I saw how much pain she was in so I pulled out a stake. I shoved it in her heart and then she died. I didn't like watching her suffer." his voice got softer at the end.**

"**How cliché." I said, waving my arm.**

"**I always had a soft side for dogs. No offense." he added when he saw my face. He stepped back. How did everybody know was going to hit them? Maybe it was just the guys.**

"**Nice to know." Jason said, his voice hard. There was something in his voice. Something that made the hair on the back of my neck rise. It was a threat, it was something harsh.**

**I had thought the tension had ceased between both of them, but maybe it was biding its time, waiting to blow. Maybe it just never went away and now Jason was acting on it.**

"**At least I'm not some kind of freak or monster." Christopher said, picking up on Jason's words.**

"**At least I can kill you."**

"**I'd like to see you try." Christopher said, motioning for Jason to bring it on. Jason edged closer, putting his hands up. When he barred his teeth I could see them getting larger. Now he looked like a vampire in the movies.**

"**Besides I bet you did that to her. I mean **_**I**_** couldn't do that to her if I was with her. You probably didn't care."**

**Now Christopher had crossed the line. Not mine, but Jason's. I could almost see his eyes go wide and his nostrils flare as he took in a large breath.**

"**Don't say that, you worthless human!" **

**Christopher stiffened and leaned back on his right leg, ready to lunge. I don't think Jason understood the danger he was in. the only reason I was still alive when he hunted me was because of my gift and my age. I knew enough to avoid these kinds of humans. **

"**Bring it on, hybrid." and the words that poured out of Christopher's mouth wasn't a compliment.**

"**Go to hell, blondie." Jason hissed. Christopher almost laughed.**

"**I'll meet you there, mutt."**

**Jason threw the first punch, which Christopher avoided somehow. He ducked under his arm and twisted it, trying to break it. Jason kicked Christopher's side, sending him to the ground.**

"**Stop it!" I yelled. Both of them ignored me.**

**Jason put a hand on his throat and cut off Christopher's breathing. I could hear his strangled gasps for breath. I saw him trying to break Jason's grip, but as his attempts got weaker, his face got more red. His eyes started to bug out and water as his veins bulged.**

**That's when I felt it.**

**I could feel his death. Not his life. I could feel the death creeping up on him and dragging him to the ground. I could hear his heart beats stutter as he took in his last breaths. I heard his pulse slow and his tries getting more feeble. Again this sensation felt right. I wanted it to go away, but at the same time I wanted it to never stop. Talk about your own worst enemy. My own body was tearing my apart. **

**Then Jason let go. As Christopher began to breathe, the feeling of death went away. It slipped from my very finger tips as I said goodbye. I knew it would be back. I could feel it waiting for my own death, but it didn't frighten me. This was my life now, and I was going to die sooner or later.**

**I was hoping later.**

"**This isn't over." Christopher said, getting up slowly.**

"**If I ever see you again, I will kill you. Stay away from us." Jason took my arm and he wiped something off of my face. That was when I realized I was crying a bit. It hurt to see Jason as the predator. It seemed like he had changed so much. Was he still the same?**

"**You still have to tell me why you were acting weird." I told him, walking away, leaving Christopher in the shadows. **

**Well wasn't this day interesting?**

**But for some odd reason I knew this wasn't going to be the last time we saw him.**

**I wish I wasn't right about it either.**


	12. Chapter 11: The Beginning

**11. The Beginning**

**I sat down on the bench after I refused to walk any further. Jason just smirked and went to get me a ham and cheese sub. I watched as he walked away. I glanced around at the girls around here, who had his eyes on him as well. One tried to say hi to him, but he just smiled and grabbed our sandwiches. He sat down beside me and the girl huffed and turned to walk away. I laughed quietly.**

"**What's funny?" Jason asked, his mouth already full of meatballs, cheese, and bread. I smiled at the way he seemed so normal. It was like he wasn't even part of a mythical creature, it was like he was just human. It would easier that way wouldn't it?**

**I shrugged my shoulders and took a bite out of my sub. It tasted amazing, but I wonder what it would taste like if I was still a vampire. I was sure that I would even shy away from the smell of it, but if somehow Jason had persuaded me I'm sure it would taste like crap. Yes, I could eat it, but it wouldn't have any pleasure what so ever in it.**

"**I don't like the way he looked at you." Jason said suddenly. His face took on a hard mask, yet he still looked so beautiful. I wonder if that's how I looked to Jason some short time ago.**

"**Who?" I said, setting my food down. I looked into his mossy green eyes, seeming to get lost. His beauty still took my breath away. He was gorgeous before, but every plane and angle had been amplified. His eyes were greener, his muscles were bigger, his smile was wider, his walk was more graceful, and his voice always sounded like bells. It was nothing like Alice's or Skylar's, but it was pretty darn close. His honey blonde hair glowed in the sun, seeming to have it's own personal sun or halo. Maybe this was how he looked to me. Maybe he will always be my angel.**

**It seemed hard to think that this was the man who had hurt me. That he was the one who caused my face to bruise and my bones to break. I still seemed afraid of him, but it was different now. I could see every flash of pain that entered his eyes when he looked at my face. Skylar told me how he puked when he first saw me, how he just wanted to die for what he had done, but he had grown so much. He wasn't just a boy anymore. Jason was becoming a man.**

"**Christopher." he said the name like a curse. I understood how he felt. I'd say he had a little green monster in his eyes, but it would be too ironic and this wasn't funny to him. It wasn't funny to me either. I knew how he felt because I know what it's like to be jealous. When I saw Jason with that girl I wanted to do the same thing Jason had done with Christopher, I wanted her to die. But I learned better. It wouldn't have made a difference. The pain would always be there. Of course I wasn't a newborn either. Jason had the temper of a wolf and the strength of a newborn vampire. The most deadly combination.**

**That's what made Pryor Wolves almost invincible.**

"**I hadn't notice." I lied, trying to get him to calm down. I didn't like it when he was angry over me. It made me feel like it was my fault. He glanced over at me and smiled, the anger gone.**

"**You're a rotten liar now."**

**I looked down, my face getting read, and took another bite of the sandwich. Jason took my hand and kissed it softly. When he looked up at me, I saw the seriousness in his eyes. It wasn't stressed, but more like something deep inside him, glowing like a warm flame. It reminded me of that night. The night where everything seemed to disappear, everything but us. How we fit together, how we loved each other. Everything came back as one, and the way he smiled, Jason seemed to be thinking the same thing.**

"**Tell me more about Pryor Wolves, love." he asked, his voice sounded rough even though it was like velvet.**

**I didn't know where to start. I didn't have the mind I had weeks ago and I couldn't pull it up out of the blue. It took forever to even realize what he was in the first place.**

"**Your kind is hard to kill." Jason laughed as I use the words 'his kind' like we were both different. In a way we were, but I get what he was saying. "You heal quickly, like a normal wolf does and the only thing that can pierce your skin is a vampire or a werewolf. You can bleed, but I bet you figured that out when Edward and Jacob beat the crap out of you." he smiled gently, trying to hide the pain. I switched to something else quickly.**

"**You don't have to breathe and you can't bleed to death."**

"**So how do I die?" he asked, looking at me again.**

"**Someone would have to rip your heart out and burn it." I told him simply. He raised his eyebrows and it seemed like there were so many questions on his mind so I just guessed at one.**

"**I've seen things." I told him, squeezing his hand. He threw his head back and laughed.**

"**I can only imagine." he whispered. The his eyes snapped over to me. "Can you tell me something?"**

"**What?" I asked cautiously. The corners of my mouth were lifted slightly as I waited for him to answer. His smile was something to be scared about.**

"**Can you tell me how vampires started?"**

**The question blew me away.**

**No one had asked me that before, and I had been asked about a lot of things. My time line went back ages and so did my answers. I could answer his question, but it would take a while. It would also take somewhere where we could be alone.**

"**Can you?" he repeated. I glanced around. No. There were too many people here. We had to be somewhere more isolated than this. It something difficult to explain and we had to be alone. No one could hear, or they would have to die. No exceptions.**

"**Follow me." I ordered. Stood up and walked with him. I wasn't rushed and I wasn't angry. I was in no hurry to get there, but yet there was nothing holding me back. It just seemed like I was going to another destination, just another turning point in my life. **

**Jason put his arm around my waist and held me tight. He smiled as he took me other hand. I felt him walk with pride as I led him down the street. Jason looked around at every boy coming our way. I watched as their eyes trailed down to me with jealousy. Was I really that beautiful? I didn't feel like it. I was only human after all.**

**When we walked farther away from the other people, Jason pulled me up on his back and ran. It felt nice. It felt like nothing I have ever felt before. I mean I liked running too, but it was nice to know exactly how Jason felt when I was the one holding him. He just ran in silence and kissed my hand every once in a while, like he was making sure this wasn't a dream. I kissed his warm cheek and noticed how it felt weird.**

**It was like something very warm, but very icy at the same time. Like cold hands not being able to get warm, but Jason felt comfortable. I wonder if he even noticed it.**

**Jason set me down by a park. I sat underneath the tree as he leaned down over me. "This ok?"**

**I looked around. It seemed deserted. There was nothing here, not even animals. Nothing but the breeze to keep us company. **

"**Perfect."**

**He sat down next to e and crossed his legs. It turned to the side and put my head in his lap. He put his arm under my head to make me more comfortable and smiled.**

"**It seems right for me to be able to take care of you than the other way around." Jason said. He brushed the hair out of my face and waited. When I realized he was waiting for me to begin I cleared my throat.**

"**It all started back thousands of years ago." I said, starting the long tale. It seemed fitting to give it this kind of introduction. I was more real than anybody would ever know, but I made it sound like it never even happened. Sometimes I wondered if it did myself.**

"**Back when it was the beginning of the world. You see Demons came and mated with human women, when they had sons and daughters, they were called Nephilim. They were Demon children, destroying everything they could. They killed for blood, but they were different from us now. They could bleed and they had hearts."**

"**What happened?" Jason asked, surprised by what actually took place back then.**

"**God sent a flood." I stated. "He did it to destroy all of the evil on the earth, but it didn't destroy my kind. Yes we died, but only the human part in us." I stopped. "This part is so hard to explain."**

"**Then do it the best way you can, love." Jason urged. He seemed so intent on the story, like a girl reading a really good book.**

"**You see the human inside us died, but the body didn't. We became dead creatures, but not everyone of them survived. In fact only one did." my voice got too soft at the end.**

"**Cody." I told him when he didn't guess.**

**Jason nodded and looked around for a moment. The breeze shifted so I could smell his scent. Jason's hair blew in the soft wind and some leaves fell to the ground.**

"**Tell me about you."**

**I looked at him with another kind of shocked expression. Tell me about him? Hadn't I already done that? He knew a lot about me, what more was there, but inside I already knew what he was asking before he clarified.**

"**When you were human. Tell me about your life." Jason lifted my hand and put it back down on my lap while I thought about how to begin.**

"**I was born in Paris, but it wasn't called that. In fact no one knows that the old town I came from even existed." I looked back into my mind and saw the little old town I grew up in. from the little huts made of rock and wood-if you were lucky-and then some made of mud. Those are the kinds of houses I lived in. then the village stretched out to the river that wasn't there anymore.**

"**I lived with my mom and dad, and then with my sister Lindsay and my brother Lukas, which of whom you already know." I saw Jason's face change as I said his name. As soon as I saw the anger that I saw the night he beat me, I cringed into the ground. I regretted even bringing it up, afraid that he would react the same way, and no one could save me this time.**

**I felt his arms grab my shoulders as he pulled me up, softly. I leaned into his chest and breathed. How stupid was I to even think Jason could do that again? Jason loved me.**

**I decided to go on quickly so we didn't start talking about it.**

"**I grew up with them and by the time I was seventeen I met Cody." it seemed strange to me that I didn't shudder at his name, and as soon as I went on, I figured out why. "When he came over to me I didn't know who he was. I had seen him around, and all of the girls talked about his beauty, but I had never actually been up close to him. He gave me his hand and said 'Hello, my name is Cody Evans. I love you'." his words rang clearly in my mind. The way he first met me, how he already knew he loved me.**

**Jason gritted his teeth, but I knew by his eyes that he wanted to me to go on. I had to get to the hating part quickly before I get Jason upset again.**

"**Cody took me for a walk and told me how he had been watching me. He told me how he loved me and wanted to be with me, but my parents wouldn't hear of it." I paused for a moment, trying to remember it right. If I was still a vampire, maybe the details would me so much more clear. "You see, Cody was a loner. He didn't have family, and there were many rumors going around about him, but I didn't believe one of them." I should have. I should have guessed he was a trouble maker, but it was too late. The past is the past.**

"**Rumors like?" Jason prompted.**

**Jason was getting in a very touchy subject for me, but for some reason I felt bound to tell him everything. Like I owed him my life story, like I owed to tell him the beginning of everything to me. Or the end in some cases.**

"**Like he used girls like me. Others said he was a murderer. Like I said, I didn't believe one word of it." oh, but how I wish I had.**

"**But the way he treated me!" I sighed, remembering when everything was right. "It was like I was a queen. He would bring me exotic food and take me on wonderful dates, like going to see a waterfall." my mind trailed back into the memories I so badly wanted to forget. "He bought me everything I could ever want. Cody even gave stuff to my sister and brother, but Lukas refused everything. I never really did understand why though…until now that is."**

**I stopped talking for a moment, and closed my eyes. I leaned up from Jason's arms and looked around again. The wind was blowing much harder now so I could smell the flowers on the other side of the park. Leaves intertwined with petals, creating the most perfect romantic scene.**

**It would be if it wasn't for what we were talking.**

"**Cody would love to comb my hair and some nights when he snuck in my tiny room, he would hum a lullaby to me, just waiting for me to sleep. He was always awake the next morning and I thought it was just because the kind of person her was.**

"**From every touch and kiss I started the believe that the rumors others had told me were just myths. They were jealous of what we had and they only wanted to destroy it. Too bad the destruction was already on its way." the movie of memories that was playing behind my eyes came to a complete halt.**

"**It had been a little over a year since we first met and we were still in love. He never looked at any other women, he had no need to. He had me. Cody would always tell me he would marry me some day and that he would call me his wife." I shook it off when I first heard him say that, but I knew he was telling the truth. I saw it in his eyes that he truly loved me, or maybe I was just a sucker for blonde hair. Maybe that's how I am now, but Jason is a totally different story.**

"**It seems that I loved him more when I was human." my voice drifted off as I ended. I didn't want to talk about Cody anymore. Jason already knew the rest of the story. I thought it would literally kill me to relive the worst day of my life. But in some ways I guess it was the best. Without that night I would have never seen the snake hiding behind the violet eyes he wore. Without that night I wouldn't be here with Jason. Grant it, I would still be a vampire, just not with Jason. The fact hit me square in the chest and took my breath away.**

**I would still be with Cody.**

**I would have never saved Skylar or any of the rest of my family. They would all be dead and I would still be living. I would have never met Sam, though I'm pretty sure if it weren't for me she would still be alive. Edward wouldn't have killed Sierra because I wouldn't have been there to create her in the first place. None of my family would know each other. But I would know Cody.**

**I would still be with him. I would still love him. Yes, I'm sure if he told me I would freak out and tell him he was lying, but he had never lied to me before. Then he would change me. Jason would be dead if I hadn't met him. Well, if I hadn't met him I wouldn't have put him in danger in the first place. Maybe it would have been better if I had just loved Cody.**

**It took me a second to realize Jason wasn't moving.**

**I turned to see his face. It was like he was trying to cage in an animal. He wasn't shaking, but I could see the anger he was trying desperately not to show. His eyes were bulging out of his sockets and his nostrils were flared. The way his neck was so tight I knew he wasn't breathing. His skin looked a bit more flushed, but I'm sure that was just the blood inside his body heating under the fury. What did I say?**

**Everything.**

**I had said everything. I told him and I shouldn't have. I should have known that it wasn't a good idea and that it would hurt him, but for some reason I couldn't stop myself from the words flowing out of my mouth.**

**So why did I say them?**

**Of course to please Jason. He wanted me to tell him, but I wonder if he truly understood the pain he was going to inflict on himself by listening. The worst part was that I was the one holding the knife. I just sat there and sliced open any old wound and tore it to shreds. I picked and ripped off old scabs and memories and threw them in his face. I had told him everything he refused to believe. I was so stupid.**

**The words that came out of his mouth next made me second guess everything I had ever thought before this conversation.**

"**You love him."**

**heyy sorry if I confused you on the chapter numbers. This is really chapter 11! : ]**


	13. Chapter 12: Hidden

12. Hidden

I wanted to tell him that it wasn't the truth. I wanted to tell him that I only love him, but even as I opened my mouth to say it, my voice couldn't be found.

Jason sat, waiting for an answer.

I had to lie. I couldn't believe what was going through my mind. The lie I have been protecting. I've been lying about it so much I had actually believed it. The lie that started thousands of years ago became clear in my head.

I had to lie. If Jason knew the truth, it would kill him. Of course I began believing my own lie-what a liar I turned out to be-so what could I do? I didn't even remember when I was lying. I thought for sure it was the truth. If Jason knew…he would kill me. I lied to myself for years about this, but I couldn't start telling the truth now. I have to hide it from him.

"Jason, you have to understand! It wasn't just some one night fling with Cody. It progressed over a year." I tried to defend myself, trying not to get to the subject where I would have to lie through my teeth.

"You didn't answer my question." he simply said, unhappy with my own answer. What was I to tell him? I couldn't destroy him like that. I truly loved Jason, but some things are meant to be hidden. This being one of them.

"I was human, Jason. I could fall for his lies much more easily than I could when I was a vampire."

Jason glared. "Answer the question, Claire." he said raising his voice. I stood up and backed away a few yards from him. I couldn't think like this. Jason's eyes following me with each step I took; how was I going to lie to him? I had to. It was the only way.

"Why are you questioning me?" I shot back. How dare he ask about my love for him. How dare he think I was in love with someone else, even if it wasn't my fault. But I didn't love Cody. Right?

I glared back at him, narrowing my eyes.

It hurt so bad to see him like this, knowing it was my fault. I knew I shouldn't have told him this story, but what was he really asking? I loved Jason more than anything, but there was something there.

"Jason, I already told you that I don't!" I lied, hoping he wouldn't catch on. In truth I didn't love him, but there were strings attached to that statement. I hoped he wouldn't notice the difference.

He searched my eyes and it hurt worse to know the he distrusted me. Besides shouldn't I be the one who was mad at him?

"Fine."

My anger flared in that one little word.

"Like you haven't done anything to be ashamed of!" I said, yelling louder. I saw him wince at my words, but at this point I hoped it hurt him. "Like how you kissed that slut and I'm sure if I hadn't of been there any sooner it would have trailed on to something far more serious! Like how you beat me because of a little fight that meant nothing! Do you remember that?" I asked. Then I pulled down a sleeve of my shirt, exposing the black bruise that was still there. "What about this, Jason? Do you remember that?"

It was unfair to do this, but I had to. Jason just didn't understand how if I told him what was going through my mind at this moment, he wouldn't love me anymore.

He looked back at me with anger as well after he wiped off the hurt. "Oh yeah? What about my mom? Remember her? You killed her right?" he scoffed, his voice mocking.

What was going on? One minute we were laughing, the next were screaming at each other.

I could see it hurt Jason to bring it up, but that didn't stop him from going on. "What about Cody? Remember what you did with him?"

I cringed. "That's not fair Jason." I yelled, fighting the tears that wanted to roll down my eyes. "That wasn't my fault." there was the lie again, but I was so used to saying it that I didn't realize I had actually lied.

Jason rolled his eyes.

"What about all the lives you ended because of the monster you are." as he said them, I saw his eyes grow wide from shock. I knew he regretted them. He back tracked quickly. "Claire, I…I didn't mean to…" but I was already running.

Jason could have easily caught me, but I didn't hear him trying to follow. I looked back quickly to see him sitting on the ground with his head in his lap. I turned around and pushed my legs faster. I tried to think of the race with Edward, I tried to be that fast again, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. But I could settle with this.

I ran through the trees only to realize that I was in the woods. I was going to get lost in here, running like this, but I didn't care. I wanted to get lost. I wanted to leave.

I wanted to die.

But that wasn't going to happen. After I ran a good three miles I sat against a tree and tried to think about what just happened. How was I going to solve this? I wanted to think by telling the truth, but that would only make things worse.

I thought about how hurt Jason's face was. He knew something was going on, but he didn't know what and he had no way to guess. This was a secret I kept very well. A secret I forgot I even had, but now it brought itself back up and I have to fight with every ounce of my power to keep it contained. I had to work harder around Edward and Syd. I had to keep a safe distance from this thought if I was ever around Alice or Jasper. Any distress about the future would only give myself away more than I already had. I would have to try even harder around Skylar, who knew me better than anyone in the world.

My mind trailed back to Jason. What was he doing right now? Was he still in the park? What was he thinking about? What I was hiding of course, but how was he handling it? I never tried to hide something from Jason before, other than my vampire secret, but this was just something I had to keep to myself. It was better that way.

This is why I refused to touch Aro's hand. He would know every little detail about it and then my life would be destroyed. Every ounce of credit I had would vanish before my eyes and no one would trust me again. Well I'm not sure if Jason even trusted me _now_.

What was wrong with me?

It started to drizzle. The rain fell into my head, soaking my hair. It was only light for a few minutes, then thunder and lightening came with it. The rain fell hard and the wind blew against me, hurting my face. But I didn't care. I just sat there and took all of it head on. I didn't move and I didn't cry. There were no tears to cry with anyway. It hurt too bad.

I shouldn't even be feeling sorry for myself. I brought all of this on. I provoked Jason, making him angry, it was my fault.

Was I ever supposed to be in love and it work out right?

I sighed as I knew the answer. Probably not, but that was the fun of love right? Not knowing if it was going to last. Not knowing if you were meant to be. Not to be mean, but I didn't feel like putting up with fates crap right now. I just wish I knew who I was supposed to love so I wouldn't hurt anyone else.

Yeah, like it would be that simple.

I felt the cold rain pelt my face as I shivered. I squinted my eyes so I could see the sun set. It seemed like I had only been here for a few minutes, when in reality I had been here for hours. Was Jason looking for me? Was I alone? How would I find my way back if he didn't find me? My body wanted to panic, but for some reason I couldn't. I still thought about love.

Jason was my everything. I couldn't live without him. The way his hair bounced when he ran. The way his smile made me smile, even when I didn't want to. Then there was Cody. My love life was like tug-of-war. It hurt so much to hold on, but for some odd reason, I can't let go. Jason pulled me this way while Cody pulled me the other way, ripping me in two.

As the sun went under the horizon the rain started to get even colder. I pulled my knees against my chest and tried to stay warm. I looked at the full moon coming through the smoky clouds and it was still as beautiful as ever. I looked at my hands and saw that they were white. I could see every vein on my arm. It was like having neon signs pulsing through the limbs of my body. I was sure I looked like hell. The wind whipping through my hair, the rain drenching my clothes, the mud and leaves clinging to my skin. I probably looked dead.

Sometimes I wish I was.

Did I really want death to capture me at this point? How many people will I hurt if I just give up and let go? What would happen to my Jason? My family has lost so much already. What would it do to them when they loose another-if they loose another? I wasn't ready to give up just yet.

Another burst of wind came at me. I clung to the tree, hoping it would warm me up. Was this how it felt to freeze to death? Maybe I would have no choice in the matter if I was to live or not. Maybe this was my time. I had already cheated death so much. But I didn't want to die. I wanted Jason to be here and love me. I wanted it so bad I could feel his arms around me. I could feel his warmth radiate around me. It felt so real.

It took me a moment to realize that Jason actually had his arms around me. I heard his steady breathing, but it sounded rougher. It sounded like he had been crying. He wrapped his legs around me and heat spread around my waist. Jason didn't talk, but I could feel his apology just as well as the heat. I pressed my icy lips to his shoulder and felt him shiver. I pressed my lips to his and smiled. This felt like home. Right?

Then I floated into unconsciousness…

I dreamed about Jason. I felt him next to me as he leaned in for a kiss. His lips were warm and soft, but hungry and rough at the same time. I molded into him, pressing my body to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to find his curly hair. It was straight. I leaned away from him to see-

I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. I flashed my eyes open to see I was in my room at my house. The covers swirled around me and the dent in the wall was all I could see at first.

Jason burst into the room with a look that showed me he was ready for a fight. When got out of his half crouch and took two bounds to sit next to me. He cupped my face with hands and then he pulled me into him. I buried my head in his shirt and took in the sweet smell of him. Something I could breathe every second of the day and not ever get used to it.

I looked up to see Skylar come in, also ready for a fight. When he came in Jason dropped his hands from me and walked out of the room. He was too fast so I couldn't make him stay. Why was he acting this way?

I sighed as Skylar watched Jason leave. He had the weirdest look in his face. Like he was trying to figure out the same thing. Skylar looked back at me and left the room too. I shook my head and swung my legs over the bed to stand up. Without anyone to catch me this time, I fell on the hard floor. I whimpered as I landed on the bruised shoulder that still hadn't healed yet.

In fact I still didn't know how I had healed in the first place, but I wasn't going to question it.

I pushed up with my hands and got up on my feet. I was shocked that no one rushed in to help me, but maybe I wasn't that important anymore. I struggled to walk down the stairs, but when I made it I didn't feel like eating anymore. I sat on the couch and I noticed the room was deserted. I could hear the hushed whispers coming from the kitchen.

"Alice said we don't have much time." I heard Angel talking, her words rushed.

"I still don't understand what she even saw, Angel." Cody's voice was strained.

No one spoke. I heard glass shatter as someone threw it against the wall. There was a few grunts and a few thuds. I walked closer to the kitchen. I hoped they were so intent on their conversation to notice me, and I was right. I peered into it slowly and saw Skylar restraining Jason against the wall by the window. Jason looked like he was in pain, but something in my gut told me it wasn't from the grip Skylar had on him. Something that would cause Jason so much pain it looked like he was on fire. Something that had to do with me. I listened harder.

"Jason, stop. You'll let Claire hear." Skylar's voice was low, and they still must have not noticed that I was there. I saw Jason struggle some more and then his face fell.

"But it can't be true." Jason moaned. The sound made me want to claw out my own ears. It was like an animal in pain, trying to fight it.

Angel and Cody wrapped their arms around him and Nick stood by the edge of the wall, his face blank. Trevor must still be asleep and I could hear Syd and Ben whispering barely from upstairs. She must be telling him what they were talking about. I fought the urge to yell at them to tell me what they were saying. What was so horrible that Jason was in so much pain? What was going to happen to me?

"I'm sorry Jason, but it is. Cody is going to kill Claire." Skylar stepped out of the kitchen only to meet my wide eyes. When Jason followed and saw me I could have sworn he was already burning alive.

And I was going to burn with him.


	14. Chapter 13: Decision

_**13. Decision **_

"_**When?" the words came out of my mouth. I looked from Angel, to Jason, to Skylar. They each looked surprised to see me, like I wasn't even supposed to know.**_

"_**What? You were just going to hide it from me? Like I wasn't stupid enough to figure it out somehow?"**_

_**Jason stepped forward, but I just stepped back. His expression looked hurt. Yeah, well good for him. I felt betrayed. My own family was going to keep secrets from me. Wait. Wasn't I already doing that? Shoot. I blocked my mind from Syd. I could feel her trying to push through, but if Edward couldn't, neither could she.**_

_**When Syd came down her face looked more than flustered. Ben just followed her with a puzzled look. Too bad he didn't know that it was me that Syd was mad at.**_

"_**Claire you know we wouldn't do that?" Angel emphasized. Her face looked so sweet. It was hard to grimace at her, but I did. She looked down and bit her lip, grabbing Nick's arm. Nick was glaring at me in a way when I met his eyes. That's funny. I don't think I've ever seen him mad at me before.**_

"_**Do I?" I spat. "Just because I'm human doesn't mean I can't see through your lies, Angel. I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid." okay, clearly that didn't make much sense, but they seemed to understand me.**_

"_**I just didn't want to worry you, love. I don't need Cody to cause you any more pain than he already has." I could tell when Jason spoke that he was still suspicious, but it seemed that no one else caught on.**_

_**Jason narrowed his eyes at my red face and strode over to grab my hand. "I'm going to talk to her." he said flatly and carried me up the stairs. He set me gently on the bed, closed the door and sat next to me. "Okay, talk."**_

"_**What do you mean?"**_

_**Jason sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What's going on?"**_

"_**It should be more like the other way around, Jason. You**_** tell **_**me**_** what's going on. What did Alice see?" I peered around his head so I could see his eyes.**

"**I'm not going to let him hurt you, Claire. We got off track somehow, but I'll fix it. I'm not going to lose you this time." his words were hard and he looked at me. I could feel how serious he really was. I put my hand on his knee.**

"**Don't you mean were going to fix it?" I added. He cracked a smile and held my hand, but he looked away. His smile faded a bit.**

"**Alice said she saw some one else helping him. She saw Christopher." it looked like he was about to say more but he just snarled and his two front teeth became long and fierce. I wonder if this is where the vampire legends came form. It wouldn't surprise me. Humans were very creative in their stories. But I guess I'm one of them now.**

"**Wouldn't it just be easier if you turned me back?" I asked. He turned to me again and shook his head.**

"**Already tried."**

"**When?" I asked, shocked.**

**He smiled sheepishly. "Before you even woke up. It just didn't work."**

"**Try now." I growled. Or tried to at least.**

**Jason chuckled and I relaxed a bit. "How about we just talk, love? Without fighting…or throwing punches." he gestured to the bruise on the collar bone. He frowned as he grazed my skin with his fingers.**

"**Jason…"**

"**You know I haven't really apologized for that." Jason's voice was barely above a whisper. "You don't know how much it hurt me."**

"**Yeah. Skylar told me how you hurled when you first saw me."**

**He cracked a smile. "It hurt me to have to know that I'm just like that jack-ass, Cody."**

**I shook my head. "You're not. You're so much better."**

**Jason sighed. He looked up at me with small smile and tried to hide the pain again. I smiled wider, hoping it would make him laugh in return. He did.**

"**So what was the moon like?"**

"**Excuse me?" Jason said, pulling his eyes brows together. He took my hand and squeezed it softly.**

"**Well you're part werewolf. I just thought something would happen." I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess not."**

**I leaned into Jason as he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed the small of my back. I jumped up and ran to my closet. I took my wet shirt off and ignored a whistle from Jason. I pulled out a silky top from Victoria's Secret and slid it over my body. Then I grabbed the bottoms to it and went to sit back down.**

**Jason just laughed and shook his head. "Silly girl." he kissed me.**

**I leaned away from him and put my back on the head board of my bed. Jason leaned next to me and just sat there. For a moment the silence was just filled with our breathing and slight chuckles when the silence grew awkward. After a few minutes Jason would kiss me and then pull away, but I knew what he was thinking. He was still a guy after all.**

**A question popped inside my head. "Why were you avoiding me when Skylar came into the room?"**

**I thought he would deny it, but he just sat there. I looked over to see if he was still awake and saw that his eyes were closed. It looked like he was thinking. I put my hand in his honey curled blonde hair and twirled it in my fingers. He opened his eyes and smiled at me, but it didn't last long.**

"**I, uh, over heard you and Skylar talking."**

"**Go on."**

"**He said I was using you."**

**My mouth dropped open. Jason heard us? Well he was wrong. Dead wrong. Skylar was talking about Lukas, not Jason. But it made sense for him to jump to conclusions, but for him to not talk to me about it? Man we could have solved this ages ago.**

"**Jason, you've got it all wrong. We were talking about Lukas." Jason's eyes flashed over to me for a second then they returned to the wall. His lips pulled up into a smile and he breathed a sigh of relief.**

"**So I'm not the only one."**

**I smacked him.**

"**What?" he turned to me, surprised.**

"**What is it that makes you two feel that way? Even Jacob said there was something off about him, but Edward didn't find anything strange about him. Or Syd." I added at the end. I pulled Jason's face over so he would look at me.**

"**There's just something about him. I don't know, Claire…something just doesn't fell right about him." he shrugged like this was no big deal, but this was my brother we were talking about. Then I said it.**

"**Is it because he's black?" I asked him for the second time. I hoped he wouldn't over react like the last time, but I didn't know what else to act. Besides this was my life.**

**Jason turned to me like he was in pain. He must have been thinking the same thing. But when he looked at his hands and kept breathing normally, we both relaxed.**

"**I'm not racist, and neither is Skylar. I feel things, Claire. Things that I've never felt before. Stronger love for you," he cupped my face in his hands, "And knowing when someone is hiding something." he looked at me again with the same suspicion in his eyes, but I looked innocent enough. Besides we were talking about him.**

"**I guess everyone has their opinion." I sighed in defeat. Something in Jason's voice made me want to believe, but Lukas was my blood. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt too.**

"**So what else do you want to talk about?" Jason asked, taking my hand again. He leaned back again.**

"**What happened to us?"**

"**I don't know. I think it's me actually. I've changed so much."**

"**Your right, Jason. It's because you're a werewolf. That's why our relationship is strained." I teased, but Jason didn't smile. "You're not kidding." I realized.**

"**It was easier when I was human." Jason looked away from me and stared at the wall again. He kept my hand.**

**I sighed. We needed to solve this. Jason needed to understand that this was no where near his fault. It was always me. He was just too good for me. No matter where we went, I always dragged him down with me. I was so wrong for him. I always have been and I always will be.**

**How was I ever going to tell him this? Not my secret of course, but explain to him that I just brought my bad luck with me where ever I went. He didn't need to suffer along with me, but it's not his fault.**

"**Well you're stuck with me so get over it. Unless…well, you don't want to deal with me anymore." part of me wanted him to just leave. It would be better for both of us, but the other part wanted to slap myself for even thinking about it. I didn't deserve him, but maybe that's why were supposed to be together. We need each other as equals to survive. Yes. That sounded about right.**

"**Claire, I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth. Even if it meant the end of the road tomorrow, or dying from saving you. I love you and you're not going to get rid of me that easily." he smiled and teased, but he meant every word. I felt like crying of happiness, but I decided it would be better to kiss him instead.**

"**Just to tell you," Jason whispered in my ear, "That smile of yours really turns me on." I smiled and kissed him harder.**

**We made love for the second time, but it always felt like the first.**

**A few hours later I stretched and loosened up. I felt Jason sigh as I slid off of his chest.**

"**Not so fast." he grabbed me quickly and kissed me gently this time. I laughed breathlessly, surrounded in pure bliss. My life felt like heaven.**

**There was alight rap on the door and it cracked open. Skylar peeked in and smiled a bit. "Hey."**

"**Hello." Jason said lightly. I could feel there was no tension between Jason and him any more. Not that Skylar had the tension in the first place. At least Jason didn't feel like splitting.**

"**Glad you two made up."**

"**Me too." Jason said it in a way that made me smack him again. At least he enjoyed himself. In fact I beamed and blushed at the same time. Jason laughed and kissed my neck, making a low moan come out of my throat. It took all my will to not kiss him again.**

"**Hey that's still my sister." Skylar warned, no acid in his tone. He was just trying to be funny.**

**Jason winked at me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Skylar's smiling, but yet grossed out face.**

**I shrugged my shoulders. "Hey ain't my fault I'm so talented."**

**Skylar groaned. "Ew, Claire, gross." Skylar slammed the door and Jason busted out laughing. I laughed too and threw my arms around him.**

"**So are we back together again?" Jason asked, tilting his head.**

"**We were never apart." I said, pulling face closer as I entangled my hands in his hair.**

"**You know what I mean."**

**I rolled my eyes again. "Yeah I guess I do."**

**He smiled wide and looked at me funny.**

"**What?" I asked, pushing away from him to see what was wrong. I checked over my body, rubbed me teeth, and the only ting wrong with me was my messy hair, but that was beyond my fault. I looked back at him with so many questions forming in my head.**

"**You're so beautiful." he whispered. I blushed again. "You smell so good." he breathed in and it sounded like he was in a trance. I started to back away, alarmed, but when I looked at Jason again, I saw that he meant no harm.**

"**I'm not anymore." I said.**

"**In my world, you are."**

"**You must not have much selection there." I told Jason, kissing him softly again. We just sat there and kissed for a while. His arms went down my back and when I thought we were going to repeat what happened, he pulled away and smiled.**

"**When are you going to realize that you are so much more than you think?" he pulled my closer and his breath made me dizzy. I couldn't find my lungs, but I started to breathe before I could panic.**

**I placed my hands on his chest. "When did you grow up? You know, become so smart?"**

**Jason snorted.**

"**You know what I mean."**

**Jason smiled and held my tighter. I never wanted him to let go. "When you survive the grip of a sadistic vampire you learn things. Life's short, and if I'm with you…well I'm not going to waste any time."**

**I nodded and sank back on my pillow. Jason leaned over me and smiled. I could still smell his breath and it seemed like I was going to get high off of it.**

"**Claire?"**

"**Hmm?" I think I was falling asleep. I felt so groggy.**

"**I'm going to marry you soon."**

**I snapped my eyes wide open. That was the last thing I expected to hear form Jason. Yes, I knew he loved me, but I didn't expect him to talk about this. Until later that is.**

"**How soon?"**

**He winked at me and laid beside me. "How about September 21st****?" he asked and sighed happily. I smiled internally. Jason wanted to be with me in as little as a month. He wanted to have some claim to me.**

"**Sounds perfect to me. The sooner the better." for some reason my hands went to my stomach. I shook off the weird feeling and smiled again.**

**I bet Cody wasn't too happy with this. Well he can suck it up.**


	15. Chapter 14: Switched

14. Switched

It didn't take too long to get the preparations together. I figured out that Bella and Alice had already started the wedding before Jason even told me the date. Alice and her visions. Thankfully I didn't have to do anything but get the dress and make sure Jason doesn't see me. Easy enough.

The next thing was talking to Carlisle. I was hoping I could pull out my old college degree from two years ago and work with him at the hospital. It made good pay and that way I could pay them back for all they are spending on this wedding.

"You don't even have to worry about it, Claire." Carlisle told me, taking my diploma. "Sure you can work with me, but you keep the money. Besides you're family." Carlisle winked at me as I headed out the door.

Alice had me in a dress that she had designed. She spoke with Edward and Syd so she knew what I liked. She didn't dare ask me. "I want it to be a surprise" she said.

When I opened my eyes to see it I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was _stunning_.

It accented every curve on my body, giving me a graceful look when ever I moved. It was lacy at the top and strapless. It came around my shoulders and down my arms; the pattern was so intricate I could tell it was hand made. From my waist down it was pure silk. It stretched down to my ankles, just high enough so I wouldn't scuff it on the floor when I walked. It was beyond perfection.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked, taking Bella's arm. Bella looked over me with utter joy. She must have liked what she saw. Though the dress looked amazing, the girl that was in it was just normal.

"Stop that." Edward snapped, kindly. I shot him a look and glanced back ay my reflection.

"What's not to love?" I told her, smiling and twirling my body so could see every angle.

Alice squeaked and clasped her hands together. She told Edward to leave the room when she started to undress me. When I put my jeans back on and pulled my t-shirt over my head, I walked back downstairs. Skylar was the first tog greet me.

"Have fun?"

"Well it wasn't horrible." I rolled my eyes and walked to the kitchen. I was famished. My stomach gurgled as I pulled out a few slices of ham and whipped cream. Trevor got me hooked on this new recipe we both made on accident.

After filling my stomach I went to sit on the couch next to Taylor. Her smile seemed a little smug, but at first I didn't understand why. Taylor turned to look at me and her smile was dazzling. It hurt to look at her, but I knew Jason didn't care how she looked.

"I can't see anyone, but you." Jason would always say to me.

I sighed. "Taylor, would you like to be my maid of honor?"

Taylor laughed and nodded her head. She murmured something under her breath that sounded like "I knew it".

I looked around trying to find Jason. And well everybody else. After I ate Skylar seemed to disappear. When Taylor looked at me again she had a knowing smile this time.

"Spill."

"They went hunting. Jason wanted to make sure nothing went wrong." she shrugged her shoulders. I was bout to ask why she hadn't gone on the little trip, but when I saw her pure golden eyes I remembered that she went with Jacob and Leah yesterday.

Speaking of Jacob, he opened the front door to my house with a suitcase. "Where can I put my stuff?" I laughed and pointed up stairs.

"Just pick an empty room." I told him. I watched him leap up the steps and hear the closing thud of a door. All of the Cullen's were staying at a Hotel-after fighting with me about it-and the pack was staying here. As long as they could get along with my family. Even Billy and Charlie had stopped by.

"Everyone marries early." Charlie said every time he saw me and Bella together.

I was eating more and more and sometimes Jason would tease me of getting fat…and then both Edward and Skylar would slap him. I would just snicker and try not to spit out my food.

When Jason's father came by to help and he told me that his only son was going to get married at his catholic church. It seemed like his father didn't trust me anymore, but I couldn't worry about that. His Uncle Kyle came by and offered to be his best man, but Skylar had already filled that role.

So with Jason by my side we went to the church for permission to marry. It seemed silly to ask knowing we were going to whether or not he would marry us, but its what his father wanted and Jason wasn't going to start a fight about it.

When we walked in it was something to stare at. I hadn't been in a church even when I was human earlier. After it…well they were more superstitious of vampires so I knew it would cause something.

Every window was made into art, but I've known that forever. Every church had something like it. I glanced at the rows of pews that seemed to go on forever and the candles on the sides of the concrete walls. By them there were some windows and only one was cracked open. Gargoyles were sitting up higher in the church and I heard the booming of the bells in the tower. This was everything I expected a catholic church to be.

When walked done the long aisle and we finally made it to the Pastor, or Father as many put it. He was reading the bible and then he turned around at the sound of our approach. When he saw Jason his eyes lit up.

"Jason!" the Pastor exclaimed. "It's been so long. How are you?"

"I'm fine, sir." Jason nodded taking my hand. That's when the Pastor finally looked at me.

"And who is the beautiful young lady?"

"This is my fiancée." Jason spoke with reverence and it was hard to miss how his voice was filled with passion. It made me blush and duck my head.

The Pastor nodded. "How nice…Derek I need your assistance!" the Pastor called. At first I expected some kind of monk to walk out of the dim passageway, but a young man came in, about my age. He was handsome too. He had slick black hair, but it didn't look greasy or like he had too much gel. His eyes were a warm brown and he towered over Jason, even from far away.

Derek had a nice smile that made his eyes crinkle a bit, but it made him look even better, but nothing compared to Jason.

"Yeah, dad?" Derek said, no disrespect in his tone.

"You remember Jason don't you?" after his dad said those words I could see Jason's eyes go wide.

"Derek? As in Derek Carver?"

I looked up at Jason. "You know him?" why shouldn't he? He did go to this church after all. I think at least.

"Hey, Jason." Derek smiled and then looked at me. "I always knew you would end up with a beautiful girl." Derek winked at me.

"I got lucky." Jason squeezed my hand and smiled at me. Suddenly there was a breeze from the open window blowing from behind us and into Derek.

Derek's face changed suddenly. His barred his teeth and his eyes narrowed. He lunged, but not for Jason. He knocked me out of the way and then sprang up lightly on his feet. Jason crouched too, snarling.

"I should have known." Derek's voice was hard. His face was angry.

The Pastor didn't seem surprised, but instead he held up a cross in front of him.

I busted out laughing.

All of the eyes went to me, looking at me like I was crazy.

"You can't really think those work of vampires do you?" I asked in near hysterics.

"Claire!" Jason said, looking at me like I had lost my mind. Maybe I had, but this was just too funny.

"It doesn't matter, Jason. He's a werewolf. He already knows. He just can't figure out what you are." my voice calmed down, but the smile was still etched on my face.

"What?" Derek asked, slowing coming up from his crouch. Jason did the same.

So I explained the whole story. It didn't matter. They were part of the secret too. It's not like I was blowing the rule. Jason's voice popped in now and then, clearing some of the details, but otherwise he was silent. He still looked like he was ready to fight Derek.

"Sorry." Derek apologized.

Jason said his thanks and then he asked if he would marry us. Derek still looked like he was about to gag, but his father nodded and sent us on our way.

"That was fun." I said.

"Yeah, but I don't like the way he looked at you." Jason put his arm around my waist.

If I had a dime for every time I heard him say that…

Weeks passed all too quickly. We made plans and the preparations were finished. All I had to do was relax

But how could I relax with the deadline charging at me so quickly? Not that I didn't want to marry Jason, I just had a sinking feeling that something was going to go wrong.

Alice kept assuring me that nothing could go wrong, but she couldn't even prove it with the wolves' involved.

Call me crazy, but that didn't make me feel better.

A few more days passed and it was the night before the wedding. Jason had already left with the guys, who were throwing him a bachelor party. Great. I hated strip clubs. Edward told me it was going to be fine, but I didn't believe him for some reason. I guess I still had some hate left in my body from him killing Sierra. Or maybe I was just in a bad mood. Even better.

I groaned and threw myself onto my pillow. Alice had offered to give me a party as well, but I denied it as quickly as possible, without hurting her feelings of course.

When it was finally a decent time to sleep, I found it hard to close my eyes. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was bout to change. It made me feel weak, but at the same time it made me feel strong. I just felt different. And the feeling in my stomach never went away, even in my dreams…

I woke up startled. I remember something had frightened me in my dream, but as hard as I try, I couldn't remember it.

I leaned up to find Alice sitting on my bed. Her face was pulled into a wide smile and she was literally bouncing. She grabbed my hand as soon as my head was clearing and dragged me to the bathroom. Bella was in there too, as well as Rosalie and Taylor.

"No Jason hates too much make-up. He likes her naturally." Taylor kept saying. Bella tugged at my hair and began to do something with it instead of letting it lie flat. I felt heat so I knew she must have been curling it. Good luck to her. My hair never would curl right.

It seemed like forever before they were finished playing dress up with me. They carefully placed the wedding gown over my head and left me in their alone while they got dressed. It gave me some time to think.

I wasn't going to be an Emerson after today. I was going to be a Greenfield and belong to Jason forever. Well if I can ever be a vampire again. I looked in the mirror and realized I looked like normal, except for the hair and dress of course. My deep blue eyes still were the most dominate thing about me, Bella had put some eye shadow on to prove it.

I kept moving, waiting for the beautiful girl in the mirror to disappear, and turn vampire again. But it didn't. This was me now.

"You look wonderful." came a voice from the door. My face snapped up to see Lukas in a tux and a smile plastered on his face. It took my a moment to figure out he was really here to see me. But I still had to ask.

"Why are you here?"

He snorted. "To give you away of course. Dad wouldn't come, but I wanted to be the one to do it."

Some warmth flooded through my veins. Lukas wanted to be here for me. That meant he must have trusted Jason to take care of me. Either that or he didn't want to hurt me by saying he didn't approve.

"Let's go." Lukas said, grabbing my arm. I walked down the aisle to the familiar music and breathed a big breath of relief. There standing at the end of the red carpet and flowers was Jason. He beamed like nothing I have ever seen. He looked like a god, and he was all mine.

When I reached him and grabbed his hand, it seemed like time moved very quickly. Before we knew it we were saying our vows. I kissed him and the Pastor declared us man and wife.

Then began my forever as Mrs. Jason Greenfield.

_**10 minutes earlier…**_

Cody Evans walked down the hallway to get to where Jason was getting ready for his big day. He was disgusted with him for trying to take his Claire, but he would deal with him soon enough. He had dreamed of doing this, but now was the chance to act. To destroy the threat Jason posed.

It wasn't much of one either, but as long as Jason was in the picture, Claire would love him. Some how Cody had to make her realize she didn't really love Jason. In time, he supposed. If she was stubborn, he would _make_ her love her.

What was the difference as long as he got what he wanted?

He always did.

Cody waited for Skylar to leave the room and once the coast was clear he entered. When Jason saw him Cody thought he would phase right there, but something stopped him.

Cody looked into Jason's eyes. He almost felt sorry for him. He was only a child. He had no idea what love was. Jason didn't deserve Claire the way Cody did. Cody was right for her. He had always known that.

"Leave now." Jason said, anger vibrating form his figure. Cody simply laughed. Who was this mere boy trying to win a fight against someone like him? He looked like a child going up against an adult. Pity it had to end like this.

Cody had to do this quickly, time was almost up. He lunged for Jason pressed his cold hands to Jason's face. Jason tried to struggle, but it was no use against him. When Cody dropped Jason he looked in the mirror. He looked exactly like Jason. Just as planned. When he looked back at the boy sitting on the floor, he looked like Cody. Now the tables had turned and the roles have been switched.

Lukas should be meeting Claire right about now so he had to move fast. But that wasn't a problem for him. He glanced at Jason for a final good bye before he sent him away.

"Time to meet my new wife." Cody sounded just like Jason was he walked out to take him place in Jason's. Cody shrugged on his black jacket to the tux and moved just like Jason. One more look in the mirror and then he would be off to marry his true love.

And the best part was that Claire would never know.


	16. Chapter 15: changed

15. Changed

I was in complete bliss.

I opened my eyes and looked at Jason. He was watching me, a smile etched on his face. I smiled in return and laid my head in his warm chest. This was a great honey moon.

Jason had taken me to France. It hadn't surprised me, but it was still so nice. He took me to go see fireworks and then to a ride on a boat. Jason kept telling me how beautiful I looked under the moon, but I just blushed and ducked my head like normal.

We spent last night eating dinner at a fancy restaurant and when we returned to the house he rented…well it was a busy night.

I couldn't help but feel that something was different, but how could I doubt what was right here? This was Jason Greenfield: the man I loved. Who had more than I?

"Good morning." Jason said, rubbing circles on my back. I shivered from his semi cold touch and breathed in and out.

I stretched and sat up, letting the covers fall from my body. I extended my arms and raise them above my head and then I swung my legs over the side. I felt Jason's arms graze my side, but I was already off. I grabbed a gown and pulled it over myself, then walked to the kitchen to eat.

I started making bacon and watched Jason walk in, rubbing his eyes. He stepped over to me and put his arms around my waist. He pulled me away from the food.

"The man should be the one cooking." Jason told me when I looked at him weird. He winked and I went to sit in the chair, just watching him. Every now and then he would curse from the grease popping on his skin. I shouldn't be laughing at him, but I couldn't help myself.

"Maybe you should wear a shirt next time." I grinned and grabbed a t-shirt from the floor. I handed it to him, but he denied it.

"I like my shirt off." He said. I rolled my eyes and sat back down. About 10 minutes later he set a plate full of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of me. I shoved it down, unaware of the burning on my tongue.

"The foods not going anywhere, love."

Something about the way he said 'love' made me shiver. The odd thing was that the shiver wasn't pleasant. Who did it remind me of? Jason interrupted me before I could think very far.

"Claire?" he asked again, still smiling.

I grinned in return, the odd feeling shaken, but it hadn't gone away. "I'm just so hungry. I don't know why."

Jason did the dishes while I took a shower.

When I stepped out and went in the room to change Jason was already sitting there, waiting for me. He hand some of my clothes in his hands and threw them to me. I changed in to them and when I was done Jason was already dragging me to a new place to see.

He held every door open and kept being a complete gentleman. Not that it was bad, but Jason wasn't normally like this. Yes he did everything for me, but the way he did it now was different, I just couldn't place my finger on it.

_You're paranoid_, a voice in my head told me. I smiled in response. Of course I was. How could anything be wrong? My life was finally perfect. Right?

Jason took me to see the aquarium.

"I know how you love fish." He said. It was funny because I never told him that I loved fish. In fact I never told him a lot of things he seemed to know about me. Maybe Skylar told him.

After Paris's little version of Sea World, Jason took me by the ocean. He let me see dolphins and watch the sun set. It was amazing how time flew when we sat in the sand. It only felt like seconds, let alone minutes. How could it have turned in to hours?

When I was sleepy, Jason carried me back to the house and laid me in bed. He hummed until I drifted to sleep…

This pattern continued for weeks. Jason would take me to some of my favorite spots and I didn't tell him anything about them. I was starting to wonder, but I let it go after a while. Why question it? Maybe Jason knew more about me than I thought.

When we returned home, we had a nice welcome back party. It was short though. The others had to go eat-hunting-and I was starving. Jason made me dinner again. I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to make my own food again.

Lukas walked in.

At first I thought Jason would explode into a wolf, but he seemed relaxed enough. Too relaxed actually, but maybe this was because of the fight. It made sense in a way.

"Hey, sis." Lukas sat down and eyed the food with disfavor. He crinkled his nose and laughed. Jason even joined in.

Months passed and everything seemed normal for once. Jason would take me on dates and kiss me every day. He would always hold my hand, but it always felt off somehow.

Then things started to get weird.

Jason and Lukas would be playing cards, or going hunting. Jason and Lukas would be watching The Mentalist- AKA Simon Baker, who was drop dead gorgeous- or having an arm wrestling match. Jason and Lukas this, Jason and Lukas that. Jason hated Lukas, or he had anyway.

Even Skylar was a little shocked by it. Skylar would never been in the same room with him unless he had to, which entailed me having to be in there. I started spending less time with Jason and more time with Skylar, and at times I would go for days without seeing my husband.

When Jason did come back he would bring flowers or candy, but I always threw it away. Something about it made my stomach turn. It was when I saw Christopher at the house that I realized what was going on.

"What do you mean he's hard to contain?" Jason hissed. I peeked into the room and saw Christopher, the vampire slayer, sitting next to him, comfortable as ever. I was going to walk in, but the next sentence cut me short.

"The boy has been a wolf for a while. He's starting to break through the chains." Christopher whispered. "I can't do much for werewolves."

"He's a Pryor Wolf you idiot. Just poke him with some fire and he'll calm down."

Pryor Wolf? What was Jason talking about?

Something was going on here. I walked away, knowing this wouldn't be the last time I saw him here. I heard the door close and Jason came up to see me.

"Who was that?" I asked innocently.

"No one, love." Jason seemed distant when he looked away. I nodded and looked away too.

The next morning I spent the day with Jacob. We walked down the sidewalk, passing car after car. He bought me cotton candy, even though he ate most of it. I didn't mind, I wasn't hungry anyway.

"What's on your mind, Claire?" Jacob asked, putting his arm around my shoulder. He was so much hotter than Jason.

"What do you mean?"

"We just passed three cute guys and you haven't said one word about them."

I shoved my elbow into his chest, probably giving myself a bruise. "I'm married!" I said, half laughing. How long had it been since I laughed? My mind recalled to the first day of my honey moon. Had it been so long?

"But still. What's eating at you?"

I sighed. "I don't really know. Jason's just been acting weird." I looked at Jacob's startled face. I knew by his look what he was thinking. "No he hasn't hit me, but he's been hanging around Lukas a lot."

Jacob laughed. "That's a bad thing?"

"Jason hates Lukas. Or he did anyway." My voice dropped lower.

Jacob stopped laughing. "You're really worried aren't you?"

I nodded.

"Don't be. He's probably just trying to make it right with Lukas and you. He doesn't want to hurt you again." Jacob's words were so smart.

Jacob made perfect sense. How could I let my mind get carried away so? Jason was just trying to make things right between us. Maybe I was just jealous that Jason had been spending so much time with Lukas. Maybe this was a good thing all along and I hadn't noticed it. Maybe I should be more glad than upset.

I'd have to remember to apologize to Jason later.

"Thanks." I told Jacob. I looked at him and put my hands in his hair. "Hair cut time. I could do it if you want."

Jacob looked alarmed. He pulled away from me and put his hands in his hair that made him almost look gay. I giggled and stepped closer to him.

"Kidding."

Jacob breathed in a sigh of relief. I hit him in the arm again and Jacob led me to a movie store.

"Pick any one you want. Tonight's your night."

I smiled and passed over rows of movies. I passed horror movies and romance. I decided to go with the horror. Jacob needed some excitement. I went with one of the Final Destination movies and Jacob paid for it.

We walked down the street and went back to the Cullen's house. It was empty so I put the DVD in. And I had Jacob screaming before the night was over. I don't know if it was real or if he was just trying to make me relax. I didn't notice that I was even tense until he was yelping like a school girl.

Even though the movie was scary enough I still ended up falling asleep in Jacob's arms.

Dreaming didn't help either.

Even in my dreams I still had the feeling that something was wrong.

I walked through the forest and I followed the howling of a wolf. It sounded like it was in terrible pain. When I reached the black beast I thought it was in pain because of the chain tied around its neck, but something made the hair on my neck stand up.

The wolf snarled and tried to come at me. Well not at me I guess. Because behind me was Jason. The wolf's eyes narrowed directly at Jason, who just smirked. The smile scared me a bit. It wasn't really a smile anyway. It was like Jason had something and he was flaunting it in front of the beast. What exactly, was the question. He put his arm around me, turned my around and away from the wolf. He walked away from me and when he looked at me. Something about his eyes was off. They weren't green. They were the strangest shade of violet.

The wolf was howling in agony as soon as Jason took my away.


	17. Chapter 16: Miracle?

16. Miracle?

The dream didn't end there.

And Jason walked my back on the trail I gotten off of, his posture changed dramatically. It wasn't as calm as before, like he was trying to hide something when I saw the large wolf. Too large for a normal wolf…but Jason didn't let me think much farther.

Jason slammed me into a large Maple tree, hard, sending leaves to shower over us like rain. The bark hurt against my back as I tried to force my way from it, but Jason's iron grip held me there. I looked into his eyes and noticed there were changing colors. They started at a dark, mossy green. Then they formed into a blue green and then a vibrant blue. Once it got there the eyes went violet and then crimson red. When I blinked and looked closer, I saw that they went back to Jason's normal Hazel.

I looked around and saw that the forest had disappeared form around me. The wind blew sharply and sent a wave of dry sand into my eyes. As I scratched them out I heard another sound coming from the drifting wind.

A howl.

It was more like a growl mixed with hissing and snarling, but definitely a howl. I glanced toward the sound and I saw the same black wolf that Jason had dragged me away from. It looked like-

I gasped without making a single noise. The wolf looked just like Jason's form, but then Jason was standing right beside me. How could that be?

I looked back at the wolf as I felt Jason's constricting arms. At first I thought he was protecting me, but then I felt his arms _restraining_ me. It felt weird at first. Like he thought I was going to sprint head long into the wolf that looked so dangerous at this point. But when Jason touched me, the wolf growled louder, showing it's sharp canine teeth.

I took a step back. Or at least I tried to.

Jason wouldn't let me move.

The black beast pressed its ears flat against its skull, looking more angry by the second. I saw it convulse once and then it fell onto its belly. After a few more shudders rippling through its body, it started to look more…human.

After a few seconds the wolf stood up on its hind legs, only it wasn't a wolf anymore. When the boy looked up fear jolted through my limbs.

Cody.

My eyes flew open as I jumped of the small couch. I looked back where I was and saw that I was still lounged on the couch next to Jacob. I saw his snoring with his head leaned back over the head rest. Jeez, he was tall.

I went over to turn the TV off and I looked at the clock. It was about three am. I sighed and decided to sit back on the couch. When I turned around Jacob was watching me.

"Snore too loud?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Bad dream."

He titled his head and patted the couch. I got up, still half asleep and sat next to him. He leaned over and spread his legs out and took me down with him. My back was to his chest as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Comfortable?"

I laughed slightly. "Yeah." in truth Jacob was very warm. It didn't need a blanket and he was soft too. He was something I could cuddle up with and not have to feel bad about it. Jacob was just someone who you could be friends easily with. I could see how Bella could love this boy so much. He certainly was something.

"Want to talk about it?" Jacob shifted slightly. His breath was very warm and I found it harder to sleep.

I yawned, trying to talk at the same time.

"Maybe when you're coherent." he chuckled and wiggled again. I was going to say thanks, but he was already snoring again. I stifled a laugh, hoping I wouldn't wake him up, and I closed my eyes again.

It seemed like it had only been five minutes when I heard someone calling my name.

I cracked one eyes open and saw Jacob was in my face, staring at me. I looked down at my body and noticed that I had moved during my slumber. I was now facing Jacob and it was in a more awkward position.

"Morning." his breath washed over me. Thank god he didn't have morning breath.

I leaned up and Jacob dropped his arms that were still around my waist. I looked around and saw that the house was still empty. They must not be back yet, I guess.

Jacob yawned and stretched his arms. He looked around too. "Bloodsuckers must not be home yet." his voice was nonchalant and when I gapped at him he just winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. The second I stood up I felt my head spin. I suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore. In fact any scent of food made me want to gag. I didn't understand why, but I felt sick. I felt dizzy and I had a major head ache. Jeez was I falling a part at the pieces?

I held up a finger at Jacob and ran to the bath room. I yanked open the lid to the toilet and puked. I saw Jacob rush over with worry written all over his face.

I said, "I'm fine." and leaned over to catch another breath. I wiped my mouth off with a towel and looked in the mirror. I looked at my blood shot eyes and my red face. I pulled my hair up in a pony tail and I just messed with my shirt for a moment, but something I saw made me yank my shirt up more.

I gasped and widened my eyes.

"No…"

I was going to tell Jacob to call Carlisle, but he already had him on the phone.

"Carlisle." Jacob's voice was panicked.

I could hear him on the other end of the phone.

_What Jacob? What happened?_

"Claire," Jacob stopped and tool in a breath. "You need to get here." he looked at my scared expression the added quickly, "And you need tog et here _fast_." Jacob snapped the phone shut and put his arm around me. He lifted me into he warm arms and laid my back on the couch. He put his arm under my head and made sure I had anything I needed.

For the next half hour, every two minutes he would ask me if I needed something. He was making me panic by just watching him pace the room. I was starting to get dizzy.

The door slammed open and Edward was the first one in. he knelt by my side and put his hands on my stomach. He looked shocked at first, but then his face broke out into a breathtaking smile. I didn't get to ask him what before Carlisle came to me, followed by Bella and Alice.

They took me upstairs and Carlisle hooked me up onto some machines. After an hour of tests he too smiled.

"I don't know how, but Claire, it's a miracle." he glanced at Edward who was bouncing next to Bella.

"You're pregnant." Edward's voice was full of awe and wonder, but most of all, happiness. I saw his face when Carlisle told me I couldn't have children and now that I was going to have one, it was like he was going to be a father again. He was my best friend-sorta-what do you expect him to look like?

My face paled and I knew I should be happy. "But why is it showing up now? I mean it's been months since…" I trailed off blushing. "And I thought you said it was impossible for me."

"I was wrong." Carlisle shrugged, still beaming.

Alice squeaked. "Yay! Another one!"

I looked around. "Have you told Skylar?"

Carlisle's face pinched up. "Ah, no. "

I picked up the phone and dialed my brother's number. He picked up after the first ring.

_Hello_? Skylar's voice was on the other end of the phone.

My voice was a little off, scared even. "Skylar," I sniffed. "I need you to come to the Cullen's house."

I didn't need to say any more. _I'll be right there_. The line went dead and I dropped the phone. It didn't even take a minute before Skylar rushed into the house and up into where Carlisle had placed me.

He looked at me and then my stomach. His eyes blinked before he realized that the image wasn't going to disappear.

"You're…" he didn't seem to be able to finish.

I nodded and looked down at my body. So this was the weird feeling I've been having lately. No wonder. All of the eating and sleeping and the restless nights. I was really pregnant.

Wonder hit me at full force.

I was going to have a baby. He was going to look like Jason and have the same name. He would have the same hair and eyes, hopefully. I was going to be a mother. I finally am going to get the very thing Cody had taken from me.

Jason rushed in and saw me on the hospital bed. He flew to my side in an instant and took my hand. "Are you ok?" his head snapped over. "What happened?"

Jason looked back at my smiling face. Now he was just plain confused, but there was something hidden under his features, like he was hiding something. I told him anyway.

"You're going to be a dad." I told him.

I expected him to break out in a smile just like Edward. I thought he would jump up and down like a little kid. I thought he would be happy and glowing and tell me everything was going to be ok.

So his face surprised me.

Jason looked…angry. He frowned instantly and he shook his head. He growled a little but and looked at Carlisle.

His words surprised me.

"Get rid of it."

I gasped as I hands fluttered down to my stomach. I heard Edward growl as well as Esme. _Esme_ growled.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Skylar moved toward me, trying to push Jason out of the way. Bella slipped by him and leaned over my exposed body, snarling as well.

"You heard me. Get rid of _it_. Give her an abortion or what ever, but make sure it's gone. I don't want it." Jason's words hurt, but something about them made me wonder. Jason wanted to give me kids. Why would he suddenly take it back?

The words that came from my mouth surprised even me.

"You're gonna have to kill me if you want to kill my unborn child." I hissed. It hurt to defy Jason, but I couldn't do it anymore. There was no way I would let him get his way this time.

"I don't care what _you_ want. That thing needs to die." his eyes flashed and for a moment I saw some red, but it went away too quickly for me to be sure.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. I didn't understand what was going on, but I knew that Jason wasn't going to kill my baby. It wasn't his call. I narrowed my eyes and locked my jaw.

"Leave." I told him sternly.

"What?" he asked, astounded, yet angry.

"You heard me. Leave. Get out. If you want to kill my child, you're better off dead, Jason."

He glared and after looking at the advancing people, especially Emmett, and turned around.

"Fine." then he left.

I didn't cry no matter how badly I wanted to. I was right and he was wrong. But for some reason I didn't feel sad to see him go. It felt different than last time I watched him leave for a little bit. This boy didn't have my heart. It looks like my body even knew that.

So it left me with one question.

Who really was the boy I married?


	18. Chapter 17: The truth

17. The truth

Edward and Skylar never left my side. If one had to go hunt the other wouldn't move. Edward would grab my hand and give me some medicine if I was in pain, but other than that, he didn't say a word. Skylar would bring me food and help me get around, but I didn't understand why until the first time I stood up.

I was weak.

Not because of the baby, though that was part of it, but because of the stunt with Jason, who I hadn't seen in days. Good riddance.

Bella and Alice would try to cheer me up, but I couldn't even pretend I was happy. Jason was gone and no matter how bad he had hurt me, I missed him. I wanted to see his smile, I wanted to feel his touch and to kiss him over and over. I wanted to see him standing next to me and telling me everything was going to be ok with the baby.

But he never came back. Even with my heart broken, how could is till love him with all the little pieces? After everything he put me through, how could I still ache for his body next to mine?

I sighed. Nothing was ever going to be ok again. Maybe I was just one of those girls who weren't meant for love. Maybe I brought destruction to anyone who decided I may be worth loving. Look what I had done to Jason. He doesn't even want his own son.

'Get rid of it' he told me. But I couldn't. Jason just didn't understand.

After a week without one sighting of Jason, I was able to move around on my own again. I was getting bigger, and how in the world I hadn't noticed the weight I'd been gaining I will never know. Jeez, I make a whole knew meaning to the word blonde.

My child wasn't growing as fast as Renesmee had, but he wasn't going as slow as normal. Carlisle said he was due around November 28th. He just couldn't wait to see another new discovery. And the Cullen's thought their days of excitement were over. Well I guess they never met me.

I sat on the couch and watched some football. I didn't know who was playing, but I knew every play they were going to make. that's what you get when you live with so many brothers.

When Emmett sat down I could see his eyes glancing over to me a lot. Before I lost my temper I decided to take a walk. Without telling anyone. What a great idea. I thought so at the time.

The cool morning air was nice against my skin. I hadn't been outside in a while so it felt refreshing. I took a few more steps and smiled at the crunching sound of the falling leaves. I looked around and then I took off suddenly. I ran as fast as I could, over exerting my muscles a bit. They started to burn after a few minutes of a full out sprint, but I didn't care. It just felt nice to run away. Yeah, like this was going to solve my problems, but still. It felt ok. It even surprised me how fast I could run while carrying a child.

That thought made me slow down. What if I was damaging something while running like this. I had to be more careful. I'm not just taking care of me now. The little _thump_ in my belly confirmed so. I walked slowly, taking in all the sights and sounds.

When I grew tired I sat on a log and breathed in and out. I rested my head against the tree behind and began to think.

Why would Jason act like that? My mind kept repeating that same question. So I starting looking for the answer.

I went back to the honeymoon, where the change had began. It was just little things, nothing to worry about then, but then it grew bigger. Hanging out with Lukas, being best friends. Where was Lukas anyway? He left a while ago, I remembered. Right before Christopher showed up actually. What were they talking about? Something about a wolf giving them trouble. But the harshness in Jason's voice troubled me, then how he lied to me when I asked who it was.

My head skipped back to the dream. How the black wolf seemed to angry at Jason. When it looked at me I saw the pain flashing in his eyes. The pain it couldn't hide…

Then how Jason's eyes had changed after he dragged me away from the wolf. How he had become aggressive. How his eyes were blue and then red. The strangest shade of violet in the end.

Then when the wolf became human. It looked like Cody, but he had green eyes.

I gasped as my mind reeled. The eyes the aggression, the fighting, the wolf, the pain in his eyes…everything made sense in that short few minutes. Everything that I had been missing all along.

There was a noise that sounded like two hands clapping. I turned around slowly and saw Jason walking towards me with a grin on his face. But it wasn't the smile I loved. It fact it was Cody's smile.

"I knew you would figure it out sooner or later." Jason sighed. Well I guess it was Cody, but my human brain just couldn't handle it. "I was hoping it would be later, but now you know." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Why?"

"Because you're supposed to be _mine_, Claire. Not Jason's. You always belonged with me." his eyes grew hard, but they stayed green. Jason reached my side and put his hand on my shoulder.

There was a _whooshing_ sound, but at the same time I could feel it. I felt the wind blow against me, but I could also feel that I was moving. And Jason was coming with me. The breeze stopped and I felt the ground underneath my feet again. Jason let go of me and I fell to my knees. My legs were too weak to hold me.

"And Christopher was just part of your plan?" I glared at him. At first he didn't talk, but he just walked around the room, keeping that same stupid smirk on his face.

"Yes and no, love. You see, he was all for killing Jason, but once he heard you were part of the plan he bailed. About a month ago actually."

I sucked in air way too quickly. But I would worry about the pain later. "You're going to kill me?" I was astounded. After everything he had put me through, saying he loved me, then he was just going to kill me? Just like that?

Jason's body was at my side in an instant. I couldn't even call him Jason anymore. This thing in front of me wasn't Jason.

"Ouch." he said, reading my mind, but something in his voice confused me. It was like his voice was strained, like the power was being drained from him. But that was ridiculous.

"But of course I'm not going to kill you, Claire." his voice and face changed drastically. "I love you. I would never hurt you."

"Then leave me alone with Jason." then I realized something. "Where is Jason?" I hoped he hadn't killed him yet. My chest hurt just thinking about it.

"Claire?" I heard a familiar voice, but it didn't sound like Jason. It sounded like Cody. When I whipped my head around to find the source, I saw Cody bound in chains. I inched away from him when I realized that it wasn't Cody.

"Jason?" I asked, really looking at him this time. The boy had red eyes, but even though the face resembled Cody, it had every feature Jason would have. He had love, hope…and anger. Of course he would.

I crawled toward him and placed my hand on his. I felt a slight spark, showing me this was Jason. This was the boy I loved. The real Jason smiled and kissed me. It felt weird kissing Cody's body, but at the same time it felt like home. It was so confusing. Loving Jason, yet hating the body I was loving him in.

Jason was a vampire. A full vampire, but yet still who he was. That's why he couldn't embrace the vampire part. The human-or werewolf-in him was rejecting the body it had on.

"I missed you." Jason breathed, breaking away from my lips. It was hard to find my voice. All I wanted was to just sit here and kiss Jason, but I knew I wouldn't be able to. Not with Cody breathing down my neck.

"I missed you as well." I wanted to say so much more, but Jason's body dragged me away. There was a snarl coming from Cody's body, but Jason's body just slapped him. God, this was getting confusing.

"No more of that." Jason's body snapped at me when I finally looked at him.

"Bite me."

Jason's body slapped me. I hurt badly. I whimpered in pain as I tried to open my eyes again. There was another blow to my face and a deafening growl coming from Cody's body.

"Stop hurting her!" Cody's body pleaded.

Jason's body laughed and dropped me. My hands fell to my stomach. I felt my child stir inside me, like he was feeling my pain as well. Fire sparked inside me. No one touched my son. Or girl for that matter, but I wanted it to be a boy.

"Don't hurt my child."

When Jason's body looked at me I felt a stab of pain. The face was furious. The other sound I heard was a gasp coming from Cody's body.

"That stupid thing. I hate to think of that idiot growing inside of you."

"That's how I figured it out you know." I told Jason's body. "When you told me to kill, well that couldn't have been Jason. Jason always wanted me to be able to have kids. He wouldn't take it away from me."

Jason's body barred it's teeth and growled. "Then I'll have to take care of it myself."

"Child?"

I looked at Cody's body who stared at me like I had three heads.

I nodded.

"But…I thought…?"

"Carlisle was wrong, Jason. You're gonna be a dad."

His face opened up with pure happiness. That was the reaction I had been hoping for when I thought I already had the real Jason. Better late than never.

"Enough of this touchy touchy crap." Jason's body looked like it was about to gag. Good.

"You can't do this anymore, Cody. I know, and nothing is going to stop me from telling and kicking your ass." I told him, smiling. But he just laughed at me.

"Oh you'll do as I say, love."

My eyes were questioning when I looked at him. "And why would I do that?"

"Because if you don't," Jason's body flashed to where Cody's body was laid, "I'll kill him. And you don't want that do you?"

Ice flooded through my body. He was right. I couldn't risk him killing Jason. It hurt, but I had to lie to my family, again. I had to lie and pretend I love him. They could never find out.

"Of course I'll block you're mind from Edward and Syd. I wouldn't let you harm yourself intentionally." oh now he chose to be nice.

I walked back over to Cody's body. Then it hit me. Every touch and every kiss. I had slept with…Cody. I had betrayed Jason. But the part that made me sick overpowered my horror. I had done the thing that I hated, and I had enjoyed it.

I fell to my knees again. "Jason, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I…I." I tried to pull out coherent words, but the sobbing only made it worse.

He pulled me into him. "Shhh. I don't blame you. It'll be okay soon, I promise."

"Come here." Jason's body snapped.

I resisted the urge to make another remark, but then I thought about what he did to me. He loved me. Imagine how much worse it would be it he did the same thing to Jason. I shivered and obeyed him.

He took me in his arms. "Kiss me." Jason's body whispered. I looked back at Cody's snarling face.

"Don't! I would rather die than see you with him again."

I leaned closer to Jason's body. "But I can't live without you." then I pressed my lips to Jason's mouth. I felt his constricting arms pulling me closer to him. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and his hand went up my shirt. I wanted to pull away, but I had to think of Jason. I couldn't let him die.

Jason slipped his other hand up my shirt pulled me even closer.

It would be a lie to say I didn't enjoy it. Even though I knew this was Cody, he was wearing Jason's body. And my body recognized that. I fell into familiar patterns when I was next to him. It some way it didn't feel wrong.

Jason pulled away and took a few steps back. "That was better, don't you think?"

I didn't say anything. I just kept my eyes on Cody's body and how much pain he was in. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I hated hurting him, but I needed him alive. This was only the beginning of the pain he would feel, I was sure of it.

"Good bye." I whispered and I felt another breeze. When I re-opened my eyes I saw that I was at my house. I could hear the voices from inside, but Cody must have done something to keep them from hearing me.

I sighed.

With Jason's hand in mine, I walked into the house and began to lie though my teeth.


	19. Chapter 18: Answers

18. Answers

They didn't believe at first of course. To just walk in with who they thought was Jason and say that we kissed and made up gave some suspicion towards it. I so badly wanted to scream the truth at them, but I had to think of Jason. If I let out just one word it would be the end of his life. I had to pretend that Cody was Jason and Jason was Cody. It got confusing a bit with the whole discussion, but as Cody had promised, he helped me through it.

To block my mind would only be worse. Edward and Syd would suspect more so Cody just shielded some of my thoughts and then replaced them with his own, giving it my own unique "thought" of course. If I didn't sound like me the game would be over. And I had a feeling it wouldn't be over for a long time. Maybe he would keep me like this forever.

I sighed. This was more work than I thought.

"So you're telling my you were just shocked?" Bella hissed trying to pry me from Jason's arm without actually touching me. I could feel her pull. I could feel her wanting me to get away from the man who said he wanted to kill my unborn child.

Not that I blamed her for getting so angry. I knew this was a touchy spot for her. Edward wanted to get rid of the child too, but he never would have forced her. Cody let off some I'm-going-to-kill-it-now-whether-you-like-it-or-not, vibe.

Cody shrugged his shoulders. "Well Carlisle had already told Claire that she couldn't bear a child. Excuse me for reacting to it badly. I would have never guessed…" I could see he was hiding the fury of the child growing inside me. I could see that he wanted to rip it out right now. I knew that he hated having Jason forming inside the body he claimed was his, but no one else could. Maybe I knew Cody better than I thought. Or maybe I just knew what to look for.

Skylar hadn't spoken a word since we entered. I tried to explain the whole story to them the best I could, without giving too much away. I told them that I saw Jason in the woods when I went for a walk without telling anyone. That alone sent Skylar's face into some sort of fit, but he never said anything. Then Cody told them how he begged for forgiveness and how I accepted and here we are. There were a few details then wanted to hear so Cody was glad to lie for me. Jason was right. I was a bad liar under too much stress. I really wanted to be a vampire again.

"But still," Angel pressed on, "to react that way was inexcusable. You have no idea how much that hurt Claire, Jason. I don't know what has gotten in to you."

For a moment I thought my blonde sister was about to figure it out. I thought about screaming it once she said one word of doubt, but Angel just shook her head and turned her face away from Cody.

I felt a small sigh of relief come from my parted lips. I had no idea that I had help in my breath anyway. I knew this was going to be harder than I thought, but I had to do this somehow. I had to protect the one I loved at all costs. Even if it meant loving the creature who destroyed me.

But I didn't really believe that. I still held on to that lie I hid from Jason not too long ago. Cody knew the truth to everyone I was deceiving and he didn't say a word. Of course he was a part of that lie and maybe he just wanted to be the bad guy. He certainly fit that role quite well.

"I know and it was wrong." Cody said, though the sound of Jason's voice came from him. It felt weird to know the truth behind who was really in Jason's body, but I had to keep a blank face. A poker face even. "Would it help to say I'm sorry?"

Edward spoke up this time. His bronze hair was more messy than usual. It looked like he had tried to pull some of it out earlier, but I doubted it would even fall out. His posture showed that he didn't trust Jason, or in my case Cody, and that was a huge burden off my shoulders. It Edward didn't trust him then it wasn't my fault. I had tried to lie to him and he just wasn't able to believe it. Maybe that's how Jason would be able to live with some of my family knowing the true answer.

"It would be a start." Edward's voice was hard and guarded. "But I don't trust you, Jason. It will take a while to earn it back." Edward rolled onto his other foot and leaned that way. I knew it felt silly to him, to act like a human, but he had been doing it for so long, I bet even some vampires were fooled at this point.

"I have time." Cody was talking a little too carelessly. Surely someone would see that, but no one said anything else. Cody took my hand and walked with me upstairs. With each step it felt harder to walk, like I was carrying too much. In fact I was. This lie was so much harder that the rest of the ones I told because unlike the rest of them, I couldn't believe it myself. I just hoped someone was able to figure it out.

I sat on my bed and fell onto the soft pillow, taking in the warm lilac scent I sprayed on it every night. I curled up under the covers and began to drift a bit when Cody entered the room.

"Good work, love. Everything went as planned."

It did? I would have thought with Edward and many others still suspicious would hurt his plans. Maybe I was more lost than I thought.

"Well of course they would be. I wouldn't expect them to believe it right away. But time is no longer an issue. I have all the time in the world for you." Cody looked at me this time, pushing a few stray strands of hair from my face. "Are you feeling ill?" he put his warm hand to my face, but it felt a little chilly to me. Maybe I was getting sick.

I nodded weakly. I closed my eyes and just felt my body relax against my will. I was shutting down. Was I dying? I wanted to jump from my bed, but I felt numb. I started to panic.

Then there was a slight whisper in my head. _Its ok, love. I'm putting you to sleep. You need your rest. It has been a long day and it will only be worse tomorrow._

Yeah like that made me feel loads better. But I couldn't fight the fact that my body was starting to go into a deep sleep. The last thing I felt was Cody's hand rubbing my back.

I woke with a start some time later. As soon as my eyelids flashed open, I tried to recall the dream, but finding nothing. It searched harder and got a few glimpses of trees and blood…a lot of blood. Running through the forest and blinding speed, but not being able to run fast enough, not even to save him.

Save who? Who was I running from or was it running towards. Was it even me running or someone trying to save me? My head already had a headache from the confusing flashes of my dream. I shook it off and looked at my stomach.

For a moment I almost had a heart attack. It looked flat, but when I blinked and looked at it again, it regained it's normal roundness. Maybe Carlisle was wrong. The due date felt closer than November. I think he was a little off. He was so used to being a human doctor, he had to be. I was getting too big.

I looked outside and saw snow. The window was frosted with white flakes, each one different. It looked nice and perfect, but once Cody walked into the room, my smile faded.

"Come now, love. How about a walk in the snow." he asked. I glanced at his clothes. He was wearing the ones I got him for Christmas, when I thought I was getting them for Jason of course. He still seemed to like them, but it hurt having to look at him.

"Fine." I said curtly, walking to the closet. I pulled out my snow boots, hat, coat, and gloves. I slipped the boots on and then my gloves. As soon as those were secure I pulled my black fur coat that Cody got me. It was nice, but it hurt worse to know that it came form him. It hurt worse knowing that I loved it. Was it wrong to like it? I supposed not.

I trudged to the bathroom, passing Skylar's worried look and closed the door a little too loudly. I checked the mirror and tried to comb out my ridiculous hair. Yes it was straight, but for some reason it didn't like to be brushed right. I looked at my big blue eyes. Then the rest of my face. Yes I still looked like me but the change was still drastic. I wasn't pale, I wasn't perfect in my features anymore and I swear I was getting a zit on my forehead.

I sighed again and yanked the brush through my hair a little bit more and decided I was presentable. To who I don't know, but definitely not Cody. I opened the door and walked downstairs, a little too slow for normal. I happened to glance at the clock to see that it was only nine o'clock, but to know that I slept that much gave me the willies. To know that Cody could do that to me at anytime scared me to death.

Especially with my baby coming, but I doubted he cared about my son at all. Or my girl, but I really wanted a son.

Cody set breakfast on front of me as soon as I entered the kitchen, eyes on every movement he made around me. I think I even saw Alice's hand twitch toward the knife. It made me want to laugh.

I ate the hot eggs and bacon a little too quickly. My throat had a slight burn to it, but I ignored it as soon as I washed it down with some ice cold milk. Wiping my face off with a napkin, I pushed my self away from the table, the chair making a slight noise, and stood up. Nick took my plate and handed it to Cody Walls, who placed it in the dishwasher and started it.

"Let's go." I said, unenthusiastic. Cody followed me out the door. I could feel the eyes following after us, so I walked into the deeper parts of the forest. I crunched through the snow, thankful I wore my boots. It was getting chilly, but my warm fur coat-that wasn't real fur-kept me pretty darn toasty.

I stopped and didn't face Cody. I couldn't hear him anymore, but I knew he was there and I had to get some answers that were forming in my head. This was the most perfect time to do it.

_Make sure know one can hear us_, I told Cody in my head, knowing he would hear me. He was so in tune to my mind that there was no way he couldn't. It was like being a part of him and that alone made me shudder again.

I felt him creep into my mind. I could almost feel the wall he was setting up, making a barrier from the listening ears that wanted to catch every word. No one would be the wiser because they would have thought we had gone too far for them to hear. I really hoped they wouldn't decide to drop in on us.

"I need answers and you're going to give them to me." I ordered, spinning around to face him. Jason's perfect face sent my heart racing, but it wasn't really Jason. I had to keep telling myself so I wouldn't get carried away when I was near him.

Cody smiled, stepping closer. "Anything."

"For one I know you had something to do with making me human and I want to know how and why."

Cody looked around. His breath came out and I could see the warmth of it from the cold. The snow blew around us, giving me goose bumps, but I knew it didn't bother him.

"I wanted you back to the way you were. The person who fell in love with me."

"Ok, good answer." I told him, taking a small step backwards. I couldn't take a chance getting too close to him. "But I'm still who I was. Being human or vampire doesn't change how I feel about you. I don't love you."

There was that smirk again, clearly etching on his face. "Liar."

"I'm not lying." I snapped, but I could hear it in my own voice. In some ways I was lying, but in others it was the full truth.

He rolled his eyes.

I narrowed mine at his still smiling face. It hurt to see him, knowing my Jason was trapped in a warehouse bound in chains.

"Next question, love."

I tried my attempt at a growl when he called me 'love', but it didn't work so well. I ignored his chuckles and threw another question at him. "I still don't understand, Cody. Yeah I'm human, but I'm still in love with Jason Greenfield."

"You said it yourself, Claire. You loved me better when you were human. I couldn't give up without one more try. I knew you would never give me a chance so I switched with Jason. I lived with you and you even noticed how much better it was. Having me know things Jason wouldn't, feeling things that Jason couldn't give you. I had to try because…believe it or not, Claire, I love you."

I snorted. Of course I wanted to deny that I said that, but I had said the exact thing to Jason, trying to explain my life. "Yeah that's why you force me to pretend that you're really Jason when you're not. You're right. That's a pure symbol of love." my voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"Don't try to tell me that you haven't felt any change when I was near you. Every touch, every kiss, it was better wasn't it. Jason's a boy, I'm a man."

Again I felt like laughing. What he said was the old cliché about why you should chose one over another. "Kidnapping isn't exactly on my 'take me I'm yours' list." I countered, smiling. I was going to win this. I hoped.

"I didn't kidnap you."

"You kidnapped my husband." I retorted. The wind started to pick up, blowing large quantities of snow in my direction.

"Well, technically _I'm_ your husband." the smile one his face grew wider. "You married me."

I opened my mouth, about to say something, but the meaning of his words left me shocked. What did he mean I married him? Hadn't I married Jason? But then again he was acting strange on the honeymoon.

"You took Jason out before the wedding?"

He flashed over to my side. "Only because he doesn't deserve you. I do."

I wanted to punch him. I wanted to throw every part of my gift on him, but I didn't have it anymore. Or did I? another question bubbled to my lips.

"What about my gift?"

Cody looked at me funny, like at first he didn't understand what I was saying. After shaking his head a bit I knew he came up with the answer. "You always thought I gave you your gift, didn't you? I only gave you have of it. So concerned that I gave you death, that you never though to think that I only gave you life!" he paused collecting his thoughts so he didn't yell at me. "You already possessed death, but I bet you already figured that out when you saw your precious Sam dead." another smirk.

He was right. I felt the death consuming her, but I didn't feel the life.

But…

Without death there can be no life and without life there can be no death. The two balanced each other out, intermingling with each other. I had both, I was just stronger in the death situation, which didn't surprise me one bit. I was once a killer, of course death would come easily to me.

"Any more questions my dear?" his warm breath tingled against the skin on my neck, making me hair rise.

A thought popped into my head. It was gone as soon as it was in so I knew Cody didn't catch it. I placed my hand on his shoulder, ever so lightly.

"More of a request really." I purred. I knew how he would react. This was Jason's body, it knew exactly what I was doing, but Cody didn't, that was the best part. I walked slowly around him, trying my hand at being seductive. Human or not, I could do this well.

Cody gulped. It was working. "W-what?" he stuttered. Good, he was getting nervous. I put my other hand on his back and trailed it as I walked around him, swinging my hips, without making it too obvious of course.

"Let me talk to Jason." I whispered in his ear. I leaned up and my teeth grazed his earlobe, making him shiver. I continued walking around and placed my hand on his face, the tips of my fingers the only thing still touching him. It was enough.

Cody nodded, unable to take his eyes off my body.

I smiled, a very seductive smile. Jeez I felt like a hoe right now. But I had work to do and I had to see Jason. "Alone." I said slowly. I watched him take a deep breath. I already knew his answer before he said it.

"Anything for you." it sounded like he was in a trance. Prefect.

I felt the ground move beneath me and the familiar sensation of being weightless. The wind was strong and as soon as my feet hit the floor, I found myself wrapped in Jason's arm.


	20. Chapter 19: Hope

19. Hope

We just sat there for a few moments, grasping each other like if we let go, the world would end.

If you think about it, it would.

Jason looked loads better. I mean he looked perfect before, but I knew for him to just see me, it literally made his day. He didn't look as somber or down, his spirits seemed to be held higher and his smiles made wider. All in all his face glowed, giving me some sort of essence of my Jason.

After he let go of me he took a look about it. He glanced over my body a few time, pulling my hair back, searching for something that was obviously not there. Completing the look over in five minutes, Jason seemed quite pleased.

"What were you looking for?" I asked, slightly amused. I grinned at him, just letting it soak it that I was really here with Jason. I wouldn't care if the world stopped right here and now. I was with the one I wanted to die with.

Jason smiled, looking like it felt odd to smile. "I hate this blasted face!" he exclaimed, shocking me a bit. I expected an answer, not an outburst. Jason looked at me, he too seemed surprised by himself. "Sorry. I was just checking to make sure he hadn't harmed you in anyway."

It made sense. I didn't know what Jason would do about it when he actually saw Cody again, but I didn't want to worry about it. As long as I made Cody happy and not spill the secret, no harm would come to Jason. There would be no reason to and if Cody did without warning, well there was no way I would let it slide right over my head.

"He hasn't hurt you right?" my voice barely over a whisper. At this point I was so happy to be with Jason, but this conversation was hard if you wanted to keep a smile on your face.

"No more than usual." Jason said simply, shrugging his shoulders. I looked over him again. "I mean not that he really could, he's growing weak, but I'll get to that in a second." he paused and bit his lip. "I'm in a vampire's body, Claire. Cody is in a human's body-in a way. It's hard for him to hurt me now."

I nodded letting it sink in.

"How did you get him to let you come here alone anyway?"

I turned away from his face, because mine was suddenly getting very red. He pulled my face back to his and leaned closer to me, breathing on me. Normally I would be affected by that, but this was Cody's body and I knew that. My own body knew that.

"That doesn't work on me you know." I breathed.

"Drat." he snapped his fingers, smiling better now. He pulled me closer to him. We didn't fit together like normal, but in a way we fit better. It hurt to say it, but maybe I would have been better off with Cody.

I cursed myself for thinking that. Of coursed I belong with Jason. Not with an insane, psychopath, Cody. Right?

"You didn't answer me."

I sighed. "I sort of made him."

"How?…ah." he said releasing me a bit.

"No not like that!" I said quickly. "I just tried my hand at being seductive." I blushed, my face burning hot.

Jason laughed loudly, his body literally shaking.

"What?" I said a little flourished and angry. "You don't think I can do it?"

After wiping a tear from his eye and he stopped laughing he answered, "Of course I do. I would have loved to see it though." He chuckled a bit more and then calmed down.

I rolled me eyes and then we sat there in silence for the next ten minutes. I felt happier than I had been a long time. Just knowing that I had fooled so easily aged me. This one day felt like thousands of years. Making me more tired by them second, but my body was more alive an alert than ever.

"Happy Valentines day." I blurted, forgetting what day. I was surprised that Cody hadn't done anything, but then again he probably had so much on his mind that he didn't have room.

Jason slapped a hand against his forehead. "That reminds me." he muttered. He got up and walked over to a corner about 5 feet from here. The chains jingling with his every move.

"Here." Jason said smiling widely. I looked at his extended hand right in front of me and couldn't believe what my eyes saw. In his grasp was a beautiful white rose. Unlike so many others I had seen, it was complete bloom, displaying each petal. It was perfect to its last thorn.

"It's…" I sputtered, unable to find a word good enough to describe it. Jason finished for me.

"Yeah it's nice, but no where near as beautiful as you standing here in comparison, or sitting in this case." he leaned down and kissed me in one fluid moment.

I laughed. "You got that from Edward didn't you?"

"He said it never fails to impress."

I pressed my lips to his and just kept them there for a while. With Jason moving with me, we fell into our normal pattern. I broke away breathless.

"You have no idea how it kills me to know that he gets to see you everyday." he mumbled, his voice on the edge of a small growl.

"I'm sorry."

"S' not your fault."

I laid down in his lap again and closed me eyes. "Jason, you have no idea how much I wish that boy would burn in hell." I saw the corners of Jason's mouth pull up when I said 'that boy'. "I hate him. I wish you were there instead. I wish I was good enough for you. I wish-" Jason put a finger to my mouth.

"I _will_ be there instead. You _are_ good enough for me. Too good really, but you get my point. Claire, I'm not weak anymore. I'm growing stronger."

I looked up into his red eyes with a quizzical look. But he wasn't joking. Jason was serious. "What are you talking about, Jason? Cody's still is in control."

His chest rumbled. A growl. "Not for long."

I looked down. "I-I don't think I quite understand what you're getting at."

"Did I just take the form of Cody or am I in his body?" he asked me. I looked at him, thinking he was joking, but he was un-amused. I still didn't get it, but I had to answer anyway.

"Both?" I guessed.

"You're right." Jason said, surprising me. "The body Cody is wearing has every one of my traits as his does on me. But our physical "selves" don't fit in them correctly."

"I still don't understand, Jason. Human brain remember?" I said, tapping my head. He smiled, but he put his hand on my.

"It doesn't matter." he told me. Then he went on. "You see Claire, I didn't have any gifts in my body, other than shape shifting. And Cody's real self has every gift in the world. Do you get what I'm saying?"

It was becoming a little clearer, when all of a sudden, it dawned on me. "So you're saying that Cody's powers can't live in your body because your body because they are not meant to?"

"Exactly!" Jason thundered, clasping his hands together. "So that means…?"

I smiled instantaneously. "Cody's powers are coming to this body-"

"Because they belong with it." he finished for me.

I waited for him to say it was a joke, to pop out and say _sike! _but he didn't. he just sat there smiling with me. I don't think I had ever felt more joy. Here Jason was, sitting prisoner, and giving me the cherished hope I was longing for. I grasped it with such force I almost cried. Almost of course.

"I'll see you soon, love." Jason said suddenly. I wanted to ask what he was talking about, but I could already feel myself being sucked away. Jason must have been able to sense it. Already every piece of what's been happening came into view.

Cody not being able to hear me clearly; the strained voice he had; why he was so controlled by me; why I didn't fear him anymore. It all felt so invigorating.

The ground flew under my feet and my legs jolted to a sudden stop. Cody was standing there in Jason's body and u felt a surge of triumph when I saw his frown. But I didn't expect his words.

"I didn't know you hated me so much."

First worry washed over my body. Had he heard Jason? Would he stop it? What would happen to him and me? But then that was at the beginning of the conversation. He had to have been to week to carry on the whole time.

I laughed meanly. The menace in my tone was unmistakable. "I've told you this a hundred times!" I snapped. His face recoiled as if I slapped him. "I hate you."

He nodded and began to walk away. I followed, only to get out of the cold. We both walked in to the house, at least ten feet apart. The others seem to notice this as well because Angel's jaw was locked and Taylor had some sort of a scowl on her face. Skylar only watched Cody walk up the stairs before he turned to me. I shook my head, not wanting to answer the questions I saw in his eyes. It was too soon. Cody was still strong enough to kill us all. I just had another secret to keep, but this one was much easier.

I sat on the love seat and Taylor followed my actions. I leaned on her shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt the others surrounding me too. Skylar sat in the seat's arm next to Taylor, Angel sat at my feet, putting a blanket over me, then leaning on my legs. Nick sat next to her and rubbed my right leg a bit. Cody (Walls) sat on the right arm on the seat and put his cold arm around me. Trevor squeezed in right next to me between Cody and he put his head on my shoulder.

The only person who was joined in this little session was Cody, and he was staring at all of us. It should have scared me, except everyone one next to me was staring back as well. He turned and walked down the hallway, shutting the door. I smiled, knowing that I wouldn't have to live with him forever. Knowing that Jason would save me and I would be with him forever. A moment of peace cloaked me, but what really stood out in my calmness was the hope I was now harboring. Jason would live. Jason would die for me if he had to.

The last thought I had in my mind before I feel asleep was that I sort of felt bad for the boy sitting upstairs wishing I would love him.


	21. Chapter 20: Shattered

20. Shattered

I didn't want to particularly sleep on the couch, crowded with too many people, so I stood up and cracked my back. In fact I heard the legs protesting at all the weight. I said good night to everyone and hugged Taylor good bye. I walked upstairs and entered the room.

Cody wasn't in there so I decided I might as well change into my night clothes while he wasn't around to watch me do it. I opened the closet and grabbed the first pair of pink pajamas I saw. In truth they were my favorite since Nick got them for me. They were all nice and warm. It was opposed to the lingerie that Angel and Taylor had somehow slipped into my outfits.

I curled up in the bed. I sprayed some lavender on the pillow so I could fall into a deep sleep. When I couldn't even get comfortable I opened my eyes and looked around the room. It hadn't changed much other than the new comforter Jason and I picked out. Or at least I thought it was Jason…

I disregarded the thought. Jason would be here with me soon enough. I would have him in my arms and everything would be ok. He got away from me some how, but in a way I feel him next to me still. I just want my Jason back.

I tossed and turned in the sheets until I finally gave up. There was no way I was ever going to get some sleep so I sat up and let the thoughts stirring in my head consume me.

Cody. What was going on with him? Why had he been so shocked that I had hurt him? He knew that I hated him. Hadn't he realized that when he slaughtered Shadow? He was a monster…but. But what? Yeah he was smitten by love, but that didn't excuse him from everything he's done to hurt me. He doesn't realize how much his life has impacted me, how much it hurts me to see him everyday, and how it kills me to know that still some part of me loves him.

Sure I lied about it. Not exactly about loving Cody, but what went down with him before that. I hadn't told Jason the story right, I hadn't told the world the story right, but I was hoping the secret I posses would keep hidden in my soul. Of course Cody knew what the truth was, but I bet he was too obsessed with me to realize he could spill the beans about it any moment. Talk about black mail waiting to happen. And he wasn't even doing it right. I don't know whether to me relieved or worried that something worse was going to come along.

In a way Cody had grown from since I saw him for the first time in four-thousands years. It was a very rude awakening, but I was awake non the less. Seeing him brought back a swirl of memories, but seeing him and Jason together was way too overwhelming. How can I love something that has already shattered me to pieces? Easy if you knew what we had been through.

Cody was something special back then. I was a plain girl, obviously, but he didn't see me that way. In fact I had just brushed him off as some sort of ladies man. I wasn't too worried about getting married or falling in love at that point. I had absolutely no desire at all.

Then I saw him.

You could say love at first sight, but that wouldn't explain it right. At first I thought we were meant for each other, but after we went different ways, I began to think I was never meant for love. Then I met some simple human named Jason Greenfield, who in a couple of weeks, turned my life upside down. It hurt to love him, and sometimes it was just plain painful, but I couldn't deny what my heart felt. It was different than Cody. I fell strictly head over heals for Jason, meaning that he fell in the hallway when I knew I loved him. I may have denied it, but I knew the real truth.

Jason made me smile. My family had worried that I would never find anyone, but I wasn't. It was like my body somehow knew I wouldn't be alone for much longer. Now here I am as a human, waiting for Jason to come rescue me.

Sure Jason being a werewolf had me scared, but werewolf or not, I would love him. It even turned out that way in my dream, that seemed years ago at this point. Could it have only been last year? Not even a full year yet? And then look how it turned out. Jason was almost un-killable. He could take care of himself and we could truly love as equals, but that didn't happen did it?

I sighed and looked around again. When my hand reached for something that wasn't there I knew at once why I couldn't sleep. I need Jason next to me. I needed to wrap my arms around his warm body, drowning in the scent I could match anywhere.

Knowing he was somewhere close I called, "Aren't you sleeping?"

Cody stepped out from the corner of the room, the light chasing away the shadows that engulfed his figure. Seeing Jason's body sent my heart into double over time, but knowing who was inside it didn't help anything. Shouldn't I still be disgusted with him, not still wanting him to come closer. What was wrong with me?

"I thought you would want me near you." Cody said.

"Yeah and hiding in my room isn't near me." I scoffed, but seeing the pain flash on his face showed me that my words really hurt him. Jason could never hide his pain from me so maybe Cody was hiding all of his pain, but now he was unable to because of the body he was in.

Cody nodded. "You have no idea." he turned his face away from me. No. I refused to feel sorry for him. Cody did this knowing full well what the consequences were. Now hew as going to have to deal with them…but I needed sleep.

"Come here." I said slowly, inching over to make room for him. First the look on his face was confusion, but he slid over beside me anyway. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. It felt nice to be in some place familiar, even if it was foreign at the same time.

Cody didn't speak, but I knew what he was thinking. "I'm tired."

"You couldn't sleep, I get it." he said fast, like if he said it any slower the pain would be worse. I highly doubted it.

"Just don't think about doing anything funny."

"Darn." Cody said sarcastically. "And I had a whole night planned too." I smiled, remembering how Jason would always joke like this. I laughed softly and breathed in again.

"Goodnight, Cody."

"Er-goodnight, Claire." he said, surprised that I said anything more.

Soon enough I was running again, but for a different purpose. I wasn't running to anything, I was just running. Like I used to. I felt my old legs again and I knew I was a vampire. I heard a sound behind me so I turned without missing a step. Cody, in his real body, had came to me. He ran by my side and instead of pain, my heart did a flip as I saw his smiling face. I felt like when I saw him for the first time in my long life, before any damage had been done.

"Claire, wake up already." someone said, while shaking me from my some what pleasant dreams. I opened my eyes quickly and saw Angel's beautiful face in mine.

I jerked back fast, not knowing she was really that close. "Sorry." she apologized. "But you have to get up." Angel urged, lifting off the bed with too much grace.

"Why?" I groaned, wiping the sleepers from my eyes. When I opened them again Angel was by my closet, throwing different articles of clothing at me. I had to duck at a shoe that had barely missed me.

"Sorry." she said again. Angel flittered to my side and began to dress me like normal. "But you need to go."

"Where?"

"Well…" she pursed her lips like she wasn't sure whether she was supposed to tell, but she told me anyway. "Edward's gonna take you on a date." Angel beamed at me and pulled the shirt over me before I had time to react.

"A date?" I asked, skeptically.

"You know, like a best friend thing. I mean you aren't still mad are you, because we can cancel it…" Angel looked worried when Alice stormed in.

"No you're not." Alice half growled. The little spiky haired pixie looked so loveable, yet so deadly. How the Cullens lived with her I had no clue, but somehow they did. "Edward's taking you somewhere and you are going to like it." Alice ordered.

"Jeesh, Alice, why don't you force her some more and see where that takes you?" Jasper came in. I never got over how wonderful his hair was. Well maybe that was because it looked so much like Jason's.

Alice beamed and shooed him out to finish dressing me. In less than five minutes I was dressed, cleaned, fed, and had make up on. I was ready to walk out the door. Taylor had to drag me down the stairs before I would leave, but when happened to mention I would be able to drive my Viper, I changed gears immediately. In fact Skylar had to stop me from bouncing too much.

I hadn't seen Cody so I didn't know where he was, but at this point I didn't care. Or maybe I did, but I was too excited to notice it.

Before long Edward rang the doorbell and gave me the keys to my car. I couldn't help, but smile when I sat in the warm leather seat, listening to the engine purring when I put the key in the ignition.

"Where to?" I asked, pulling out of our long drive, passing the baby rabbits who were out playing. Edward smiled and looked at my face.

"The movies."

I shot him a look. "In the morning?"

He shrugged. "I have it all planned out. We'll have a snack at the movies, then I'll take you out to dinner, next lunch, and lastly…breakfast."

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the road. I pushed the pedal down a little more and tried to go faster. Edward didn't complain about the 'human' speed I was following, but I didn't particularly didn't want to die today in a crash. In fact he just sat there and didn't say a word. I wonder if he was trying to decipher my still clouded thoughts.

After twenty minutes of passing cars and getting my fair share of honks as I almost crashed into the one in front of me, I pulled into the parking lot of the Cinema 10. I grabbed the tickets to _Lurking in Death_ while Edward got in line to get me some popcorn and some type of soda; I told him I didn't care which.

I had a fun time watching girls drool all over him and watch in envy as he explained he was married when they wanted his number. I almost died laughing when I saw the brunettes reaction to it.

When he walked over to me, the girls' eyes flickered over me in a weird way. It was like they knew I was pretty, but they didn't want to admit it. Just to placate them, I grabbed his hand and watched his face break into another smile. He winked at me and took my up the stairs and into the theater.

Edward chose the seats and we just sat there, waiting for the lights to dim and the screen to light up with advertisements and previews. After those were out of the way, the movie began.

By the title I could have sworn it was going to be a horror movie, in fact I would have bet on it, but it didn't turn out that way. At the end of the show the boyfriend had murdered his girlfriend because he wasn't who he really said he was. It reminded me of _I know what you did last Summer_ in a way, but not entirely.

All in all, it made me wish I hadn't come. It reminded me too much of myself as well. What was Cody going to do when he realized that Jason was getting stronger and I wasn't going to be his? I really hoped the movie had nothing to do with my ending.

As I spent the day with Edward I couldn't help but watch the couples walking along the sidewalks. It was like they were each wearing a sign that said LOOK HERE. It hurt to know how screwed up my life is and how easily it could be fixed. I could go this way or that way, either way someone was going to get hurt. I was broken into pieces trying to find each one and put it back together. It was easier said than done.

By the time he dropped me off at my house I was dead tired. I stumbled up the stairs and into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, combed my hair and got ready for bed. When I entered my room Cody was in there waiting for me, still looking out the window.

"Have fun?" he asked.

"Sure."

I didn't feel like talking and I didn't fell like arguing. I just wanted to get some sleep and never wake up. I wanted this world to leave me alone so I could make up my own. But what about Jason? I couldn't do that to him. I needed him. I just needed to live on the fact that it would get better in time.

But as a lot of people say, it gets worse before it ever gets better.

That's my life story right there.

Is it ever going to get better?


	22. Chapter 21: Confused

21. Confused

"It looks like I was off on the date, Claire." Carlisle told me Sunday morning. I was hooked up to a monitor and I was watching my son-Carlisle had just told me that it really was a boy. The icy jelly crap was smeared all over my stomach and I sat there alone; Cody refused to come. Which was fine by me.

"I guess I'm so used to telling people human dates." he smiled wryly. "But it has some of the qualities that Renesmee had. Just slower because of the werewolf part. I'm so excited to see…" I stopped listening. I was too busy looking at my son, grinning like a fool.

Carlisle had told me everything was fine and that he expected my son-it still gave me goose bumps to say it-to come around March 26th. Though he told me not to worry, I couldn't help but think of all the things that could go wrong. My mind had just stopped working for the moment, sending me into complete bliss.

After going through everything he helped me up and I walked down their large stair case. I sat down next to Edward who still had the angry expression when Cody told him he wasn't coming. He knew something was up, I could tell.

Jacob fell next to me with a smile on his face and then Nessie sat on his lap. I looked around for Bella to charge out, angry, but if Edward didn't do anything I suspected that it was normal.

"OUCH!" I hissed, grasping my stomach, leaning over. I felt like I was going to be sick. Something hard had just punched my stomach from the inside, but it felt more like something sharp.

"Claire?" Edward leaned in front of me in an instant, Skylar next to me half a second later. I breathed in and out. Instantly I felt better. I leaned up and tried to smile.

"He's just getting bigger." I told them.

I saw anger flash upon Edward and Jacob's face, leaving Skylar just to worry. I didn't understand until Jasper walked over.

"Calm down. It's not the same." Jasper said in his velvety voice, flowing over me like silk.

I got it. In the story they had told me about Nessie, Bella said the exact same thing, making Edward angrier by the second. Though to say the least, mine wasn't as dangerous as Renesmee. Or is he going to be worse?

"No." Syd and Edward snapped. I rolled my eyes and leaned back again, still feeling sick.

"Can I go home?" I asked Skylar, who scooped me in his arms too quickly. I winced and held back the whimper that wanted to leave my mouth.

"Sorry." Skylar said, putting his hand on my forehead. "I'm not used to it yet."

"Maybe I should just pop her back home." Angel said for the tenth time. Even I said no. I was still afraid that it would somehow hurt the baby. And since Alice couldn't exactly see it, I wasn't going to take the chance.

"I'll take her." someone said through clenched teeth. Well not someone; Cody. I knew that voice anywhere.

Cody looked like he would rather be anywhere but there. I saw the look of disgust on his face when he glanced at my stomach. I stared right back at him, more like glaring than anything. I was sending him a warning that I knew Edward or Syd couldn't hear, but if Jason was right, they soon would.

Many stood up slightly, ready to fight, but I stood up too. "Sure." many stared at me like I was crazy, but I still had a pretense to keep up. I'm sure I would know when I could spill the beans, but until then, my lips were sealed.

I took his hand as he guided me carefully out the door. When were out of earshot, I was able to let the fake things go, but I didn't really want to let go of his hand. It felt nice, holding the warm skin that was also cold. Feeling the satiny skin that still had a rough texture to it. Everything about his body made a contradiction against the other, yet still being able to live together with no problem. Pryor Wolves were something else.

Cody ended up dropped my hand and put his arm around my waist. I sighed and without thinking I was leaning into him, letting him carry most of my weight. He kissed the top of my head and helped me up into the house and into my room.

I sat there and looked at him. He was changing. He couldn't hide anything anymore, but I didn't know if that was a good thing. If he was acting more and more like Jason, would Jason start acting like Cody? _Of course not_, I told myself, _Jason and Cody are completely different people_. But yet the thought didn't make my fears go away completely. It just helped to hide them until they were aroused again.

"I love you." he told me, grasping my hand. The first thing that came to my mind was 'Yeah right!' but my words surprised me.

"I know."

Cody smiled, making me smile. He had changed. This wasn't Jason. This was the Cody I had fallen for so many years ago. This was the Cody that swept me off my feet and treated me like I was his everything, the Cody who I didn't fear, but adored. This was the Cody that adored me as well.

Without thinking at all, I leaned in and kissed his soft lips. For a second he was hesitant, but then he kissed back. Cody put his hand on my cheek and the other one on my right shoulder. My fingers were entangled in his hair, pulling him closer. Pretty soon I had to breathe, but even then his lips didn't leave my skin. They trailed down my neck and under my chin. With a gasp I pulled his face to mine again.

Cody leaned over me, pressing my back against the head of the bed, without actually putting his full weight on me. He curved over to my side; the round stomach making it an obstacle to actually be on top of me. But it worked the same.

Too soon, Cody pulled away, but I wasn't the only one breathing hard. When I looked at him I couldn't help but smile. His face was nothing I had never seen Jason wear. It was unexplainable. It was so lit up with pure joy and happiness that I didn't understand it. He rolled over next to me and started to laugh. Not a evil laugh, I guess you could say, but one that was…different from his earlier happy moment. Like he just figured something out.

"What?" I asked, looking over at his face. The smile slid from his face when he looked at me.

"I just wish that you were kissing _me_."

It took me a moment to get what he just said. At first I was going to say, 'Well who else was I kissing?' but he meant something different.

"I mean you love, Jason, or so you think. And this is his body. I mean all you ever think about is him. You talk about him all the time in your sleep, I mean apart from the snores. I get it."

I ignored the last part. I didn't snore.

"As much as I hate saying it, I was kissing you, Cody. I knew what I was doing."

The smile slowly made its way across his face again. "Really?" he asked, astounded.

I nodded, getting a sinking feeling in my stomach. What was I doing? Cody was right. All I ever wanted was someone like Jason. Cody tore my world apart, sending me into the flames to burn alive. Or that was the old Cody. This Cody was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but how long will this last. When will he just go back to his old, irritating ways?

As I my head spun, everything came to just a sentence: I really felt like some kind of slut right now.

I switched off the light and closed my eyes. Cody slipped his arm around my waist and I let it stay there. I was so stupid, but in a way it was like having a piece of Jason here with me.

I woke up in the morning to find that Cody wasn't next to me. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room, but still no Cody. Instead my eyes fell upon something else: Jason.

Cody's body was sitting in the corner, a look of pain on his face. I thought about why he would be in pain, but then I remembered. I covered my face in my hands.

"Why?" Jason asked, horrified. I was going to answer, but when I looked up, he was gone. I looked at the door and saw Cody opening it slowly with a tray of food in his hands.

I started to wonder if Jason was really there, or if I was going mad. Or maybe it was just because I felt so guilty about kissing Cody. That was probably the answer to it. I felt so bad about it so I saw Jason, who knew what I did. Or at least I thought he did.

"Good you're up." Cody sat down next to me, smiling. He set the tray next to me as I sat up. I looked at the food in front of me. It was full of waffles, eggs, bacon, cereal, milk, yogurt, and next to my silverware was a note from Cody, which I didn't feel like reading just yet.

"Joy." I said sarcastically, refusing to look Cody in the eyes. He seemed to feel the anger in me because he rubbed his hands against his legs uncomfortably. He sighed like he didn't know what to say to that, so it just became some kind of awkward silence.

I ate slowly, tasting every bite a little too much. I chewed everything more than necessary and only one thing at a time. By the time I finished eating just a few slices of bacon, everything was starting to get cold.

Cody finally got up after realizing that I wasn't in the mood for anything and crept out of the room. Once the door shut softly and his muffled foot steps no longer echoed down the hall, I pushed the tray away with a feeling of disgust.

What was I doing? I was so confused at this point that there was no escape. The Cody I was seeing now was so charming and wonderful, but the Jason I knew what everything plus more. Cody hurt me and Jason was the one who had the glue gun for my broken heart. We were made for each other. The only thing that I felt for Cody now was anger, memories, and how sneaky he could be. Maybe I was the reason he was so hard hearted all the time, but that just change the fact that he was like that.

He was just obsessed with me. Once he figures out how to get along without me, he'll be just fine. I really hoped I was right about this. The first one really was the worst one when it came to a broken heart.

"Finished?" Cody's voice came from behind me, making me jump. "Sorry." he said, taking the tray, which was still full of food, and walked back out.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I fumbled for the light switch and when it flickered on I looked at the clock. It was only seven o'clock. What was I doing up so early? I looked in the mirror and looked over my body.

I had changed dramatically. I no longer had a nice healthy look to me. Sure my body was healed and the bruises were gone, but there was just something missing. Wasn't a pregnant woman supposed to glow? I mean that's what I heard, but the girl standing in the mirror was anything but that. I hardly recognized her.

Her blonde hair hung around her face, no longer golden like it used to be. Now it was more of a pale blonde. Her face was pretty, but her pale skin made her deep blue eyes look even more different. The lips were red, but a little chapped from what I could see. You could tell she was skinny, even though she had a gigantic bulge coming out from her stomach.

I turned away from my reflection and stepped carefully into the shower. I felt the warm water slide over my icy skin and felt a slight pain near my torso. I gasped and grabbed the metal bar on the door so I wouldn't fall. after a few minutes of just standing there, the pain slowly faded away and I finished my shower. I shaved quickly and wrapped a towel around me.

Walking back into the room I felt the same pain, but it was more bearable this time and it didn't catch me by surprise. I pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt, not really caring what people thought when they saw me. Not that I was going anywhere. Besides my old pants wouldn't even fit me anymore.

I just sat on my bed and just relaxed for a moment, breathing harder than normal from the pain that came every ten minutes. When it didn't come an hour later I decided that I was done for today.

I was wrong.

In fact it hurt much worse. It didn't feel like I was in labor. I would have known. It was just like my son was stretching on the inside. He was getting so big. I wondered if it hurt this bad for Bella. After a moment of thought I decided that it didn't. Bella's probably hurt so much worse.

Cody Walls came into my room and leaned in the doorway. His face looked worried so I knew why he was here. "You okay?" he asked.

At first I just wanted to snap "No I'm just peachy", but I decided against it. It wasn't his fault I was in such a bad mood. Maybe it was a pregnant lady thing. "I'm doing fine."

He rolled his eyes and smiled gently at me. He drifted to my side in less than a second and sat next to me, with what seemed like he hadn't moved at all. I hated that he could still do that and I couldn't.

"You wanna talk?" Cody asked, looking at me very carefully, like I was hiding something. Maybe he wasn't really asking how the pain was. Maybe he was starting to figure out something. After all he knew Jason maybe better than I did. Let's just hope I was a good liar right now.

Thinking that I wasn't going to be able to do it-well how about that. I have absolutely so self confidence now-I thought I would just give him pieces of the truth. I was doing that a lot lately too.

"Not right now." I told him, hoping he would pick up on what I meant. Well of course I wouldn't know. Boys couldn't express anything and besides I could be talking to a wall-no pun intended.

"Well anytime you want to." he said, making no conformation on whether he understood what I meant or not. He was half way out the door when he looked back at me. "Oh and Jason is taking you to his father's tomorrow."

"_What?_" I screeched, sounding like fingernails on a chalk board.


	23. Chapter 22: Reminded

22. Reminded

Cody evaluated my expression with a smile on his face and he even noticed how my hand twitched into a fist before I unclenched it. It was funny to see his scared reaction even though I was human. It was nice to be able to strike some fear into people.

"Yep." Cody nodded with that stupid smile on his face. Oh man, if I was a vampire he would be on the ground screaming uncle. I wanted to lunge at him so bad. He must have saw it because Cody shook his smiling face, walked out of the room, and closed the door behind him.

I gritted my teeth and flung myself back o my pillow. It seemed like hours later that my Cody walked in. this was getting way to confusing to think about.

"I'm guessing Cody told you." he said, sitting next to me.

I shot him a dark look. "Jee, what gave it away? Was it my frown, or the angry vibes you were getting from me?" I said coldly, not even caring when he flinched at my words. Ok that was a lie. In truth it made me hurt a little bit, but I'm sure it was because he was in Jason's body.

"Okay, I guess I deserved that." Cody held his hands up in defense and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. It always made me smile when Jason did that. Even when Cody did that when I was human a long time ago. In a way they were so much a like.

But different in the kidnapping and totally insane part. Other than that they may be…I don't even want to say cousins. Maybe friends, in a I-want-to-kill-you sort of way. I wouldn't even know about going that far.

"Does he know about me?" I asked, motioning to the bulge coming out of my long torso.

It took him a moment to answer. He glanced quickly over my body, clearly trying to hide his vile, but I saw something different this time. Jason was right. Cody was getting emotions from Jason's body and Jason's body knew this was it's child. It was hard to hate some part of you.

"No." he finally said, tearing his eyes away from me. "It's going to be a big surprise." he rolled his eyes and looked at me.

I knew what he was thinking. We couldn't tell him everything. His father had to be just like Charlie. He could guess and we could pretend, but we had to make sure he knew that all of our lives depended on it. I mean how many people do you see who got married only about four months ago and is now on the edge of giving birth. It was going to be some hell of a shock.

"You know if the Volturi find out about us telling him-"

"Were not going to tell him." I said, cutting him off. "You may not be his son, but I'm family to him. To an extent. I'm not going to be the reason he dies."

"So what do you plan on doing?" his voice was colder than mine a minute ago.

"What Bella and Edward did."

He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Of course you would do what the _Cullen_'s do." he sneered their name. I narrowed my eyes and glared heavily. "You forgive to bloodsucker who killed your precious Sierra, the reason Keith came to me in the first place. It's his fault that all of that happened, you know."

I sighed, knowing he was right. Edward did cause this to happen. Yes, he was in terrible pain from leaving Bella and Sierra had taunted him.

Memory flooded my mind again…

_Edward left the room with a sad face. I agreed that he could stay here for a little while before returning to his family. I needed to cut him a break; he was family._

_In a way this boy hadn't changed. He'd grown into a man and now that man was something else. The attraction I had for him years ago never truly left. Sure I didn't really love him anymore, but seeing him again reminded me of what could have been if I hadn't of said no._

_Edward sat on the sofa by the door and put his head on his hands, burying his face. I'm sure if vampires could cry, this boy would be crying. I knew how he felt. To lose your first one that you truly loved was heart breaking. I was a mess after Cody too. But he already knew that._

_Skylar sat next to him while Taylor sat on his other side, rubbing his back. I wonder how he felt hearing all the love in the room from both of them, including Keith and Sierra._

"_Thanks for reminding me." Edward moaned and his whole body trembled._

"_Sorry." I whispered, trying to rid my mind of the thoughts. It had been a while since I had come across a mind reader. I was so out of practice. Maybe it would be nice to have one. A girl mind reader would be good, guys were too…well guys. Girls understood more._

"_Claire." Edward said, pulling his head up. I could see he was in misery, but the right side of his mouth twitched, meaning he got the joke. It made me feel a little better._

_Keith walked in, hand in hand with Sierra._

_Sierra always striked me as some beautiful force of nature. She would never hurt a fly, but if she had something to say, she said it before thinking of what consequences in could bring on her. Her mahogany hair fell waist length and was always shining. I wish my hair could get that long again. Her golden eyes looked better than everyone else's, even though they really looked the same. I didn't know what it was, but Sierra just had a natural sort of beauty._

_Not that Keith wasn't good looking either, heck all vampires were good looking, but it didn't draw me to him like Cody drew me to him. He had black, cropped hair and towered over me by at least a few feet. Even as he was pale, I could tell he was tan when he was still human. When that was we never knew; Keith never told us much about him. He just showed up and became part of our family._

"_Hunting." I said bluntly before jogging out of the house we were living in. Utah wasn't that bad of a place, but it was too sunny in the summer. We only stayed here during the winter; fresh snow covered the ground._

_I saw the others go their separate ways for hunting as well. Only Sierra and Edward stayed, Keith and the others giving me some space. By the looks of her eyes I guess Sierra didn't need to hunt._

_She called good bye to us. "Love you, Claire!" I rolled my eyes and smiled. Sierra always loved me the best, besides Keith of course. She loved being around me and when I got back from my hunt, she would always be the first to comfort me._

_I was sure Taylor would do the same, if she wasn't so obsessed in thinking that I was going to steal Skylar._

_It was fifteen minutes later when I heard it. I stayed pretty close, just mildly out of hearing range. When the crashing sound of boulders began I raced back to see what had happened._

_I heard screams-Sierra- and some growls coming from someone else. I burst into the room and saw Sierra's body burning in the middle of the room. I ranged my hearing out and heard Edward's running feet._

_I growled loudly and spun towards his foot falls. Anger consumed me and it helped my pound my way to try to catch up with Edward. Even with my strength and anger, Edward was just too darn fast. So I sent him a warning instead._

_I stopped dead and pulsed out my thoughts as loud as I could, knowing he was still in range to hear._

Mark my words Edward Cullen, if I ever see you again I will kill you. I will make sure you die a death that by the time I'm finished with you you'll just be begging for it. I hope you end up killing your precious Bella. Or maybe I'll just do it for you.

_I smiled at the thought. Seeing Edward's face when he saw his slaughtered Bella in my arms. Then he'll really wish he never left her. _

_I thought I heard a growl coming from his direction, but I already had turned around to face something horrible._

_Somehow I had to explain this to Keith…_

"Claire!" Cody snapped his fingers in front of me, finally bringing me back to the present. By the look on his face he must have been trying to get my attention for a while.

"Sorry." I mumbled, still thinking about how I told this all to Keith.

_I stared at Sierra's remaining, which were nothing to tell the truth. Just a burnt spot and maybe a speck of ash or two, but that could just be the crisped wood._

_The door opened and in came the rest of my family. First Skylar, then Taylor and last Keith. When they saw the burnt circle in the middle they wondered what I had done._

"_Jeesh, what did you three do?" Skylar said, looking around for both of them. Taylor frowned as she sniffed around the room._

_I couldn't really speak. How was I going to be able to break this news to them. I didn't want Keith going after Edward, even though I wanted him to die. I wanted him to die by my hand, writhing in pain._

"_Where are they?" Keith asked, shifting his weight to his right side, pulling his hands through his hair. He too was sniffing around and trying to find them both as if they were hiding and waiting to pull a joke._

_Taylor walked uneasily to the burnt pieces of wood and inhaled deeply. She gasped and fell backwards two feet away. Her face was full of horror as she turned around and fell into Skylar's arms._

_It didn't take long for the other two to figure it out as well. Their reactions were different. Skylar was horrified as well, but Keith did nothing. Instead he just stood there and watched me._

"_What happened?" I could tell he was trying to keep his voice light, but even I would have difficulty with that. I mean to just find out your true love had been burnt to death would put just a damper on your day._

_I opened my mouth to speak, but only air came out._

_Keith flashed to my side, picked me up by the collar and shook me. "What happened?" he repeated, his voice more wild than the first time._

_Skylar and Taylor pried his hands off me and I landed gracefully on my feet. With my jaw clenched I glared at him. I wasn't mad at him at all. This was better than the reaction I had actually pictured. In truth, Keith was taking this quite well._

"_Edward." I spat the words as they fell off my tongue. Keith's face constricted in fury. I saw his nostrils flare and his eyes flashed like no other. I swear I saw some hint of red in them._

"_Where is he?" Keith demanded._

_I shook my head, angry. "Long gone. I tried to chase him down, but he was too fast."_

"_Why didn't you kill him?"_

"_I-" I stopped. I hadn't really thought about that. Why hadn't I knocked him dead right there? Then Sierra would be avenged and maybe Keith could go on with his life with us._

"_Well?" he tapped his foot._

"_Now hold on here." Skylar interjected. 'We can't just rush into this." Keith ignored him and pushed him out of his way._

_Taylor pushed him back. She growled and her hands got tense, ready to spring at any moment. Keith stepped back cautiously. Everyone knew of her gift. Keith was no match against her. I was probably the only one who could stand a chance and I still wouldn't win; we had already fought, not holding back. I lost terribly._

"_Easy. We don't need to turn on each other." I said using as much calm as I could muster. "We need to work together." I turned to Keith. "I already warned him in my head, knowing I couldn't reach him. I told him I would kill him in a way, by the time I'm through with him, he'll be begging for it."_

"_That's not good enough!" Keith bellowed. He paced a few times and turned back to me. "This is your fault." he growled._

"_Keith-" Skylar started._

"_No listen to me! If Claire hadn't been hinting she could have prevented this. If she hadn't have let that scum stay, Sierra would still be here!" he punched the floor boards, sending dust and a few remaining sparks into the air._

"_Keith-" Skylar tried again, but this time I stopped him._

"_He's right." I told them, trying to make it sound like some sort of apology. "It's my fault. I should have known something like this could have happened."_

_And from that time on, Keith never let me forget about it. He constantly blamed me. And I took it without fighting back. Normally I would, but knowing every word he threw at me was one hundred percent correct._

"Damn it, Claire, look at me!" Cody grabbed my shoulders and shook me just like Keith had done in the memory.

"Sorry." I repeated, still half dazed from the sudden rush of the past. It still swarmed in my head, but after a few moments of deep breaths. I was able to think clearly again.

"What happened?" I looked at him quickly, the question reminding me again of what Keith had said.

"Nothing." I quickly back tracked when he looked at me again. "When you reminded me of that, the memory of when it happened surged through my mind. That's all." I shrugged.

"That bad?"

"You have no idea." I said, looking at the place where I swear I saw Jason in Cody's body. I didn't know if that true was a dream, but I had the strangest feeling that I was going to find out soon.


	24. Chapter 23: Volturi

23. Volturi

"Yet you still hang around him like everything's okay?" Cody pressed later that night. The rain pounded hard against the window and some small flashes of lighting came followed by low rumbles of thunder.

"It was a mistake he made. I can't hold it against him forever." I told him, unfolding the covers on my bed and slipping under them.

"Ok I'll give you that," Cody laid right down next to me and propped himself on his elbow so he could look at my face. "But I don't understand why you still hang around him. Or better yet, just kill him." Cody's face had a smile on it when I looked up at him.

I closed my eyes so I wouldn't get angry when I answered him. "Listen very carefully, Cody. Carlisle is part of my family. I wouldn't do anything to hurt him and killing Edward would hurt him deeply. It would kill Bella and she would end up dying too from trying to avenge him by fighting me. Don't you know this?" I asked looking at him when it dawned on me.

"I'm losing strength in this body." Cody took the words right out of my mouth. It was working. Soon I would be able to be with Jason, but there was another concept I hadn't thought of until now.

If Cody is becoming like he used to be in Jason's body, will Jason become like Cody in Cody's body. I wanted to tell myself that was impossible, but then I would just be lying to myself. There was some mystery to this and whether I liked it or not, Jason may become just as bad as Cody was.

But.

Cody was like this years ago. The world had hardened him. Jason hasn't had to a chance to get hard so maybe Cody's body won't effect him as much. All I had left to do about that was to wish, because if it did happen, I would have no control over it.

"So you can't read my mind?" I tried to suppress the glee in my voice, but it was harder than it looked.

Cody dipped his head and looked away. In one fluid movement, he wrenched the window open and the smell of rain and the fierce wind came flowing in. The wisps of wind made my hair flail around my face and Cody's hair-Jason's hair- was just as bad as mine.

"the storm right now is raging, giving it all it has for the moment. It destroys homes, trees, and sometimes, even lives. At first I was the storm, sending destruction to everything I touched. Now as my howling winds die down, I hardly have any energy left. Everything I've done since I came her is being unraveled, for the better or worse, I can't even tell. My powers are leaving this body and going into the other, giving Jason the strength."

I gasped. "So you knew about it?"

He turned to me. "How could I not? I could just feel the energy draining from my finger tips. So if it was leaving the body it didn't belong in, well, at least I knew where it's going." he looked down again. "I knew from the moment you left Jason from the first time I let you go to him that he knew and he also told you, but what could I do? Soon I won't even be able to block your mind and then Edward will tell them all."

I smiled. "They'll kill you."

"Don't sound so sad about it either." Cody mocked. Then he smiled too. "But if you kill this body, you kill Jason and vise versa. Until I leave this body-which can't be long-were untouchable."

"Meaning?"

"Once he gets my mind and I get his, he'll be able to do things unimaginable. He'll just be a clone of me and then some."

"How long?" I asked, glaring at him. How could he let this happen? Why did he have to ruin my life in the first place? "Never mind, it doesn't matter. Jason will never be like you." I said with confidence I didn't fell.

"Maybe I'm wrong, but I sure hope you're right, Claire."

My shoulders sagged and I gave up. This was too much. First the overwhelming memory of Sierra-that had too many feelings since I was still a vampire then-and now this. Why didn't world just crack open and swallow me whole so I wouldn't have to deal with this pain anymore?

Jacob was right. Life sucks, and then you die. I just didn't want to die.

Sleep came easily since I cried, something I very rarely did. Cody tried to make it better, but then he soon realized that by him touching me, it was only making my convulsions worse. I think he even considered slapping me because he thought I was in hysterics. Hey, maybe I was, but I was out too soon to figure out anyway.

The sun shining brightly through my window gently woke me up. The warmth on my face made me smile, until I felt my neck was stinging. And it wasn't just a little sting either, it was like a knife was dug into my neck and the person holding it was cruel enough to keep twisting it around. I clenched my teeth and walked briskly to the bathroom across the hall.

There was nothing in the mirror and even by the time I got there the pain in my neck had gone, but for how long? Maybe I had imagined it. No. not even I could imagine pain that unbearable. At least not since I was changed, but that was a different story.

I rolled my eyes and jogged down the hall, liking the familiar feel of running. Maybe I could run later. Well that was until I remembered I was pregnant and due to give birth at any moment, and the pain of bouncing was almost as bad as the pain in my neck.

I stepped carefully down each step when I felt someone pick me up and run me down the stairs too quickly for them to be any sort of human.

"Thanks Syd." I told her.

Syd beamed and bounced away, shaking her auburn curls. She dyed her hair? Huh, I never noticed that before.

"Did it last night." Syd called from the laundry room while I made my way to the kitchen. She brought out a handful of Trevor's clothes, folded them and went back in for some of mine. I smiled and sat at the counter. I had the strangest craving for pickles and the only thing strange about it was that I never liked pickled, but they tasted like heaven when they touched my tongue.

Trevor walked in the kitchen wearing his boxers that was a bright neon pink. I sprayed milk from my mouth and it came out my nose.

"What are those?" I asked, laughter ringing around me. I was half choking on my milk.

He smiled and shrugged. "Skylar gave them to me." when he turned around I saw what was written across the butt. 'Bite me' was etched in big, black bold letters.

Of course Skylar gave it to him. He was the one who gave Jason that stupid vampire shirt on the day he asked me to marry him. Now he gets to Trevor. If I see Cody Walls walking around with a hat or tattoo-can vampires get tattoos?-I swear I'll kill him.

I got dressed quickly in a pink shirt that was from the maternal wing-I got a few dirty looks when I went shopping there. I wonder why?-and a blue Aeropostale jacket. I slipped on some dark jeans that fit almost perfectly, other than my round stomach and then slipped on some black Old Navy flip flops.

Cody had my car waiting and then he drove off with me to Jason's father's house. I still had no idea what I was going to say to him, but Cody promised he would help me as much as he could. I could tell some of Jason's characteristics were now showing.

I rang the door bell and when Jason's dad opened the door he did a double take. Jason was the spitting image of his father, more or less anyways.

"Claire? Jason?"

"Hi dad." Cody said, stepping in the door. I on the other hand was still stuck in the doorway, trying to look away from his father's stare.

Cody's phone buzzed and he put it to his ear. He mumbled a few words in. "Yeah, I'll be right there, Lukas."

"Lukas?"

"Sorry I have to go." he kissed my cheek swiftly and left me standing on the porch. So much for his promise.

"Come in." Jason's dad said stiffly. I came in quickly and sat down on the couch, thankful for the sudden relief from the pressure on my ankles.

It was quiet for a moment, well more fore like a half hour. His dad just sat there, watching me. I tried to look away, but sometimes I peeped back at him, just to see if he was still looking at me. He always was.

"So…" I said nervously.

He said nothing so I just accepted the silence. There was no way I was going to force anything from his dad. He would need to hear this gently and it can't be rushed.

After another hour of Cody's absence, Jason's dad turned on the TV. The basketball games were still raging. Ohio State versus Duke. Or at least I thought it was Duke. I wasn't that big a fan of basketball. I was more of a football kind of girl.

His dad leaned forward. "How?"

I knew what he was asking when he looked at me stomach then back at me. "It's a long story."

"I've got time." he said coldly.

"It's not a story for you." I said quickly. I sighed. "Listen to me, what's happened is very dangerous. If I told you, not only would they kill you, but they would kill my whole family and Jason as well." I sucked in another breath before he asked another question. "I know it's really hard to digest, but if not for, then for your own son's safety. For your grandson's."

His eyes bulged then. "It's a boy?" his voice was full of awe.

I smiled and nodded. "Look I know you've grown very suspicious over this last year with the most wanted lists, the absences that we couldn't tell you and now this. The thing is that we can't tell you. Jason entered my world, which he knew what he was getting into, but I can't protect him from everything."

He nodded and looked away. "I judged you, Claire. Maybe you're better for my boy than I thought, but I would at least thought he would have enough guts to stay and help explain his own son."

"That's another thing I'm not allowed to talk about." I said. Not yet at least. I wanted to add that, but if he heard me I would just have to lie more.

"It's only been a few months. How has it gotten this far?"

"I can't answer your questions, Mr. Greenfield-"

"Well it's dad now. I mean you did marry my son." he winked at me.

"So you think." I mumbled softly under my breath. If he heard me he made no notice of it.

"Well, dad," it felt weird to say that, "I can't answer these things. They'll kill us all."

"Who are these people you keep talking about?"

"That would be us." a small girl voice came from the door that was now ajar.

I turned around and saw Jane, standing with Aro, Alec and Caius. My eyes went wide as I saw those four figures standing there. Normally I would be angry, but right now fear was struck in my heart.

"Look she's scared. The great Claire Emerson is scared of us." Jane tinkled in a baby voice that made my fury peak.

"Shut up." I snapped, clenching my fists. I took in some satisfaction when she jumped back at my words. It seemed it wasn't only my family who was so used to being afraid of me.

"Now now." Aro _tisked_. His milky red eyes watched me with sudden interest. His eyes then moved down to my stomach, which I instinctively covered.

Caius laughed. "You see Aro? I told you something like this would happen." at first I thought he was talking about me being human, but his words surprised me. "You see how she spills our secrets to this old human?"

Aro held up his hand while Alec just stood still. "Claire, love! You are human."

"No dip." I said before I realized what I said, but I didn't take it back. In fact I laughed at how much Trevor had affected me in such a short amount of time.

"Now before you ask how this happened, I can tell you I have no idea." I turned to the pale blonde Caius. "And why would I disobey the law I once held as high as you do. Even better if I can perfectly recall, which I can."

Caius looked taken aback while Jane hissed.

Aro held out his hand for me to grab, but I stood up and walked slowly away, never turning my back on them. Jason's father just sat there in pure fear.

"Master, let me give her a taste of her own medicine." Jane said with a sneer. I could tell nothing would give Jane more joy than to hurt me with something like my own gift. It always frustrated her when I could hurt her. Those were the days I had lived with the Volturi, but I left shortly before Carlisle ever joined them.

"Peace, dear ones. We did not come to harm, but to visit." Aro said quietly.

I barked out a laugh. "When does the Volturi ever leave Volterra? Never! Not even when they need to hunt. People bring the food for you. Stefan and Vladimir were right in wanting to rage war with you." I smiled harshly. "You're lucky that I wasn't there when you want to fight the Cullens."

Still Jason's dad sat there in terror.

"Watch you tongue, human." Caius said coldly.

"Where's Marcus, Caius? Was he too afraid to be in the same room with the one that could tear you all apart in less than a second. I would be." this was getting fun.

Jane frowned. But then she smiled brightly at me. Then I felt it. The pain made my knees buckle and I fell on the floor, but I made no sound. I was so use to this pain and besides, this pain was nothing like I could unleash on her. Nor was it like the pain I felt when I dreamed I left Jason.

"Jane." Alec said soothingly. The pain left my body as instant as it first came. I straggled up and Jason's father's hands helped me up.

"Are you crazy?" he yelled, walking closer to Jane. "She's pregnant! What did you do to her?"

Jane winked at me and grabbed his neck.

"No!" I screamed, but Jane had already bit his neck and she sucking the blood from him, while I just sat there, unable to do anything. After his eyes rolled back and he was as pale as her, Jane dropped his dead body.

Aro shook his head and then cocked it to the side like someone was whispering in his ear. "I see we aren't welcome here at the moment. We'll see you soon."

"But Aro! She's human! She know too much!" Caius yelled, following Aro.

Aro seemed to ignore him and kept walking. What was wrong with him? Aro wasn't normally like this. He may be insane, but not cruel. At least not when I used to live with him.

After ten minutes of staring at Jason's father's dead body, I felt a tear trickled down my right cheek. Cody finally came back and after trying to listen to my story about what happened, he gave up after I couldn't even understand myself. All he must have got out of it was 'Volturi' because his lip curled at the end.

I didn't have much time to calm down because as soon as he helped me up, there was a lot of pain around my torso. At first I ignored it, but five minutes later it happened again. That's when I knew what was going on.

I was in labor.


	25. Chapter 24: Vampire

24. Vampire

Pain was everywhere in my lower abdominal. It was like something's teeth were scarping against the inside of my skin, trying to claw or chew its way out. I wouldn't be too surprised if that's what my son was doing. I mean that's what Renesmee did. Why not him too?

Oh god. Oh god.

I wasn't ready. I thought I had more time. How was I to raise a child when I wasn't eve ready? Wasn't there supposed to be baby showers and what not? Huh, maybe I should have thought of that earlier.

I was completely unaware that Cody was already driving me to the hospital.

"No! Not there!" I yelled, clearly in pain. I almost grabbed the steering wheel from him, but the pain held me back like an iron rope.

"Why not?" he asked, gritting his teeth. Clearly he had no idea what to do.

"This baby isn't exactly human, Cody." I panted, trying to make sure I didn't give birth right here. _Stay in there little guy. At least until we get to Carlisle. _

"Right." he grunted making a sharp left turn onto the highway. He passed honking cars and then went straight pass a cop cruiser. It didn't even make an attempt to follow us. I wonder if we were going so fast that he couldn't even recognize us.

I tried to think past the pain coming through my body. I returned to the happy place I had no idea I had. To a moment where Jason and I were together. Maybe it wasn't real, but to me it was.

_Jason held me with his arms wrapped tight around me. His steady breathing and his thrumming heart was like a lullaby to a person who couldn't even sleep._

_The lights were dark and even through the night, I could see perfectly. We were in his room that was filled with clothes all over the floor. His closet stood over to the right corner and his bed was by the window. The moon shone through the window; it was almost full._

_We just sat there, hoping the moment would last forever. In this place it could. This was my own dream. It could last as long as I want it to. This was my own little world._

_And even here there was pain._

"_I'll be here." Jason told me. He rubbed my back and kissed my hair. I wanted to ask for what, but suddenly everything changed, but just how I looked at it. I was no longer the strong vampire being held in a human's arms, but a weak, pregnant human being held in the arms of Pryor Wolf._

"_Stay." I said, snuggling closer to him. Even though he said he would be here, I couldn't help but feel the need to be reassured. _

"_Forever." he breathed before pulling my face to his. Our kiss lasted long and passionately before a sharp pang filled by torso._

_I looked at my swollen stomach that was bleeding. It was slashed open. There was a flash of light and Cody was holding my son up by the ankle. My baby was crying and Cody was smiling like he just won the lottery. He sunk his teeth into the infants neck and soon the crying was cut off._

_He dropped my limb son and walked away._

_I looked at Jason wondering why he wasn't stopping this, but he wasn't there. In fact no one had been holding my arms for some time. I had just now noticed it._

"_Jason?" I called, not really expecting an answer, and sure enough, I never got one. All that filled the silence was my scream. _

And then the pain I had been imagining became twice as real and twice as hard to live through. For so many ticking seconds that felt like hours, I just wished I could die and it would all end now. The only thing that kept me going was that it would all be over and I would have my perfect son.

It was Jason's son just as much as it was mine and I would be damned if Cody stopped us from being together with him.

"Are you okay?" Cody asked, pressing his cold hand against my clammy face. Huh, I had no idea I was sweaty.

"Nope. Giving child birth is just a walk on the beach." I hissed through my clenched teeth. I had to keep them closed so I would bite off my tongue. This pain was beginning to be too much. How did other women survive it? This was killer.

It was ironic that this pain that made you think you were dying brought life to another tiny miracle.

"Well I'm assuming that if you can still make sarcastic jokes you're aren't dying."

"Hasn't anyone told you if you assume something you end up making and ass out of you and me?" I whispered, half laughing. It was so hard to joke at a time like this, but somehow I was managing to do it with style.

"I think I have heard that before." his voice was slightly hysterical.

We passed more cars and soon I felt another sharp turn. How long would this last?

"Were almost there, love."

Did I say that out loud? I must have because he just answered it.

"Don't-" pant, "Call-" pant, "Me that." is was getting harder to breathe.

"In and out." Cody told me robotically.

"If you tell me to push you'll be dead in a second, Cody Evans, Marshall, Anderson, or what ever the hell your name is right now."

"Man, are pregnant women always like this?"

"I'll be happy to switch at any time with you."

He chuckled and turned right to the exit ramp. Then we went down the familiar rode to Forks, Washington. We were twisting a lot so I just assumed we were on the drive way to the Cullens' house.

It seemed funny that the contractions had started only an hour ago. It felt so short and yet so long. Well my mind was spinning so that sounded about right for now. Was this what it felt like to be drunk? Certainly not.

Pain pierced my neck again though if I hadn't been thinking about it, I wouldn't have noticed it with all the other pain going on here. It was just like this morning, but it felt more like someone had just put a flame on my neck and my flesh was on fire.

It felt just like…no, it couldn't be.

Cody stomped on the breaks making me lose any train of thought I had. Like the baby knew it was almost time, my pains got so much worse it almost felt like I was changing. It was a burning inside my body, making every nerve ending ultra sensitive.

People crowded the car.

I half groaned and half screamed when my son moved around, trying to find its way out.

"What happened?" Skylar asked.

"Are you stupid?" Cody snapped, clearly as on the edge as I was. "She's having a baby!"

When I looked at Skylar through my bleary eyes I saw his face all jumbled up. I knew he was going to say something back until another whimper came through my lips.

"Just let it stop."

Skylar grabbed me at once.

"Claire, it's going to be okay." Bella said to me, taking my hand while Edward had my other. "I know it hurts, but trust me, its worth it." a flash of Renesmee came to my mind. My son would be just as beautiful when he came. I tried to think only about that and not how he got here in the process.

Like my body knew I was getting through this pain just barely, the fire kicked up a notch. Did Bella feel like this? I knew she was in pain, but Nessie had broken her spine before she could feel too much. Was mine better or was it just building up to explode one final time.

It shocked me how it didn't bother me if I died right now. I would die for so many things, but this was different. This unborn child was a part of me. It was the creation of Jason and I being one. I know that can sound gross, but its like me and him put together.

I smiled in pain.

"Claire!" Cody yelled, grabbing my hand. I knew he hated this child in me, but I knew he also hated me being in pain. I really hoped he knew how much I loved it and he wouldn't destroy it as soon as it came out. I know Skylar would never let that happen. Even Edward and Bella would fight for it. I know Alice and Jacob will too. Heck, maybe everyone will.

"I'm fine." I lied, sort of. Bella was right. It was so worth it. When it was all over I knew my son would live forever and we would be a family. I wouldn't have to go through this again because someone would change me back and Jason would be mine.

They took me upstairs and laid me on a hospital table. They hooked me up to all these monitors and brought out fresh blood-AB negative. I figured that out when he first did some tests on me, right after Jason's little outburst. I saw Carlisle stick a needle in my forearm. I was guessing for an IV. I know I couldn't feel it, but I could _hear_ it slide through my soft skin. I know that was weird, but my hearing just got a lot better.

There was another groan besides mine.

"If it bothers you that much than get out." Cody snapped at somebody.

"It's just the blood," Alice shot back. Yeesh, everyone was on the edge besides me. Maybe this was contagious, well not the pregnancy, but you know what I mean.

"Here this will help." Carlisle whispered in my ear, sliding something that felt like a dog toy. "Bella never had a chance to use it." I felt his ease away from me.

"We use it for Jacob mostly," Rosalie sneered. "Stupid mutt."

"Rose, not the time." Esme hushed. Was everyone here to see this. Well in fact this was the first in its kind. Out of everywhere I've been-and I've been through every place-there has never been a child born with Pryor-Wolf. Mostly because if you get bit by a vampire early enough, they wanted to save you and depending on your sex, you didn't have kids. There are mainly only male Pryor-Wolves because its mostly male werewolves. How sexist is that?

"Carlisle." Cody urged. Strange I never heard him call Carlisle by name. Jason, sure, but never Cody. I wonder where the other Cody was.

"I'm working on her, Jason. Don't worry." Carlisle said sweetly, but his voice wasn't as calm as normal. I wonder if he was thinking what I was. That maybe it would be worse than Bella's because it was going so well right now.

It almost shocked me that they said Jason and not Cody. Maybe they didn't know yet, well they would soon.

The pain raged on.

It actually got worse. It spread through my veins, but why was it even there? I mean shouldn't it be down where I'm having my baby? Not that it wasn't there too, but the blistering fire was all over me, making my throat parched. Again I thought of what it felt like, but there was no way it could be that.

Then again I've never been through this. Maybe this was what I always felt like.

I squeezed the toy Carlisle had handed me. I clenched my teeth and squeezed harder, hoping it would make the pain less, but in fact the speeding of my heart only made it worse. I felt like I was going to die. Why couldn't they just kill me?

I used my other hand and too soon did I tear the rubbed in half. There was no way I could use it now so I glared over at Cody. "Give me your hand." I growled. I actually saw the fear in his eyes as I demanded his hand. Others chuckled a bit, but finally he grasped it.

"Ouch." Cody winced. "For a human grasp that hurts."

I smiled. I thought I was going to say something smart, but the pain cut off my mouth. It was becoming very unbearable. I mean this was getting ridiculous.

I heard a change of pace on the monitor. I wasn't too much of a doctor, but I knew enough that if your heart beat slows down-especially when your giving birth-its never a good sign.

"Hold on." Carlisle said, still using his calm that I could see through. I traveled with Carlisle long enough to know when he was panicking and right now he was sugar coating everything he could get his hands on.

"What's happening?" I heard Jacob's voice from behind. I closed my eyes, no longer being able to stand the pain to keep them open.

"I don't know. I've never seen this before. It's like…" Carlisle stopped short when I heard Edward's foot steps. He didn't speak, but I knew he was there. I could taste him on my tongue that I still held in my mouth. How in the world.

"Let me make sure she's not bleeding." Edward sniffed around me. I knew I had to be bleeding somewhere, because it felt like I was in pure agony. I could almost hear my son screaming in torture too. that's what killed me.

"Claire?" Edward asked, uneasily.

"What?" I managed to make out without spitting everywhere. Or maybe I did, but at this point I could care less if I just sprayed someone.

"Did someone bite you?"

That threw me off guard.

"No. Why?"

"How did we miss it! Its right on her neck!" Edward yelled.

"Calm down, son. It must have just formed." Carlisle was starting to break through his usual panic.

"Would you please tell me what you two are babbling about?" I hissed. I pushed open my eyes to see the worried faces look at me in complete and utter horror.

Like the first time I was told that I was human, Skylar and Cody-in Jason's body-glanced at each other before Skylar answered.

"Claire, you're turning into a vampire."

Which could only mean…

"My baby is going to die." I said with such certainty I almost cried.

Just as I said that Jason-in Cody's body-burst through the door. "What happened he asked, seeing the tears that slid down my cheek. That was before he got tackled to the ground by almost every make in the room besides Carlisle and Cody.


	26. Chapter 25: Jonathan

25. Jonathan

My name is Jason Charles Greenfield. In these next few moments I will explain to you the event of…well everything. These memories will be forever ingrained in my mind. Claire would explain it to you, but sadly she wouldn't be able to tell you to save her own life. Ironic huh?

Everything happened in a blur. Skylar tackled me and Edward was next. They pinned me to the ground with faces so angry I almost hated myself too, but I wasn't Cody. I was Jason, trapped in the body that has tried to steal Claire so many times. Cody jumped up and pulled them off of me while Claire stared at me wide eyed, disbelief everywhere on her face. It then broke into a wide grin and I bounded to her side, taking her face in my hands and kissed her deeply.

No one touched me, but I knew some wanted to. Of course they were confused. They believed I was Cody and that Cody was Jason. I was about to talk about it, but Cody beat me to it. Imagine that.

It took ten whole minutes to explain everything just right. He told them how he switched with me before the wedding and it took months for Claire to figure it out. When she did he forced her to keep quite or I would die. Of course she complied and spent everyday with the monster-his words not mine. I would have called him something much worse, but in honor of Claire I won't say it right now.

Some weren't surprised, but others still wondered who Cody was. The room was filled with silence and every body was rigid like they were ach made out of stone.

Right beside Claire stood a tall Indian man, but his features still had boyish qualities in them. His eyes kept darting to me even though Claire said I was all right and that it was the other he should worry about.

At that moment she had another spasm of pain, but it didn't stop. Little did I know that she was in pain the whole time we were talking about what happened. Had I known I would have forgotten the introductions and got straight to whatever the hell they were doing, but they weren't doing much of anything.

Carlisle was trying to figure out how to get the baby out safely. I mean Claire's body was turning back into a vampire because Cody couldn't hold the spell he put over Claire. I probably could have done something-and at this moment I so wish I had. Maybe it would have turned out so much differently-but I still didn't quite understand how to use my gifts. Maybe it was better that I didn't use them. I could have made it much worse.

I could see the glint of red reaching her eyes, the pale covering each and every tan spot she had. I watched as she grew more perfect looking and more graceful. It hit me that my only son that I could possibly have with Claire might not make it, but I was praying for a miracle. To whom I had no idea, but I was praying to someone.

I heard her heart go into over time and even as I heard each thump I could tell already something was wrong. The heart beat was much too fast, even for the changing process. I would know, I went through it to you know. Her blood was still flowing and she was much too hot.

At that point I blew it off, but right now I wish I hadn't.

Claire smiled through the pain somehow and she was still able to assure me that everything would work out and soon I would be a father. I was able to force a smile, but even she knew I couldn't be happy at a time like this. I'm still not now. To be truthful I'm still in shock.

Carlisle was doing the best he could, but not even that was enough. Her skin was too hard to cut and the baby couldn't come out the other way so it looked like I already knew the alternative.

Claire grabbed my hand. "Jonathan." she whispered. In fact those were the last words I heard he say. It was the last time I saw her alive too.

Once she got those words out she passed out. Her heart was beating too fast, but it started to slow. I mean really slow. I also heard a grinding noise coming from her torso.

"No…" I heard Jacob and Edward whisper it horror. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I already saw. Right at the end of Claire's stomach was little teeth poking out, biting it's way through. And it was killing Claire in the process.

As we watched in silence it chewed its way out. Carlisle pulled it out and handed it to Alice when she quickly ran down the stairs. We each moved on Claire.

Cody watched in the corner, tears falling from his face.

We each had a job to do, but I was left standing there, feeling utterly useless. They were pumping her heart while I stood and watched. I held my breath, my broken heart constricting to wear I couldn't breathe even if I needed to.

After twenty minutes of trying to revive my love, Carlisle called it. I awoke at that moment. Everything inside me flared. It couldn't be over. Claire had promised me she would be with me forever, our rings said so. She had married me-technically-and she loved me. She raised my son, made love to me. To me. A human guy she met at school. We fell in love and in the few seconds I stood there I was able to relive every memory I ever had with her.

I pushed Carlisle and Edward away with such force Edward plunged through the wall. I pushed harder on her heart, trying to will it to beat again, but Carlisle was right, she was dead.

But it happened so fast. She was kissing my just a half hour ago, laughing and telling me it would be ok. Now she was gone and I would never see her laugh again, but I didn't give up.

I changed back into Jason while Cody took his body back and ran for the hills. After that little production I stood there for days-five to be exact-just pushing on her chest, every second hoping she would spring to life and say 'gotcha'. But this wasn't a joke. This was her life now. I knew she was going to die sooner or later, but I was so hoping later.

Now I knew my love was gone. I saw her beautiful hair fade out into a lifeless color, her cheeks were pallid, and I could tell her face wasn't any where close to being peaceful. Even in death I could still see Claire as the most beautiful thing in my world. And right now my world was spinning out of place.

We buried her a week later with a funeral and everything. I was getting ready when Bella came in and put something warm and sturdy in my arms. When I looked down I saw my son. He had blonde hair that was already curling like mine. His face, his nose, his body was just like mine. I could pull out things that were Claire's but I knew we would look like twins when he got older.

He opened his eyes and I saw those deep blue eyes: Claire's eyes.

"Jonathan." I barely whispered, giving him the name Claire spoke last. She must have known she was dying or else she would have said something different. She didn't have to waist her breath to say she loved me, I already knew that. I would always know that.

I walked out the door in a suit and grabbed Bella's hand, bringing her with me. I held Jonathan in my left arm and watched his alert face. It seemed like he even knew what was going on. He didn't talk, but I saw one tear roll down his cheek. I wiped it away with a sad smile and kissed his forehead.

Some might think I would resent the thing that killed Claire, but Claire would have hated me. She gave up her life for this small miracle and I had to take care of it. I loved my little son and my only regret was that he would never know his wonderful mother.

My eyes were wet before I reached the first step.

No one spoke as we walked to the site. We purchased a stone coffin made of granite and laid flowers inside. Skylar said a few words I didn't even hear. I was in my own little world, lost in Jonathan's blue eyes, one of the only things I had left of her besides Jonathan himself. He set the final rose on his mother's grave.

"Bye momma." he whispered. It made my heart clench to hear those words stumble out of his mouth. I barely registered he shouldn't even be speaking, but all I could do was cry. I held my son closer, wanting to never let go. Hoping he knew that Claire would never truly leave him. She would watch him from heaven because she belonged there. I could only hope.

I brushed the hair from Claire's unmoving face before kissing her lips one last time. There were hard and I felt no spark like normal, nor was I expecting to. I closed the casket and helped the others lift the rock into the earth.

I walked away wishing nothing more than to rewind the year would start over from the moment her heart started to beat. Wishing nothing more that her heart was still beating and mine would stop.

_Yeah I know, this story ended kind of sudden, but I got the idea while I was in DC. I hope you liked it, even though I just killed off my main character, but just you wait till you see Jonathan's story, because I can't wait either. The next title is going to be called "Remember" so look for it over the next few weeks. Please review!!! _


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